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Father of Two - Needs Advice

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  • 01-01-2015 4:57pm
    #1
    cavandaddy
    Registered Users Posts: 1 ✭


    Hi All,

    I need some advice I am a father of two young kids living in Cavan. I am in a very strained relationship (married a few years) living with her and my kids. I want to leave as its been a daily hell but I am fearful for not getting access to my kids if i leave.

    We are renting the house we are in so there is no legal issues there. I dont want to get into a legal battle but she is highly controlling and already wont allow the kids to see my parents. If she does she constantly phones me while i am there. My parents are highly respected people and feel very vilified by her actions not to mention causing them deep sadness. She has stated she will not allow the near 5 year old on her own as she puts her to bed and sleeps with her since she was born. She has also said the youngest 2 years wont settle without his sister.

    I am looking at places to move out but i am afraid she wont allow me access if i do and I have no clue what to do regarding access, maintenance etc. I pay for everything she doesn't work and is currently in college (Which i pay for).

    My family are telling me to take legal advice just so i know what to do next. I'd appreciate any advice for people who have been in similar situations. Where to go or what to do next as if i go i feel i will be hurting the kids but if i stay i am stuck in a loveless marriage for how long?

    thanks in advance


    Andrew
    Tagged:


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  • Options
    #2
    FISMA
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,616 ✭✭✭FISMA


    cavandaddy wrote: »
    My family are telling me to take legal advice just so i know what to do next.

    Sorry to hear of your situation Andrew and I hope that the New Year treats you better than last.

    I would suggest that you seek legal help on the quiet before doing anything. In the long run, it will be the smartest move.

    Listen to those people that have your best interest in mind.


  • Options
    #3
    AndonHandon
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,382 ✭✭✭AndonHandon


    Hi OP, sorry to hear about your situation. Since you are married to the mother of your kids you are automatically a guardian of them, no need to apply for this. This automatcally entitles you to certain rights.

    However, this is separate from custody and access. If you move out, it appears you are happy for your wife to have the children so there is no custody issue. But bear in mind, as you are married you are both custodians of the children and therefore equal in this regard.

    If you move out and are worried about access to your children, firstly try to agree some arrangement yourself with your wife. Failing this, you can try to use a mediator to come to some arrangement. If this fails you will need to apply to the Court for an order. A few things to note on this route; the Order will have to be followed and cannot be breached; a judge will decide what works best for the children; unless you are violent or a drug addict you will almost definitely get access to your children. You do not need a solicitor to apply for an Order for access and the family law court office are extremely helpful in guiding you with the pre-court procedure, however you can employ a solicitor if you wish.


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