Attracted to older guys

gayguy2009

Hi everyone,

I have been using dating sites to find guys which is very helpful. However I have been chatting to a guy who is older than myself. He is in his mid 40s while I am in my mid 20's.

I've never felt right about going on a date with an older guy, especially cause my parents and friends would be very judgmental if they found out.

Im not necessarily looking for anything serious with this guy, but I am very much attracted to him. I really want to meet up with him but the thought of someone i know finding out scares me.

Anyone have any advice on this issue? thanks

Tokyo

You're in your mid 20's - an adult - and old enough to make your own decisions. And ultimately you have to go with what is right for you. If you are attracted to somebody older than yourself and want to follow up on it with a date, then do it. You'll only sell yourself short if you sacrifice your own happiness rather than be judged by friends. And true friends will want to see you happy.

OakHonor

What is it that scares you exactly?
Also what is it you're looking for?
you say going on a date but also saying not looking for anything serious with him implies hookup IMHO.


Firstly, you could communicate with him that you're only looking for a hookup. And that you would prefer to be discrete about it.
If you want to feel safer then agree to meet somewhere public, like in a cafe where there is minimal risk of running into someone you know.
To be honest, there's a transparency bias that most people have, you know why you two are meeting up but to anyone else you're just two dudes in a cafe or park bench etc.

But getting back to communication, has he told you or implied he is looking for?

Lau2976

If you want it you should go for it. I was in a similar situation recently (he is 52, I'm 24) but taking the risk has made me really happy. No matter who you date somebody will judge it as wrong. And, if you decide it isn't just casual, your friends and family will get over it. If they don't then maybe they aren't that great for you.

Mathrew

Just follow what you really want, you are the one who will decision in your life.

Rubberchikken

if your family are judgemental, chances are they're be judgy about almost anyone you dated.
you're old enough to decide who to date. and you'll have to be old enough to put up with whatever people think.

good luck

anthony4335

Family will always get over things like that if he is good for you, it may be hard and awkward at the start ,but better a person that is older than you than a person who may be bad to you.
On the other side of things, I cannot imagine dating anyone that much younger than me.