Giving up on ever finding somebody

LegacyUser

Maybe it's just Christmas and it is really hitting me that I am alone when I see all the couples happy together at this time of year. Im late 30s, male and have been single for over a year and am kind of resigning myself at this stage to the idea that I will never get married or have kids. I have had two long term relationships, was with a girl from age 27 to 34, we were engaged but she ended it before the wedding. I was devastated at the time but have got over it well and truly and do realise t was for the best that it happened before we were married. I was then with a girl for 18 months but ended it just over a year ago, we were living in different parts of the country and I just didn't feel my feelings were strong enough to keep the relationship gong.

For the last year then I have ben single and not had very many dates even, I have tried internet dating and been on a couple of dates but never went anywhere. At this stage as I say just kind of feel resigned to ending up alone and my confidence is low. I wouldn't consider myself good looking but am regularly told I am cute, I an short though at only 5 ft 4 and while I am perfectly fine with this I do obviously understand it will be a deal breaker for lots of women. I hope im not in any way big headed but female friends are always wondering why im single and I am starting to feel there must be something wrong with me.

I have great family, friends, social life but I am starting to despair of ever finding that someone special. Work as a teacher and I guess it really hit me last summer when I had the 3 months off and nobody to spend time with. I really do feel I would be a very good husband and dad but that I am running out of time. Any advice greatly appreciated.

strobe

Advice? Breathe. Calm down.

It's only been a year you've been single and not even a year with nothing going in, you've been on several dates. You've had two previous longterm relationships and not a life time ago.

Relax man. Go easy.

Sound Bite

Seriously??? You are still in your 30's so don't understand the panic.

I'm in my 30s, still single and whatever happens happens. If you are happy with yourself, it's not a big deal. Perhaps you need to work on you and your own happiness before you get into your next relationship.

Chemical Byrne

OP, I understand your frustration and being single can be frustrating, but I think you are flapping out in a big way. I mean you are in your thirties, not exactly over the hill is it?

If you want to meet someone just keep getting yourself out there. Yeah, it's tough but it will pay off. Don't be trying to force it.

An Bhanríon

Learn to enjoy your own company and not always need somebody to share things with. It is a very attractive feature in a single person... And if you have a social life and try and go out and meet new people you will meet someone. Give it time.

My husband was in his mid-forties when we started going out (I am much younger!) Not saying you will have to wait that long, but people had always presumed he would never marry (himself included!) and after years of being single he started going out with me. And the rest, as they say, is history.

Don't worry, Christmas and summer holidays are always the times that you are reminded that being single is making you a bit lonely. I was single for years and always found those times the worst.