Another one

LegacyUser

Hey everyone, I'll cut straight to the chase.

I'm a 23 years of age and it recently hit me that I may have social anxiety. I have a handful of some good friends in different counties around Ireland who I do meet up with and some in my hometown and then that's where it ends.

I never had many friends in primary school and got stuck with a group all the way through secondary school, many of who bullied me. In college I'm finding it more and more difficult to talk to people and when I do, its awkward for no apparent reason and I never know what to say. All this is true even though I grew up interacting with so many different people so its not like I don't have the social skills or experience.

I see and hear strangers meet for the first time and just don't understand how people can have such smooth, fun conversations from the get go.

I can't go through college like this anymore. There are so many things to do, places to see, activities to try and fun to be had, but for one reason or the other I just can't seem to make any more friends.

I enter the main building in college and I get hit with anxiety every time! I enter the gym only to feel anxious- like everyone is watching and judging me. I can't walk past a line of cars in a traffic jam without feeling that people I might know are looking out and eyeing me up.

If I end a (awkward) conversation with someone in college, walk away and then see them soon afterwards, I change my path as to avoid them.

I feel anxious and nervous talking to people in shops, cinemas, airports- you name it.

The most frustrating thing is that I know this isn't who I am but I just can't seem to break out of my shell. I really enjoy having people around me and start to feel lonely quite easily. When I am with my close friends or family, we have such a good time and it doesn't occur to me twice that I may have some sort of S.A. And I know for a fact that my family and all of my close friends really enjoy my company, cos I act myself when I am with them.

On top of all this I'm nearly certain that I have Seasonal Affective Disorder. As well, I'm paranoid, I've serious confidence issues, I think negatively,... hahaha.

Any help towards curing this illness would be appreciated. Can't take any more of this at this stage.

Rubberchikken

first step talk to your gp.
i also think you might be putting too much pressure on yourself comparing you to others. some strangers seem to be able to have great conversations off the bat, but most don't.

you have good friends in other counties so you are capable of making friends. how is college going otherwise? have you joined any societies?

i always think others are so worried about themselves and absorbed in their lives that they don't notice others too much.

take care

Saipanne

I was just like that, at your age. Painfully shy. Could barely manage social situations. It slowly changed over the years, as I got more confident. I'm sure it will for you, as well.

You're in college? They should have a free counseling service. I did that myself, it did me the world of good.