Encounter with suicide

Cheensbo

Firstly apologies for the long post..

Thought long and hard about writing this out, wondering if it was appropriate, or what, and also if there is any benefit to anyone in the posting of this story, I'm not sure, but I think it has helped me at the very least. I've spoken to a mod and was given an ok. Apologies to anyone who may not like the content below, it is pretty full on.


This is what happened on sunday.


My good friend and myself were out rambling down the local lanes in the 4wd on Sunday, (throwing it into soft spots and messing and what-not) headed down one lane close to my house for a nosey for about 20 minutes,then turned around, came back up the road to head home.

As we were coming up the lane we could see 2 cars in the distance, and 2 people standing out of them.

As we got closer we saw that one of the people was a woman, who upon seeing us started flailing her arms and screaming. And the other, a man, with his back to us, seemed to be just standing looking through the ditch into the field.

Said to my buddy - "what the fcuk is going on here? Is he looking at horses or what?" and, then, as we got close enough, he shouted "he's fucking hanging"

Both of us lept out and legged it up to him, the woman was very distressed and upset and immediately ran off to get help and left us with him.

Now, I've no idea how long he had been there. His feet were on the ground (not sure if they were all along) he may have been supporting himself slightly, but he was, at this point totally blue in the face, his body was limp and he was completely unresponsive. We held him up enough to loosen the rope from the tree, and then were able to take some of the tension from his neck - which was incredibly tight, after what seemed like forever we opened the loop from around his neck and put him in the recovery position on the tailboard of his Hilux which was still idling away beside him.

A local man who was living on the lane (Fire service) arrived up and spoke to the ambulance and rapid response medic on the phone, he took charge of the situation and made sure me and my mate were busy trying to keep the injured guy warm & keep him responsive.

Within probably 2-3 minutes of taking him down he was just about able to tell us his name, his age (22 ), where he was from and that he was cold.

First the rapid response medic arrived and then the ambulance, quickly followed by the man's family. After a few minutes he was taken away in the ambulance, then, we had to answer some basic questions to the gardai, the medic, and many questions to the man's very distressed family members.

At first I didn't have time to take stock of what was actually happening, and wasn't until later that it hit me, and it really got to me. Not at all feeling sorry for myself, but I feel so bad for the poor guy that we found, I mean what could he be going through that he'd make a very quick decision to hop out of his truck, leave it running, make a noose and...

From speaking with his family, it turned out that this was not the first time he'd attempted something like this and there was one remark "sure he'll probably try again next week"

I don't understand much about mental health issues, but I do believe that the stigmas attached to seeking help, as much as they have reduced in recent times, are still prevalent.

The thing that makes me worry the most, is that this lad is a traveller, and, I'm sure most people will be aware that the suicide rate amongst young male travellers is significantly higher than in broader society (which is very high in its own right) It will be so much harder for this lad to reach out and seek help.

His uncle approached me and my friend just before leaving with the ambulance, he asked us a couple of questions and thanked us. I said to him to please try and help the young lad, talk to him, listen to his problems and try help him through them, and that there's no shame in speaking to someone. I just hope it rings through and this young man gets the help he's crying out for...

shuffle65

Tough experience for you too, it's bound to leave you pretty shook up for a while. Well done for helping out, it seems that you have done as much as you can really. It's out of your hands really.

angeldaisy

Please bear in mind your own mental health as well. My oh witnessed a suicide attempt many years ago when he was working and the company sent him for counselling. He only went twice but found it of great benefit.

Rubberchikken

Please look after yourself after this. You handled a very upsetting and sad experience well but keep in mind that you may want to talk with someone about it so if that happens chat to your gp first.

CaraMay

Op that's an awful thing to see but you have to be commended for acting so quickly and saving his life.

Please talk to someone yourself. It must be a hard thing to handle

Odaise Gaelach

I'd just like to say well done to you and your friend. You acted very very well in a very difficult and distressing situation. And you saved someone's life. Make sure you look after yourself and if you feel like you need to talk to someone about it don't hesitate to do so. But you should be proud of yourselves for what you did. Well done.

black & white

Cheensbo, contact the Samaritans 116 123. You may need to talk this through with someone and they are experts in this area.

Bull76

Hi Op,

I've had family members commit and try to commit suicide. You've saved him this time. The only hope is that he does get help and has the support around him to help him get out of the rut he is stuck in.
As for yourself and your friend. Get some help, even if it is to talk to some one once or twice. you'll be surprised how much better you will feel after this. Emotions are weird and the mind is even stranger, but talking and getting help is the first step.
Good luck and you should feel proud in what you've done.

Aye Bosun

OP, as someone who works in the emergency services and deals with suicides on a regular basis, can I advise that you speak to someone about it, doesn't have to be a professional but it would be helpful if it was someone who has experience of this.

I know when I was dealing with my first experience of suicide, unfortunately we could not revive him, I found myself to be grand for the first few weeks, then slowly but surely it started to creep into my mind. I found myself really angry with the person, that they could do that to their family and friends. I'm an intelligent person and I know they was sick and wasn't acting or thinking rationally but this is how my though pattern worked. Lucky for me I had access to peer support and professional support if needed. I found the peer support worked best for me. These things have a tendency of staying with you and if you don't arm yourself with the tools to deal with it now it could have a adverse effect on you in the future, maybe no today, maybe not even next year, but from my experience it always does come back to haunt you.

I'd also like to say fair play to your and friend for helping, you never know how you will deal with a situation like that until you are confronted with it, but by your account you acted with compassion and professionalism and should be commended for that.

ScouseMouse

I have been there. I cut a guy down from a tree. Shook the hell out of me. He was long gone though. I like to think not much bugs me, but I still had to leave the room for ages after, when seeing something like that on tv.

You were lucky, you saved his life. I wasn't. I then got called for the inquest....

I appreciate your shock. The guy may not have an education, and knows he will always struggle. You saved him, well done, you cannot do anything else for him. All you can do is move on. It's down to his family and the authorities now.

You saved that guys life.

Chemical Byrne

Jaysus, that's a terrible thing to stumble upon.
My think thought would be that if this chap is attempting suicide every other week as his family are suggesting, that it is a cry for help rather than genuinely trying to kill himself. Men in particular tend to be more "successful" than women who doing away with themselves.
I hope the lad gets help and gets over whatever is troubling him so badly.

My encounter was just over a year ago. I was working with a few guy doing a utility survey in a slightly disadvantaged area of Cork and we were going house to house. Anyway, while standing at one house working away we saw a late teenaged girl run out into the street in a distressed state. She was screaming "help help daddy's hanging, daddy's hanging" and stuff so the two of us ran up to see what the fuss was. We got into her house and saw her father, late 50s I'd guess, suspended a fw inches off the ground from a bar in a doorframe by an electric flex. The girl was in a very hysterical state. My pal tried to hold him up while I searched for something to cut the flex with. We cut the flex but in the panic he fell back and hit his head quite hard off the tiles. He was very blue and unconscious but had a pulse. When the ambulance arrived he was starting to come to again.
He was taken away and the daughter went with him. We gave our story to the 2 gaurds that turned up. He was a disheveled looking man who I'm guessing has drink or depression issues.
What amazed me most was at about 5pm that evening when we were finishing up for the day and driving down a nearby street who did we pass coming against us on the footpath with a plastic bag full of 6-packs only your man, presumably checked out of hospital and heading home for another evening of drinking.

Cheensbo

Sorry it's taken me so long to get back to this, haven't really known what to say.

Thanks to all for all the replies, kind words and advice.

I've been talking with friends and family about what happened and I feel I'm ok for now, as does my friend, (we've been kinda checking on each other) I will probably speak to someone after the xmas just to make sure that it doesn't creep up on me without knowing.

The worst thing that I've had to deal with is numerous comments of "What did ya cut him down for, I woulda left him there" - It's absolutely infuriating, but I've now got a stock answer that puts these people back in their box.

Thanks again folks,

Happy Christmas & New Year

CaraMay

Who would say something like that to you? What scumbags?!?! Op just blank them and walk away. You did an amazing thing. Well done and happy Christmas