Life is fulfilling

LegacyUser

I'm a twenty four year old woman and I feel like I'm constantly unhappy. I do deal with mild depression, so obviously that's part of it but I also feel like I'm constantly unhappy with my situation and I don't know how to change it.

I have travelled a lot and lived in lots of different places. In some ways I love in it, I've had wonderful experiences, I have friends all over. But now I'm settled in a city I don't like and I'm so lonely, I have no close friends anywhere. I know the drill, I've joined various clubs, and too be honest some days I think I'd cry if I didn't have them to look forward to, but I haven't made any friends from them.

I moved here to be a teacher. I love my job,it's literally the best job in the world and I feel like the training I'm getting is of a very good standard but career has never been important to me and now it's the only good thing in my life. I've only made 3 proper friends on the course and I literally never see them. When we were out on placement for six weeks I say one of them once in that time.

I live with 5 others. Two of them are nice but are busy and have their own lives. The other 3 are quite literally toxic and I can't wait to get away from them. I've looked into moving but it's not really an option. The city I'm in is horrible, I don't feel safe to walk in the dark. I live in a student area so it's noisy and dirty.

I basically only came to England to be near my boyfriend (in Ireland) as before I had been further afield and would have stayed there if it hadn't been for him. Originally the plan was he would join me here in the summer but then that become summer 2016. It wasn't his fault but we both thought two more years of long-distance was too much so broke up. So now I'm stuck here alone, hating everything while everything in his life continues to get better and better; he's got a new girlfriend and a promotion. He was my rock for so long and no he's nothing. He still wants to be friends but I just don't know if I can handle it.

I'm going home tomorrow and in some ways it's exactly what i need, in others I'm dreading it. I'm going to meet up with old friends and feel the distance between us more than ever. I'll argue with my parents, get presents I don't want and be teased about that time I dropped out of college five years ago. Then I'll come back here and proceed to be ridiculously lonely and stressed out of my mind again.

I feel like I should be happy with my life; I'm doing what I've always wanted to do, but I feel like I've had to sacrifice everything to get it and then I mightn't even make it to the end.

Rubberchikken

Enjoy the christmas holiday and then vow to go back to college to train to be the best teacher, to look for different accommodation, some new fruends and to leave your ex bf move on with his new gf and give yourself every opportunity to meet someone new.