Work KK a bit much?

LegacyUser

Hi there,

I am more or less out at work and 100% out in general - I have no problems with my sexuality and am fairly meh about the whole thing. Not an issue for me, not an issue for anyone etc. Anyway, at work today we did our KK and I was given Graham Norton's autobiography. I have never spoken about GN nor have I any interest in him (or in anything relating to TV/ pop culture tbh!!). Now.. to be honest, I feel a bit off by it. I am a little camp but I feel like this was a bit of a dig... I wouldn't be in your face (quiet guy, shy in a way!!) and this was just a bit meh...

What do ye think? Thanks.

Rosser

Tokyo

Without trying to sound condescending, I think that you may be reading a little too much into the gift - I certainly wouldn't see it as a dig at my sexuality. Quite possibly it was a book that the giver had received themselves and wasn't interested in and decided to pass it on as a Kris Kringle gift, nothing more.

mikemac1

I don't think it was a dig. He's widely known and one of the highest paid presenters around. Popular for sure.

+1 to the suggestion someone got this as a gift and passed it on.

porsche boy

Reading way too much into this. I'd say someone just thought you'd enjoy a good read, you then applied sexually of the author to the situation and took offense.

Not everything is about sexuality - he's a big presenter who's pretty funny, so reducing him to his sexuality is a bit unfair isn't it?
Someone could have read it and found it interesting or funny, or be regifting

CaraMay

I would love to get they book. To be honest it's a very generic gift to get - an easy read by a popular Irish celebrity. I would rate it in the same way as a voucher.

Crappyghost

You could be looking at it the wrong way OP. Everybody knows that KK is mostly about the silly presents and the laughs. Put it this way, I have seen;

Red haired people get hair dye,
Bossy managers get whips,
Quiet guys get masturbation kits,
Blonde girls get books for dummies,
A guy who got a girl pregnant from a drunken 1 night stand a box of condoms....

These gifts were all personal digs to each of those people making it funny. Would you have preferred to be given a different present BECAUSE you are gay??

To be fair GN is well respected, intelligent and very funny...... if anything its a complement

LegacyUser

Sorry guys. I laughed it off and was very happy about it at the time (don't want to sound like i'm a stuck in the mud). Sorry if I offended anyone!! And thanks for bringing me back to down earth... Xmas makes me paranoid...

Or I'm just paranoid/ socially anxious anyway

Rosser

LLMMML

I wouldn't be too happy with it myself. Making fun of hair and personality traits is one thing. Sexuality is like race. Theres been so much discrimination that people should be more careful if using it as a source of humour.

Unless you've created an identity around it by joking about your sexuality yourself, making it a topic of humour for others. Then it's pretty much fair game.

I completely disagree that it was nothing to do with his sexuality. There is NO way a straight guy would be given a GN book as a serious present. Only you can know if it was a dig or just a joke they thought you'd appreciate.

Overall I'd let it go as long as you're treated well in general. You'll look churlish getting offended over a jokey gift. But don't feel bad about being annoyed. You're justified in my opinion.

Calhoun

LLMMML wrote: »

I completely disagree that it was nothing to do with his sexuality. There is NO way a straight guy would be given a GN book as a serious present. Only you can know if it was a dig or just a joke they thought you'd appreciate.

That is very closed minded why wouldn't a straight guy get it as a serious present? I am a big fan of his and I am straight and I think it was a really nice gift.

LegacyUser

I would be delighted to get such a nice and entertaining present for KK! Love Graham Norton. I think he is very, very witty and intelligent. My OH (straight male) thinks that he is pretty much the funniest man alive, being from Cork only adds to Graham's brilliance.

I think that you should take it as a great gift OP. Was your present giver from Cork by any chance? They are super proud of Mr Norton there.

dudara

To be honest, I would think it was a deliberate gift - from somebody who didn't have a clue what to get you and then fell back on the only thing they knew about you, that you were gay. I don't think it was meant in a dig/malicious way at all, and to be fair, it's probably a good read.

Crappyghost

Of course, kk gifts are usually intended to get a laugh, often they reflect an attribute/characteristic or quirke of the person in question.

However there is crossing a line... An old colleague of mine happened to get our manager as KK. At the time, our manager had been recovering from a fairly serious car crash....

So, my colleague decided it would be funny to to get a decent sized toy car, smash it up with a hammer and wrap it as KK.

Went down faster than cheap hooker!!! NOBODY was impressed

I don't want to belittle your worries OP, but I'd agree with others here who say not to read into it.

It was either a well meant joke that wasn't funny, or a genuine gift. Personally I wouldn't think anything strange if I got a Graham Norton book, I think he's hilarious and pretty clever, and while he's pretty flamboyant and known to be gay, it's not what he's famous for. If you got a book called "The Gay Handbook" or "Gay Gay Gay", it'd be a different story. I wouldn't look too much into it.

Rubberchikken

It depends on the spirit it was given in.
If colleagues treat you well then its fine, maybe it was given by someone misguided enough to think that all gay men love GN.

LegacyUser

dudara wrote: »

To be honest, I would think it was a deliberate gift - from somebody who didn't have a clue what to get you and then fell back on the only thing they knew about you, that you were gay.

I agree.

We did our KK and the best presents were those which were personally selected, it shows the person cared enough to think of you as an individual and went out of their way to get you a personal present. Of course you can twist this into saying they went out of their way to hurt you but this present screams the former rather than the later, it is a generic mild honoured book.
Depends on your own outlook how you look on this, which you have already indicated is to be paranoid. I know a few gay men who would get a kick out of a present like that.

You could also read into this another way; you project such a sense of comfortability in your sexuality that a colleague was comfortable getting you such a present. You reaction to laugh was also good. In my KK giving i felt good and slapped myself on the back when my KK gasped and oohed at my gift to her. I imagine your KK felt likewise.

On a wider note i would say that being comfortable in yourself is in part a choice, whenever negative thoughts such as these enter your mind, banish them and you'll feel better for it.

Tranceypoo

I'm a straight woman and I bought the GN book at the airport last month, it's a cracking read, v funny, give it a go!!

bjork

Maybe he just chose it because Graham Norton is a top presenter with a interesting story. As well as being gay he also lived in a hippy commune and is a tv star. Perhaps he also thought you are a hippy and that is why would like it?

I think your reading are too much in to it. I would have picked this as a genuine gift and not even considered the person might take it as a dig at them being gay.

I got this book for my birthday. My first conclusion (or my last conclusion) wasn't that it was a insult

Shrap

I was offended on behalf of the poor woman who got hair dye because she's a red-head, that some previous poster mentioned in a list of inappropriate presents. Then someone else said that getting hair dye is not as offensive as getting something that highlights (without suggesting that you change) your sexuality, as that's more like racism.....

I beg to differ! As a red-head, the amount of abuse dished out to "gingers" by all and sundry in life/media is pretty overwhelming at times, especially for teens. I would liken the gift of hair-dye for a red-head to giving someone gay a book on how to stop looking so gay, tbh. Which the Graham Norton book clearly is not doing.

Mind you, the blondes don't have it easy either

Saralee4

once my dad bought me the Suggs autobiography. Im a fan of music but I never showed any interest in Suggs or UB40. wtf.

I was actually quite upset. I was thinking, does this man know me or what?

Anyway it turns out it was just something he picked up on sale.

I think people don't know what to buy especially for those kk things where you can only spend a certain amount and its a work friend you know.

Also I think people just pick up books for people from those offer stands without really thinking. He probably got 3 books for the price of 2 and just gave that one to you.

me0w

It does sound like a sly dig. Who cares? You know who you are and that's all that matters.

Neyite

Ophereaposd wrote: »

Sorry guys. I laughed it off and was very happy about it at the time (don't want to sound like i'm a stuck in the mud). Sorry if I offended anyone!! And thanks for bringing me back to down earth... Xmas makes me paranoid...

Or I'm just paranoid/ socially anxious anyway

Rosser

Mod:
Glad it was resolved for you OP, I'll close this now.