Dealing with family problems and vivid nightmares.

XIII

Okay best to start from the beginning. A few months back my dad was diagnosed with Cannabis Psychosis which as most of you may know is a mental illness. It's based around paranoia and is usually found in people who've smoked large quantities of weed throughout their life, as of late he's been doing alright he's cut down on his drinking and hasn't touched weed in months (before anyone asks no he doesn't abuse me in any way, shape or form) but it seems that he and my mother have been arguing a lot more. They stopped having these fights back in the early 2000's.

I guess I also should mention that I'm 19 but I also suffer with ASD (Autistic Spectrum Disorder) and anxiety. For a kid like me constantly thinking about if they're going to fight, when they are and how bad it will be is racking my brain, it's even got to the point that I want to move out. But it's also been giving me these extremely vivid dreams.

With my ASD and anxiety I always think the worst things are going to happen and in these dreams I hear a scream while in my room, run out to see what's going on and find out that my dad's snapped and killed my mom. I've had these dreams about three different times now up until the point where I'll be sat in my bedroom for hours constantly thinking that I'm gonna hear my dad start to kill my mom.

I dunno what to do. He's fine it's just killing me inside knowing that my dad is sick and there's nothing I can do to help him, and the dreams are just making me paranoid, I'm failing at college and even walking out without giving notice because I'm afraid that something's happened. Does anyone out there have any advice? Any at all? I'll even take comforting words at this point, thanks.

XIII

Littlekittylou

XIII wrote: »

Okay best to start from the beginning. A few months back my dad was diagnosed with Cannabis Psychosis which as most of you may know is a mental illness. It's based around paranoia and is usually found in people who've smoked large quantities of weed throughout their life, as of late he's been doing alright he's cut down on his drinking and hasn't touched weed in months (before anyone asks no he doesn't abuse me in any way, shape or form) but it seems that he and my mother have been arguing a lot more. They stopped having these fights back in the early 2000's.

I guess I also should mention that I'm 19 but I also suffer with ASD (Autistic Spectrum Disorder) and anxiety. For a kid like me constantly thinking about if they're going to fight, when they are and how bad it will be is racking my brain, it's even got to the point that I want to move out. But it's also been giving me these extremely vivid dreams.

With my ASD and anxiety I always think the worst things are going to happen and in these dreams I hear a scream while in my room, run out to see what's going on and find out that my dad's snapped and killed my mom. I've had these dreams about three different times now up until the point where I'll be sat in my bedroom for hours constantly thinking that I'm gonna hear my dad start to kill my mom.

I dunno what to do. He's fine it's just killing me inside knowing that my dad is sick and there's nothing I can do to help him, and the dreams are just making me paranoid, I'm failing at college and even walking out without giving notice because I'm afraid that something's happened. Does anyone out there have any advice? Any at all? I'll even take comforting words at this point, thanks.

XIII

Talk to your parents about it. And perhaps ask people at college to help you.

Also I would strongly recommend you see your GP as a first port of call.No diagnostic label can tell you exactly what you need finding treatment that addresses your needs it what is important.

I am not going to throw out a bunch of therapies. Your GP can do that better. Anxiety is a real difficulty for many adults with ASD and many without it too. I just saw a famous rugby player talking about it on TV.

And you are in a difficult situation and perhaps your parents own problems are not letting them help you and are in fact hindering you. I would think that in a gradual or roundabout way they need to realize or be told this.

It's not odd to be anxious in an environment like the one you are in it sounds very challenging and hard going. It's not wonder you are stressed and anxious. Anyone would be.


Your Dad's illness means his mind is not completely in touch with reality. cannabis alone is not believed to cause psychosis it may be a contributory factor, particularly when combined with an existing susceptibility. SO it is important to realize your father has to do more than simply quit to deal with this. He needs some help.

There are positive symptoms. (which reflect a change and include Delusions Hallucinations eelings of paranoia and suspiciousness Disorganized thinking and speaking.

And there are negative symptoms which reflect a decrease or loss of "normal" functions Difficulties expressing emotion or difficulty even feeling emotions.Loss of or decreased talking Loss of or decreased in ability to take initiate or come up with new ideas.

As far as I know Cannabis only produces psychosis in vulnerable individuals or those with a propensity for it.

long term cannabis use "increases the risk of psychosis in people with certain genetic or environmental vulnerabilities", but does not cause psychosis. Important predisposing factors include genetic liability, childhood trauma and urban upbringing

It is VERY VERY rare for people to actually become violent. But I understand communication with your Dad might be difficult. But it could be the behaviors that are causing you to have these fears rather than you actually thinking its going to happen.

ABajaninCork

Oh boy. I really feel for you OP. I have a close relative who has serious mental problems exacerbated by heavy weed smoking. Unfortunately, my relative DOES the capacity for extreme violence when unwell.

All you can do is look after yourself as best you can. I assume your father is under the care of professionals, so there's nothing you can do for the moment. But you can do stuff to help you. Start by talking to your Mum about how you feel. I say talk to your mother as your father is still in recovery, and needs to concentrate on that for now.

Talk to your GP. They might be able to adjust your meds if you're on them.

Do you have a college counsellor? I'd have a chat with them too. Tell them what is happening. They might be able to talk to your course tutor and allow you some time to get yourself together.

Good luck! Hope it works out.

XIII

It's been a while since I posted on here, a few people read and replied to my other topic. I thought I'd just give you all a status update.

Things haven't really been going much better but some things have improved. My dad is still battling with his mental health issues and things have been ricocheting back and forth between bad and good days. The best part about all of this is that my nightmares have stopped.

But as far as things in the house have been there's not really a lot of progress. It seems like there are these gaps between dates where my dad will go from being totally fine and upbeat to depressed and snappy, like tonight for example. Everything was fine up until about eleven o'clock but then I noticed that my mom hadn't come up to bed yet. (I should probably mention to those who haven't read my last post that I'm a nineteen soon to be twenty year old with ASD).

For her it was pretty unregular but I thought nothing of it and decided to carry on listening to my music. It was about quarter past twelve when I took them off and heard them arguing again, albeit quietly but I could still tell that they were at each others throats. I decided to try and calm myself down a little with the regular breathing exercises but that all stopped when I heard my mom say she was thinking about moving out with me for a while.

Now you have to understand that I love them both dearly and my condition may not be the easiest to handle but the thought of moving away is killing me. In the early goings of December I woke up for my last day of college before the Christmas breaks and heard that my mom was crying. When I asked her after getting up she told me that dad had said that he was going to kill himself and that she was worried he'd done it in the middle of the night.

You can imagine the impact that had on me at college, barely spoke, snapped at a few people and did little to no work. Needless to say that the intervention they gave him back then was needed but now it just seems to be one stressful thought after another.

Now I'm left with two options. Guys do I move out or just stick it out and hope for the best?

Faith

Can you link to your previous thread so we know the background?

Big Bag of Chips

Your mam knows more about your dad's condition and the problems it causes than you do. She would try to shield you from a lot of it. I think you should trust your mam to do what's best for both you and her.

Talk to her.

Taltos

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