No friends, that I can ask to help me with a course requirement

LegacyUser

Basically,
Im doing a course distance learning, in one set of the assignments is a communications module, in this there are tasks that require interviewing people for sections of the assignment, in a nutshell, I dont know anyone, I barely have any acquaintances, some of the few friends I had have emigrated, the very few remaining people I know are distant acquaintances (and I use that very loosely) and are people I see very rarely, and would have no interest in something like this. Some of the assignments are in the form of video documenting of the assignment, I could probably get a camcorder somewhere, but people to interview?

How do I go about getting someone involved in this?? is there some group here on boards or elsewhere I might be able to approach?
This may not seem like a typical PI thread.

Despite being an amiable and helpful person, my friends have dwindled to nothing, I used to know loads of people and I thought had quite a few friends, Ive moved jobs in the past, had medical problems, but over time Ive found I don't have friends, or that when a few friends I knew emigrated, I realised I was in a certain circle only because of those people and when they left I was out.

Ive more or less come to terms with my own friendlessness although it gets to me at times and I feel down about it. Despite what I see as my difficulty, I have tried to join a few clubs, Im a quiet type of person and if I try too hard it can come across wrong, when I try get along in my own way, this is also interpreted badly it seems, I have felt Ive come under the target of bullying sorts in places, but my quietness isnt timidity, I wont stand for bullies. I actually feel like I have only two settings, normally quiet or full on. I am often concerned of being confronted by these types of people, because I am concerned I may end up in trouble for dealing with them in the same way I am dealt with.

Id considered writing this in PI before about not having friends and where to make friends, Ive read of circumstances that guys my age had lost their friends over time and it seems difficult to make new friends or to break into existing groups.
These days I dont socialise, bar some family gatherings of my wifes, where I also feel on the perimeter, even she uses it against me in arguments, that I have no friends, that itself is the most hurtful, she doesnt realise she had a bigger connection with people for a different reason.
Ive more or less accepted things myself, but I have found it rears its ugly head in situations like this where it is assumed everyone can call on someone that would be willing to help. It si difficult to not feel ashamed of this, but I feel I just struggle on.

I dont hope to solve my bigger problem, but is there anywhere I can go? some resource I can call on where someone may be in a situation that I can get somebody to enable me to complete this part of my course? someone that might be doing coursework where I wouldnt necessarily have to reveal this information to get help.
Ive tried the course provider but as of yet I havent been answered yet.

shalalala

Have you tried meet up.com OP? Great place to meet new people

Oryx

If you are brave about it, you should not have a problem finding a group to interview. I dont know if it has to be from a particular demographic, but if I were stuck in a situation like that, I would start cold calling groups like sports clubs, old folks groups, voluntary groups, staff in your local store, anywhere you have a group of people you can access without making too much of a nuisance of yourself. Asking costs nothing and the worst that can happen is they say no.

That issue is easily solved, and is separate from the bigger problem of your overall isolation. That will take work to fix, and it may be scary, but you need to get out of your comfort zone. Do things that you wouldnt normally, things that are daunting (like the cold calling above). The easiest way to get involved is to volunteer for a charity or to join a sport, as you instantly have a reason to be there and a common interest with those in the group.

LegacyUser

shalalala wrote: »

Have you tried meet up.com OP? Great place to meet new people

I have heard of it, I should look into it. I often have felt out of place in social settings, Id considered even going to boards meetups but always steered myself away, maybe because I may have been too outspoken as a boards member.
Im not sure if meetup will solve my immediate concern on the course, but I'll look it up.
In my previous attempts at clubs and the like, I found I didnt fit in, either being too old or too young and probably too quiet, worse is being new and trying to find your way among the existing people. I havent always found having a common interest means people will be willing to be friends or even friendly or maybe in other circumstances they already have their set friends and their quota is full for new members in a manner of speaking.

I dont think Im alone in this not having or maybe having lost friends and being too far from people I have known. Im actually quite concerned I have no mates to rely on and that it will be very difficult to break into any group even in something like meetup.com, I will follow it up.

How do you start?
so X, what are your reasons for joining meetup?
what do you say?

LegacyUser

Oryx wrote: »

If you are brave about it, you should not have a problem finding a group to interview. I dont know if it has to be from a particular demographic, but if I were stuck in a situation like that, I would start cold calling groups like sports clubs, old folks groups, voluntary groups, staff in your local store, anywhere you have a group of people you can access without making too much of a nuisance of yourself. Asking costs nothing and the worst that can happen is they say no.

That issue is easily solved, and is separate from the bigger problem of your overall isolation. That will take work to fix, and it may be scary, but you need to get out of your comfort zone. Do things that you wouldnt normally, things that are daunting (like the cold calling above). The easiest way to get involved is to volunteer for a charity or to join a sport, as you instantly have a reason to be there and a common interest with those in the group.

I cant do mutiquote so replying to each in turn.

Its not braveness, Ive no real concern asking people, just getting willing volunteers that are actually able to assist, without thinking Im a nut, I feel I've gotten that response at times when asking for assistance. There isnt a point in me asking down the local convenience store.
Im just not sure who or what group to look for to get immediate numbers to aid in my assignment. I can understand myself that people dont have the time to help others, I dont have much spare time myself, I did some volunteering in the past, but with a young child, cannot allocate anything as that means I need to get some kind of carer. I understand you get what you give and all that, but, Im looking for a specific thing, maybe too specific?

Ive joined a club and Ive done this a few times with different sports, I havent found this helps. Ive considered rejoining one in particular but its time consuming and money is tight.
I know I need to get out there, somewhere, just not sure where to start to aid me with my coursework, as in I have no one to rely on for that, it made things dawn on me now, that I have no one to rely on fullstop, this happens from time to time, the realisation of no friends.

I appreciate the replies.

shalalala

feellikenobodyattimes wrote: »

I have heard of it, I should look into it. I often have felt out of place in social settings, Id considered even going to boards meetups but always steered myself away, maybe because I may have been too outspoken as a boards member.
Im not sure if meetup will solve my immediate concern on the course, but I'll look it up.
In my previous attempts at clubs and the like, I found I didnt fit in, either being too old or too young and probably too quiet, worse is being new and trying to find your way among the existing people. I havent always found having a common interest means people will be willing to be friends or even friendly or maybe in other circumstances they already have their set friends and their quota is full for new members in a manner of speaking.

I dont think Im alone in this not having or maybe having lost friends and being too far from people I have known. Im actually quite concerned I have no mates to rely on and that it will be very difficult to break into any group even in something like meetup.com, I will follow it up.

How do you start?
so X, what are your reasons for joining meetup?
what do you say?

No it probably wont solve the immediate problem, but will help you in the long term.

Thing is, everyone is there for the same reason. If someone asks you, you say "my friends have all emigrated and I want to meet new people", or "I found myself going to the cinema/meals etc. Alone and I wanted to meet people to go with". You will find that most people are there for the same reason so you bond over that.

I wouldn't be conceded about the age thing, I am 26, one of my best friends is in her 40s and we met on meet up.

You sign up to the website, join a few groups and push yourself into a situation that is really uncomfortable for the first time. But, honestly, once you go to one it will get easier! Choose a smaller group to go out with first you can get a bit lost if it is a huge crowd.