Wasting my life on the computer

LegacyUser

So this is a big problem for me and has been for the last 10 years or so. I feel as if i'm wasting my life away on the computer. I'm 25 and I can't remember the last time I even had a girl in my social circle.

In college, I tended not to go to in. Lecture notes were available online so I just stayed at home 80% of the time and never met anyone new. I work on a computer and every day when I come home from work I go straight on the computer to browse the internet or watch a TV show. The odd time I'll practise guitar, but even that is done in front of my computer. It's a sad and pathetic way to live.

I'll see a friend sometimes at the weekend but this would be at night time, after a day spent pretty much on the computer. The annoying thing is, if I push myself to think of other things to do - there's nothing. I despise cold weather so going outside isn't really something that appeals to me at this time of year. I'm very unhappy in myself so even if I force myself into situations with new people, the chances of getting on with anyone is slim in my current frame of mind. I'm skinny with barely any muscle and would love an aesthetically pleasing body but I don't have the motivation for the gym - I always give up after about 2 weeks.

I feel like such a loser to be honest. Like the only people that give a sh*t or even realize I exist are my family and my one friend. Even in work I just don't push myself to talk to people because I think all the time spent on the computer has made me anti-social. I'm still really shy. I feel irritable all the time and even at home I barely open up to family, tend to just give one word answers. At 25, I've no idea how I'll grow out of this and ive no idea what advice i'm looking for. I guess I just needed to get it off my chest.

LegacyUser

I don't think you should focus too much on being online, but rather on amending your social anxiety. Sounds like the symptom rather than the disease. try and find a counsellor that you're comfortable with, I found counselling helpful in the past in dealing with these issues. That should make it easier to get out of your confort zone and meet new people in the medium term. And above all be kinder on yourself, you're FAR from alone in having these issues.

Minderbinder

This is like having an aa meeting down the pub...

Only you can fix this problem. We can tell you all the cliches about getting out of your comfort zone and meeting new people but it's entirely up to YOU.

John_D80

Minderbinder wrote: »

This is like having an aa meeting down the pub...

Only you can fix this problem. We can tell you all the cliches about getting out of your comfort zone and meeting new people but it's entirely up to YOU.

Ironically this 'advice' is cliches from start to finish.

OP, I would definitely try and focus on some form of physical activity to get yourself outdoors and away from your online life. Is there any parks or forest walks near you where you can get out for some fresh air at least?? I understand you despise cold weather but that's unavoidable in this country unfortunately even in the height of summer sometimes. You'll have to just bite the bullet on that one.

You don't need to go to a gym to look fit or get toned. But you do have to put in some work and some time. Start off walking and gradually build up to running. This can be done somewhere secluded if you feel self conscious starting out. Do 20 press-ups and sit ups every morning and evening, gradually increasing this as you get fitter and stronger. I personally despise gyms for their monotony but many of them run really good classes like spinning, Pilates, yoga etc. All of which are great for meeting and interacting with new people.

Meeting new people when you're in your 20's is tough, but taking positive steps to improve your physical well being does dramatically improve your general outlook and even your whole demeanour as seen by others.

You're in a rut. Happens to plenty people but the desire to get out of it is there so take the first step. It's the hardest one.

Minderbinder

John_D80 wrote: »

Ironically this 'advice' is cliches from start to finish.

haha as opposed to your inspired originality.

LegacyUser

I'm like the above, except I'm in my forties. The saving factor for me was the internet was in its infancy when I was at college.

After a while this behaviour takes a physical toll. I have a tilted pelvis from the sitting, sky high cholesterol and terrible flexibility. Mind problem s can also be an issue.

You really need to exercise in the same way you need to eat. Or die young with health problems.

I force myself out to exercise and try to reverse the damage.