My gambling story and the nightmare its become

b5240

it feels as if ive almost made a step to recovery today , .i have closed 2 of my casino accounts on a permanent self exclusion, and i also closed a sports betting account on a self exclusion.
Nobody knows of my addiction, friends family etc, and to be honest ive found it hard to come to terms with the fact that i may have an addiction. I set up a page on boards to share my story as i believe talking about it may help me and help others. It started 3 years ago and it gradually has gotten worse. i thought i could control it at first and i could for a while but not anymore,. I dont earn alot of money at my job , but for the past year ive almost gambled away my wages every weekend. right now i have nothing. i earned 600euro in a wage on friday and now its totally gone,.this has been the same routine for as long as i can remember.. football betting, casino,poker ,roulette., my local bookies. when i think of the money ive spent and wasted it makes me sick. my problem is i cant stop. last weekend i won 800euro on poker, i re gambled it all down to nothing , this weekend gone i won another 500 and did the exact same.im afraid if i dont stop now, i never will. im marking today monday the 8th of december as my first day on the road to total exclusion from gambling , .im still in my 20's so im still able to turn this mess around with time,. alot of crazy thoughts have gone through my mind the last few weeks and months, and depression has really set in at times. but im confident i can come through this. whats crazy is that 4 years ago i hated gambling,.i laughed at people who spent days in the bookies betting on dogs and horses and now that person is me. im broke from now until pay day with half a tank of diesel left in my car and thats it. thats me . ive locked all my gambling accounts on permanent locks and ive erased any distractions that could tempt me to gamble. i will keep this thread updated and id like to hear from anyone who is in a similar situation or who has previously gone through this..thanks

b5240

Day 2 : woke up today feeling alot better about things. I have a bit of cash in the wallet but I won't be tempted to hit the bookies. Reading the news paper an seeing tonight's champions league games on made me think of doing an accumulator, but I'm going to hold out. I know slip ups will happen but I'm going to be as strong as I can.

b5240

Had a slip up. I feel like **** right now. I'd rather be totally broke all the time, that would mean I'd stay away from the bookies. Why the fuk did I ever start gambling. My life was so much better without it

NabyLadistheman

Well done pal, you can do it. Need to keep busy with other stuff. I wish you the best

Baron Kurtz

b5240 wrote: »

Had a slip up. I feel like **** right now. I'd rather be totally broke all the time, that would mean I'd stay away from the bookies. Why the fuk did I ever start gambling. My life was so much better without it

Don't mean to be harsh, but you didn't even last a full day. I know you gotta start somewhere, so try to give the Internet a rest for at least a day or two. Pick up a book, find another hobby. Now.

You might need to consider speaking with a professional as my advice is offered solely as a suggestion for some brief respite from gambling and thinking about everything related to it.

Good luck.

TrueDub

You need to get professional help - start with your nearest meeting of Gamblers Anonymous.

Good luck.

frat

If your talking about depression I think you should talk to your family/friends - it's a serious illness and posting here is at least a start, but the next step is to tell someone close to you that will provide you with the support you need. A problem shared and all that.

Best of luck, but the previous poster is right, need to completely take yourself away from temptation if you can't last a day - probably being on a gambling forum isn't helping either.

You'll be surprised how supportive your family/friends can be.

wicklowdub

Be honest with your family and go to GA, go everyday for a few weeks. Depending on where you live there are loads of meetings you can get too. You're not alone and there are people who will help you but it has to start with you.

fsfg

b5240 wrote: »

it feels as if ive almost made a step to recovery today , .i have closed 2 of my casino accounts on a permanent self exclusion, and i also closed a sports betting account on a self exclusion.
Nobody knows of my addiction, friends family etc, and to be honest ive found it hard to come to terms with the fact that i may have an addiction. I set up a page on boards to share my story as i believe talking about it may help me and help others. It started 3 years ago and it gradually has gotten worse. i thought i could control it at first and i could for a while but not anymore,. I dont earn alot of money at my job , but for the past year ive almost gambled away my wages every weekend. right now i have nothing. i earned 600euro in a wage on friday and now its totally gone,.this has been the same routine for as long as i can remember.. football betting, casino,poker ,roulette., my local bookies. when i think of the money ive spent and wasted it makes me sick. my problem is i cant stop. last weekend i won 800euro on poker, i re gambled it all down to nothing , this weekend gone i won another 500 and did the exact same.im afraid if i dont stop now, i never will. im marking today monday the 8th of december as my first day on the road to total exclusion from gambling , .im still in my 20's so im still able to turn this mess around with time,. alot of crazy thoughts have gone through my mind the last few weeks and months, and depression has really set in at times. but im confident i can come through this. whats crazy is that 4 years ago i hated gambling,.i laughed at people who spent days in the bookies betting on dogs and horses and now that person is me. im broke from now until pay day with half a tank of diesel left in my car and thats it. thats me . ive locked all my gambling accounts on permanent locks and ive erased any distractions that could tempt me to gamble. i will keep this thread updated and id like to hear from anyone who is in a similar situation or who has previously gone through

How long are you in your current job?

roundandround

It's a start. But to really feel a difference, as others have already advised, you need professional help. Don't be afraid to take the next step. If you know that you need to stop but still can't it could spiral intro a very negative chain of events.

ManagerXI

You need to be aware of all the resources that are available to you and a good start is the info on gambleaware(.)co(.)uk

Like you have pointed out, if you don't have cash in your pocket you can't spend it in the bookies. Do you have a trusted family member who has a spare bank account you can transfer some of your wages into but obviously you can't withdraw without them doing it for you? After a year or two of this you should be able to trust yourself again with your own money management.

Good Luck.

bluemartin

b5240 wrote: »

I dont earn alot of money at my job , but for the past year ive almost gambled away my wages every weekend. right now i have nothing. i earned 600euro in a wage on friday and now its totally gone,

€600 is alot of money, alot more than others earn. It could be spend on other more enjoyable things rather than giving it to the betting industry. Don't beat yourself up, get help, you have already taken the first step by admitting to yourself that you have a problem and that's half the battle. Others have overcome this addiction and if you are determined and motivated you will also overcome it.

braddun

go to aa meeting

TrueDub

OK, the OP has received a lot of good advice, but unless he/she has more to add, I think this thread is done.

OP, if you wish to post again in this thread, please PM me & I'll re-open it.