Should I go to Australia for a while??

m1ck007

Ok, so i have an oppurtunity to buy a house with my girlfriend. On the otherhand i feel like if i dont go and see some of the world when im still young i will regret it for the rest of my life. Ive been thinking of australia. I know my girlfriend wont come with me but i really love her and she is a lovely girl. Im really torn between the two.

Buona Fortuna

Wow Mick. That's a bit like the judgement of Solomen from two lines of text.

Some things to consider rather than answer:

• How is the work situation for you and your girl?
• Do you work in something that you could pick up fairly easily if/when you come back?
• She won't go to Oz, would she go with you if you picked another country?
• Would moving abroad advance your career at all?
• How much do you love her? If you don't go and settle down with her, is it something you'll resent later on?

I wish you all the very best. Its a difficult decision

m1ck007

Buona Fortuna wrote: »

Wow Mick. That's a bit like the judgement of Solomen from two lines of text.

Some things to consider rather than answer:

• How is the work situation for you and your girl?
• Do you work in something that you could pick up fairly easily if/when you come back?
• She won't go to Oz, would she go with you if you picked another country?
• Would moving abroad advance your career at all?
• How much do you love her? If you don't go and settle down with her, is it something you'll resent later on?

I wish you all the very best. Its a difficult decision

Well were both in stable jobs (im an accountant). If i went to oz i think i would be able to get a job and get some experience that i could take home with me. The thing is i know if i dont go i will regret it for the rest of my life but if i do go i may also regret loosing her. Im really stuck in a jam.

Buona Fortuna

Hummmmmmmmmmm

Have you spoken to your girl about this?

If you decide to go, is it for a definite period or is it "lets see where this goes"?

If its say for a year, is it possible that you still stay attached, and keep in touch as best you can with e-mails and skype and maybe she has a holiday over there for a month or so, down the line?

Sorry but I don't think I'm much help. I think you need to talk it through with her.

Kidchameleon

You can always do a bit of traveling later in life

Honey Monster

If your thinking now that you should see a bit of the world you'll be thinking the same thing in 10 years...

m1ck007

I think i need to go away and find myself, before settling down with mortgage and family etc. I will have regrets whatever i decide to do. I wish some one could decide for me.

Stavro Mueller

Does you going to Oz for a year mean you have to split up with your girlfriend?

LegacyUser

I was in a similar situation as you. Only I didn't have work here at the time. I thought I was the type that doesn't really settle down. I left for oz regretted every minute of it and come back home to my girlfriend. Tail in legs. We are still together today. If you think she is who you want to be with the rest of your days! Stay! If not go!!

nc19

m1ck007 wrote: »

I think i need to go away and find myself, before settling down with mortgage and family etc. I will have regrets whatever i decide to do. I wish some one could decide for me.

If you dont go I would suspect by the time the first baby you have together is a few months old and you are exhausted and at each other's throats your decision to not go will destroy your relationship.


GO!

If she loves you she will either go with you or wait for you. If not then it was meant to be that way.

Minderbinder

going to australia is not a cultural experience. i think you're basically looking to escape your family and friends for a while, which is a fairly natural desire. if you loved this girl the thought of leaving her wouldn't even enter your head. so yeah, you should probably go and 'find yourself'.

Oink

Sounds to me like whatever you do, maybe you're not ready to buy a house with her.

m1ck007

Thanks for all your replys guys.

seamusk84

Definitely go, you will regret it for years otherwise.
Think about it like this: the chances are that in five years time you will have settled down with a partner and mortgage anyway. So why not now go and have some new life experiences while the opportunity exists? You are only Young once.

Sure your partner will be upset, but you gotta do what you gotta do!

pookie82

m1ck007 wrote: »

Ok, so i have an oppurtunity to buy a house with my girlfriend. On the otherhand i feel like if i dont go and see some of the world when im still young i will regret it for the rest of my life. Ive been thinking of australia. I know my girlfriend wont come with me but i really love her and she is a lovely girl. Im really torn between the two.

How are you so sure she won't go? Have you discussed it with her? Has she flat out refused? There's also the possibility of long distance but to be honest you'd be asking an awful lot of her, expecting her to wait here, largely alone for a year or more with barely a couple of visits if money and holiday leave allowed.

I don't understand the pull towards Australia as such. Is there something/one out there that you want to get out to? If you're just looking for a change of scene pretty much anywhere else on the globe would be more convenient for visits home or keeping a relationship here going. You might as well head to another planet if you're going as far as Australia, believe me as someone who knows - you're rarely even in the same DAY as the person you're trying to keep in touch with here, let alone the same waking hours. It's definitely doable, but only if both people are 100% committed and, I think, if there's an end point in sight.

I don't agree with those saying you mustn't love her if you're thinking of heading off. Who you love and what you want from life can often be at odds with each other and that doesn't make either desire less valid.

If you haven't sat her down and really talked this through with her there's little point in taking our advice. You need to know where she stands on the possibility of following you if you settle, or doing LD from here. Definitely doesn't sound like you're ready to buy a house yet though.

lukesmom

Sounds like in your heart you really want to go to Australia. If your gf doesn't go with you then maybe it's just not meant to be.

pookie82

seamusk84 wrote: »

Definitely go, you will regret it for years otherwise.
Think about it like this: the chances are that in five years time you will have settled down with a partner and mortgage anyway. So why not now go and have some new life experiences while the opportunity exists? You are only Young once.

Sure your partner will be upset, but you gotta do what you gotta do!

I get the sentiment expressed here but unless the OP is very young (and I'm assuming he isn't) it's a bit fickle to assume he can let this girl go and just more than likely "find another" to settle with in 5 years' time when he's ready. In my experience finding love and a life partner doesn't really work that simply.

pookie82

Sorry for the multiple posts, OP, I would add one more thing that might help you decide, if indeed your gf has vetoed completely the idea of staying together while you go...

I think you need to ask yourself if you go out there and land a great job and have a nice life, can you see yourself being happy without her in it? Can you see yourself meeting someone else down the line who you'd love just as much?

If you think that's a possibility, you should do it. But if you come to the conclusion that no matter what your lifestyle out there, life won't be as good without her in it, you have your answer.

cookiexx

how do you know for sure she wouldn't come with you? Could you bring it up as a "I think we should see some of the world before we settle" kind of thing?

And if not, could you make your own plans and make plans for her to come and visit you and maybe do your own travelling together down there and around Asia etc?