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Problem with friend

  • 07-12-2014 1:30am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭


    Is it wrong of me to try to distance myself from someone who I've been friends with since I was 7. He was always fairly into his drugs, but since he got his own place at college he's turned into a proper druggie. Doing proper hard stuff now, not just weed and pills. Few times i've gotten messages off him high saying im a dry****e etc, sometimes in a joking manner, sometimes not. I don't do any drugs, and I don't get drunk but drink. We were very good friends, and live in the same village, my folks know his. His parents are pretty anti drug and know nothing of his habits in college. Whenever he'd be home he'd ring me asking me to come to his, or some sort of meetup, and iv been "busy" the 6/7 times he's rung me since May/June when i found out some of the stuff he does.

    I'm not anti drug, I'm for the legalisation of cannabis, but I just can't look at him the same. I really don't want to be associated with him anymore, some of my other friends who take recreational drugs don't pass any heed on it. I've never proper ignored him, but the last time i rang or messaged him was May/June, any time we'd talk it'd be him starting it. A month ago he realised that i was annoyed at him, but doesn't know why, mutual friends have told me so.

    I'm sort of at a crossroads now, I need to either tell him I have a problem with him and move on, or try to forget it and continue to be friends. I just can't choose which one


Comments

  • #2
    blatantrereg
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,743 ✭✭✭blatantrereg


    People are on different wavelengths when they're intoxicated with different substances. This can make socialising/communicating unsatisfactory.

    You could tell him you have a problem with it without terminating the friendship. Instead of making an excuse of being busy say it's just not fun hanging out with him when he's always intoxicated.

    Substance abuse can be related to pain or psychiatric issues, it's not always just indulgence. If that seems likely you could try to offer support etc.


  • #3
    tinkerbell
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,423 ✭✭✭tinkerbell


    OP, people can change and friendships end. You're at a point now where you and this friend no longer have anything in common because of his use of hard drugs. I'd just distance myself from him tbh, no need to have a chat about it, just be unavailable and the friendship will fizzle out by itself. There's no reason hanging onto a friendship just for the sake of it since you've been friends from the age of 7 - your friend has changed dramatically.


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