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Irrational dislike towards boyfriend's ex-girlfriend

  • 06-12-2014 4:22pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I have a problem that's making me really question myself about the kind of person I am. I have an irrational hatred of my boyfriend's ex girlfriend. I know ex's may be a sore spot in every relationship but I feel that my feelings towards my bf's ex are very over the top and downright nasty. I don't even know this girl, I've met her once or twice when she was going out with my bf before. I'd also like to point out my relationship with my bf is very good, and I feel loved by him. I know he has no feelings for this ex either and he was very unhappy in their relationship, leading to him breaking it off.

    However I've found myself stalking her facebook to see what she's up to and comparing her life with mine. If I see anything that makes it look like she's having a good time or enjoying life it makes me feel so bitter and unhappy. Its actually like I want this girl to be unhappy even though she's done nothing to me. When I think of her being being unhappy after herself and my bf broke up it makes me feel better.

    I know I'm going to get some not nice responses and this whole thing makes me feel horrible. I'm not usually a bitter, spiteful person, so this is very unusual for me. I was just wondering if anyone else has experienced this sort of thing and how they dealt with it?


Comments

  • #2
    strobe
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,872 ✭✭✭strobe


    Just stop looking at her Facebook? It sounds like that's the only 'contact' you have with her? Stop feeding your obsession.


  • #3
    Gongoozler
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,263 ✭✭✭Gongoozler


    Is it that she was not so nice to him, that's why he broke up with her, and you're feeling a bit bitter on his behalf? What you're saying you feel sounds common for what someone in his position might feel/do.

    Or.... Are you sure you're not feeling insecure over the fact that he liked her at some point?


  • #4
    CaraMay
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 4,652 ✭✭✭CaraMay


    Exes aren't a sore spot in every relationship once people are secure in they relationship. Whether you like to think it or not, you are not as safe / content in the relationship as you could be. If you were you wouldn't give a joy about her nevermind be internet stalking her,


  • #5
    wirelessdude01
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,429 ✭✭✭wirelessdude01


    Sounds to me like your very insecure in this current 'relationship'. If your not careful this will start to manifest itself in your relationship and start to cause problems/issues where there are none. Whatever happened b=previously to your boyfriend is nothing to do with you so just step back and stop using facebook to stalk her. Remember facebook is sweetness and light and generally creates quite a false public personna of how someone actually is.


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