i was physically/mentally abuse by my mother, should I tell him?

interracial84

first of all, i am sorry for my poor English, English is not my first language.

During my childhood, mom angry at dad for cheating, so mom take out her anger on me.
One time when dad out on weekend business trip, mom physically beaten me, hit me.
I went to school with bruises on arms, and red slap handmarks across my face.
School teachers saw it, call police, and this went to court for domestic 'child abuse' court order to take me away to 'foster home' for few years.

Afterward i was return home, mom stop beaten me but still mentally abuse, and belittle me everyday.
I endure this to my 18 birthday, damage mom done to me was too much that i move out away from her.
so more more than a decade, i survive on my own. So mom is out of he picture, she no longer a part of my life.
Though i do go back home to visit my old father (who never abuse me) twice a month.

I'm 30 now, and I been dating this guy age 29, so far the relationship is so good, thanks to he puts alot of effort into it. It is his persistent and steady affection to carried this whole relationship through.

Appearantly my abusive past still haunt me, sometimes i re-read all the police report, and courts papers of "how" she beaten me, i still find myself in tears.

Seem like my mother abuse me in my childhood still hurt subconsciously inside me.
My BF sometimes stay over at my place. One-two times he saw I cried in my sleep, tears dropped down my face.
He was sleeping next to me, he saw it, he got very worried, and wakes me up; and I saw my pillow was wet with tears, so I definately DID cried.

He knows that something bothering me, but i refused to talk about it, and he respect that. And he said whenever im ready to talk, he'll be there.

We are in a monogamous commited relationship, he buy matching promise rings to wear to show commitment, and he always wear the ring. So i believe he is serious about this relationship.

So how do i break it to him about my mother mentally abuse me and physically beaten me in my childhood?
Would my BF get freak out that i was abusive by my mother in the past? Would he run away over this?

Do he must know about this abusive past of mine? would he feel sad/feel pity for me?
I don't want him to stay with me out of pity love, hope this make sense...

any advice is greatly appreciated, thank you
especially from the guys viewpoints, do you MIND your gf had a mother that mentally and physically abuse her when she little?

Penny Tration

If he loves you, he won't run.

You went through an awful time, and you're a strong adult in a loving relationship. I think he'll stick by you if you tell him.

You don't have to tell him everything if you're not ready. Just tell him 'sometimes I cry in my sleep or get a bit sad because my mom hurt me a lot when I was a child, and I'm still dealing with it.'

He probably will be sad, but that's okay. He might be angry that someone hurt a person as lovely as you, and that's okay too. It's okay for him to be sad for you.

If he already loves you, then it's not just pity love. His love for you won't change because you did nothing wrong. He will probably be proud that you could trust him enough to tell him.