delteted on facebook FEELING HURT

LegacyUser

A Sister of a close friend who i know for years who i get on well with and was only out with a few weeks ago deleted me on facebook i have no idea why and anytime anyone deletes me i wreck my head trying to think of why what did i do........ most of them i wouldnt have seen in years but it still hurts a bit she is still friends with others she would not even know half as well as me and my friend is trying to organise a night out with the three of us over Christmas but im too hurt to talk to her sister again

Don Kedick

How about you go down to her house and talk to her sometime? :eek:

DoYouEvenLift

Do you post a lot/clutter other people's newsfeeds?

Raminahobbin

Ah god. Really? Everytime you get deleted you wreck your head trying to figure out why? Op, some people just spring clean their friend lists. It doesn't mean anything.

For you to be so hurt that you'd consider not meeting up with her over the Xmas period because of this is a massive overreaction. If you want to be friends with her ON facebook, be friends with her OFF facebook.

It might have even been a slip of the finger in defriending you!

sashafierce

This post has been deleted.

gormdubhgorm

Jayus it is only the internet. How many "friends" on the internet are merely acquaintances/friends of friends.

Don't be worrying about it.

It is only facebook it is not real life.

Littlekittylou

CAtchia wrote: »

A Sister of a close friend who i know for years who i get on well with and was only out with a few weeks ago deleted me on facebook i have no idea why and anytime anyone deletes me i wreck my head trying to think of why what did i do........ most of them i wouldnt have seen in years but it still hurts a bit she is still friends with others she would not even know half as well as me and my friend is trying to organise a night out with the three of us over Christmas but im too hurt to talk to her sister again

I have deleted people by accident sometimes. It's very embarrassing. It's just a misclick. You probably did not do anything.
My Dad deleted me by accident. Or so he says .... :mad: He has like eleven friends ! And our dog has an FB page and they are still friends!

If you are not very active people sometimes do because it's not something you use.

Just say to her that you feel a little offended and I am sure it's nothing untoward or anything.

Just ask her why ?
I wouldn't lambast anyone for being upset about it. I understand. But I have deleted peeps by accident and then felt awkward and embarrassed about re adding them.

It tends to happen if you are getting rid of some old deactivated accounts etc.

I understand. I am sure it was an accident. It's happened to me a few times.

woodchuck

CAtchia wrote: »

A Sister of a close friend who i know for years who i get on well with and was only out with a few weeks ago deleted me on facebook i have no idea why and anytime anyone deletes me i wreck my head trying to think of why what did i do........ most of them i wouldnt have seen in years but it still hurts a bit she is still friends with others she would not even know half as well as me and my friend is trying to organise a night out with the three of us over Christmas but im too hurt to talk to her sister again

Eh... this is why!!!

Do you make any effort to actually communicate with these so called friends? If not in person, what about texts/emails?

Big Bag of Chips

It mightn't be an accident. If she doesn't use Facebook to keep in touch with you then she is entitled to delete you. It's irrelevant that she is still friends with people you think she doesn't know as well as you. She may be in Facebook contact with these people.. You just don't know.

I would really really REALLY not bring it up with her. That will make you look a bit crazy! It's only Facebook after all. It's not like see has told your friend that she never wants to talk to you again. She's your friend's sister. She's an acquaintance of yours. You don't HAVE to be Facebook friends.

The fact that this is not the first time you've been deleted should mean that you know people regularly do a clean up of their friend list. It's nothing personal.

sashafierce wrote: »

we are friends with our friends

This is not necessarily true, OP. Most people are friends with acquaintances, even people they only vaguely know. How many on your own friends list are you actually friends with?

ellie1

Maybe delete your Facebook page if it causing you so much hurt..

Rubberchikken

Maybe it was an accident.
I don't understand FB. Never been on it and have no interest in it. Terrible i know;)

Don't give it too much thought.
If you meet up over christmas just be yourself.

dellas1979

About 2 years ago, a guy I know (effectively a neighbour, but Id never see often) put a message on facebook that he was looking for a car radio with a CD player, and if anyone knew of a place yadayada...

Anyways, I had a car radio just sitting in the house (took it out of car when I was doing scrappage scheme). I said "I have one, come take it for free! And no bother at all, more than welcome to it."

The radio was collected. He put it in the car. Few weeks later the car was broken into and what was stolen? The feckin car radio......

Anyways, he then subsequently "deleted" me from facebook. I chuckled alot about that. No idea why, and I dont care.

My point OP, who knows why. Its their choice. Doesnt mean youve done anything wrong, which is what you seem to be assuming.

Littlekittylou

Rubberchikken wrote: »

Maybe it was an accident.
I don't understand FB. Never been on it and have no interest in it. Terrible i know;)

Don't give it too much thought.
If you meet up over christmas just be yourself.

This! Likelihood is it's an accident. A guy deleted me then re added me once he had no idea why he had deleted me. They are probably not going to remember either.

dee_mc

Don't read anything into it - I do the periodical clean up thing too from time to time, mostly deleting people who added me after meeting on a night out etc or people who post a lot of rubbish about games or who enter loads of competitions. It's nothing personal and it doesn't necessarily mean that I don't like them or whatever, but means that I don't want too see their stuff on my timeline!
Just out of interest, how do you know when someone has unfriended you (is that the term?!)?

pc7

ellie1 wrote: »

Maybe delete your Facebook page if it causing you so much hurt..

This is what I was going to suggest, I know probably due to my age I dont get the whole facebook thing. But if it's upsetting you step away, take a break from it. Do you count your 'friends' on it every day? How do you notice you've been deleted?

skallywag

I've had plenty of people delete me, I don't see it as an issue as it has always been people I didn't really know that well anyway. I can't say I was particularly interested in anything they ever posted anyway, and I'm pretty sure the same goes for them on what I may post from time to time.

Ken.

My rule passed on to me by a friend is if I see your birthday reminder and I haven't spoken to you in real life since the last one then its delete time.

gormdubhgorm

OP I suggest you watch the southpark episode on facebook.
Wonderful satire/commentary and hits the nail on the head.
<Mod Snip: Don't link to videos>

Don't get sucked into the system and let it overtake you like a drug.
<Mod Snip: Don't link to videos>

sparrowcar

I've deleted 3 people recently for these reasons. Sometimes I think people don't realise how annoying their posts can be.

1) old female school "friend" walked straight past me in a shopping centre after I said hello. I genuinely think she didn't recognise me and looked at me a bit strange. I took my phone out and deleted her within 20 feet of her walking past me.

2) best mates sister, post crap continuously and shares those "repost this or you'll die in 10 mins" stuff all the time. She's sent me a friend request a week later.. Denied.

3) lad I know from around town. Quiet as a mouse all his life and now has a Facebook voice and excellent keyboard warrior skills. The usual stuff, Water protests/Syria/immigration and all his points are misinformed and sensationalised probably from one of the red tops he's read them from.

I have never been deleted on FB, but then I don't try and force my opinions down anyone throat or over promote my lifestyle, I use it in moderation and think before I post, it's not hard.

bp

I delete people who send me candy crush requests...they annoy me. But honestly I never know when people delete me - only realise if I go to look for them specifically.

I also delete people who put a lot of political stuff or you will get rich if you share this - cluttering my news feed

Miaireland

I am not a big user of facebook. However I do delete people who post things that say repost to 10 people to make your wishes come true etc or share posts for competitions etc.. It is not that I have anything against these people but these posts annoy me.

To be honest I have no idea what number of friends I have in facebook and don't get upset if someone deletes me (the odds of me noticing is slim) so I really don't give much thought about deleting people when their posts clutter up my home screen.

Est28

I'm guessing OP is a bit younger? I have FB but I actually did a cleanup myself in the past year for a few reasons.

I don't delete anyone often unless it's for something insufferable but I tend to have the majority of people on the "acquantance" list and only actual people I see in real life would see anything I post, which isn't often.

I went back over stuff from years ago too and cleaned out any stupid or irrelivant posts and made sure privacy settings were all right. To be honest, it's not worth employers or someone you work with or don't know terribly well seeing all sorts of random things you do or say.

I've had a couple of people delete me over the years. Mostly people I had met at some point but would never meet again, or we never talk. One ex-roommate deleted me about a week after we moved out of the house. That one, was a little dig to the gut since I thought we got on fine, but he had his own odd ways. You must kinda have to let it go. If they delete you and you know them, they're probably the kind to be passive agressive or rude when you do meet. Who needs it. I've seen and had people try to drag me into facebook drama over time and I just stepped away. It's not real life.

I agree with what someone said about the people (especially quiet people) who find this insufferable internet persona. I know one girl who wouldn't say boo to a mouse but my timeline is basically just HER posts every day until I blocked them. And it's all just really stupid childish stuff too, she's a 30 year old woman. Same for a few quiet guys I know who try to be witty and funny and like every post and picture girls post but wouldn't even talk to said girls in real life... it's draining to watch.
Same goes for a few people I know who just use it as a constant "Look, what I have, look what I'm doing, I'm so awesome!" one upping contests.

One lad I know is funny. We were on a bar crawl last Christmas and he was being anti-social the whole night on his phone. Next day I see he had checked in to every bar on the way posting what an unreal night it was and stuff. It you weren't there you'd think you missed the party of the century with this guy... but he hardly spoke to one person all night, just played with his phone. :rolleyes:


Just step away from it, it's fine to pass a few bored minutes, but people treat it like real life.

thefeatheredcat

Op everyone seems to have been able to provide some sort of understanding about facebook and friend deletion and reasons behind it and where people stand with it. And that is fantastic. I know it may come across as flippant to say it's just a social networking site, but I also know that sometimes for some people that sort of communication platform can mean more to them than they would admit, and for others it's past its novelty and reason for being and a bit like that toy you've grown out of but can't quite give away.

Something troubles me about your post itself though, that hasn't been quite addressed which is that to you this does matter. And that being deleted on facebook is something that really upsets you, and that makes your mind do gymnastics about why and what you did to deserve it....and I noticed the kind of comparison between deleting you, someone she has known a long time versus staying friends with someone she wouldn't know half as well, or half as long.

Op how are you in general? Are you ok? Are things ok with you?
When I've been fairly down I take things a bit harder than I should. When I was depressed I got upset when I felt I wasn't acknowledged, same when I lacked confidence in myself and felt a bit invisible and stuff wasn't going well.

I'm not sure what role facebook plays in your life, or where it stands in your life, but I get that you are assuming that because she has deleted you from facebook, that she wants nothing to do with you despite having gone out on a night out with you recently and despite the plans being made. Sure it might make things awkward, but then again I also don't know what role facebook plays in her life either, as what facebook may be to you, may not be like that to her. Regardless it shouldn't mean that you can't be comfortable with your friend despite that her sister has deleted you.

I think you should ask yourself why you feel hurt and why you wreck your head wondering why when people do delete you, not about their behaviour towards you though, but about why you feel that way, which I think is the root cause and something you need to consider dealing with separate from individuals and their behaviour.

Saralee4

I can understand why you feel hurt OP.

I don't think I've ever been deleted, I wouldn't know how to check. But you say that you are very close to her sister and that you have been out with the girl recently and probably will be out with the girl again. If that happened to me I would probably be wondering the same thing. I would be thinking 'did I do something wrong?'.

Its easy for people to say 'its only facebook, its not real life' but the fact is that it is real life. People get bullied on facebook, people share their private family photos that you would probably not show to half of your 'friends' in real life because you know they wouldn't really want to see them but facebook is like a public diary and people can show a lot of private and personal information on this social network so the argument that it is not real life is not true because for some people it is.

There are always people you find annoying in real life and on facebook. Its horrible when you see people sharing photos of sick children and they are not even sure where those photos came from or if the child or child parents gave permission for this photo to be broadcast to get 'likes'. Some people post stupid things about their boyfriend or passive aggressive statements and your like 'wtf are they talking about' haha Some people share quotes and you think 'oh well done you shared someone elses idea' and some people share those stupid 'chain mail' posts that if you don't share 50 million times something bad is going to happen you. The reality is people are just trying to show their personality. And I don't think they really know what to post because in a way facebook is not natural. Its a phony environment based on a button called 'like' that puts some value on a person or a product. Most people just post whatever other people are posting. Because does anyone really understand what facebook is really about?? I don't. I see 'John Smith likes Brennans Bread' and I think to myself why does John Smith want everyone to know that he likes Brennans Bread. Who cares? The truth is that John Smith is just part of the advertising malarkey that is facebook.

You might not like it but that's what facebook is all about (advertising products and advertising yourself). It can turn into a popularity contest for some people and its easy to say 'don't get sucked in' but other than a few funny stories or someone's pictures, I can only see that Facebook is for vanity, advertising and keeping up with the joneses. I don't think its a good site. I really don't think many people take anything good from it. But it has become difficult not to be a part of it. I only joined recently and I find that I get invited to more things now simply cause its easier for people to keep in touch with me or im not lost in conversations with people where there saying 'oh did you see that on facebook so funny hahaha'.

That girl might have deleted you by accident. She might have done it on purpose. You don't know of anything she might think that you have done wrong on her so I would just say forget about it. Go out when your close friend arranges the night out and just be normal with the sister. Just forget about it and have a good time and she will probably be sending you a Facebook friend request in a few months time.

I know its hard not to feel hurt but you haven't done anything wrong here so there is no need to feel hurt. Don't let something like this change who you are and have you paranoid and things that are out of your control and like everyone has said it could have been done in error.