Both parents diagnosed with Leukemia

Monty Bojangles

As the title suggests both my dad, and more recently my mum, have been diagnosed with Leukemia. My dad has responded so far to treatment for his APML, my mother's case is not curable and is considered 'life limiting' with drugs available to manage certain aspects of her illness and no-one can say how quickly it will progress - it could be months or years. Both are in their early 70s and remarkably resilient and outwardly upbeat. My mum spent a long time taking care of my dad when he got his diagnosis, and when he came out of the woods she got her own diagnosis after blood tests revealed something amiss. They're under the care of the same haemotologist who has been very kind to both of them, and me.

There are tears streaming down my face now because I am utterly broken by this. I simply can't stop crying! We're a small family and I moved home from living overseas to help care for my father so there isn't really anyone but us, and we don't have a network of friends/family really nearby. They seek comfort in each other and I try to hide what an emotional heap I've become from them, but it's tough and I know it would be wrong to burden them with my emotional meltdown when they are battling cancer. In a way I feel terribly guilty for falling apart while they are the ones who are ill and yet holding it together. It feels like I'm grieving for all the things they'll never see/do or be part of with me, whilst I watch them go through gruelling treatment and feel so helpless for them.

For anyone who has been in a similar place, what helped? I know with cancer being so prevalent these days that I'm in good company, but I honestly can't get my head around all this alone.

Graces7

Monty Bojangles wrote: »

As the title suggests both my dad, and more recently my mum, have been diagnosed with Leukemia. My dad has responded so far to treatment for his APML, my mother's case is not curable and is considered 'life limiting' with drugs available to manage certain aspects of her illness and no-one can say how quickly it will progress - it could be months or years. Both are in their early 70s and remarkably resilient and outwardly upbeat. My mum spent a long time taking care of my dad when he got his diagnosis, and when he came out of the woods she got her own diagnosis after blood tests revealed something amiss. They're under the care of the same haemotologist who has been very kind to both of them, and me.

There are tears streaming down my face now because I am utterly broken by this. I simply can't stop crying! We're a small family and I moved home from living overseas to help care for my father so there isn't really anyone but us, and we don't have a network of friends/family really nearby. They seek comfort in each other and I try to hide what an emotional heap I've become from them, but it's tough and I know it would be wrong to burden them with my emotional meltdown when they are battling cancer. In a way I feel terribly guilty for falling apart while they are the ones who are ill and yet holding it together. It feels like I'm grieving for all the things they'll never see/do or be part of with me, whilst I watch them go through gruelling treatment and feel so helpless for them.

For anyone who has been in a similar place, what helped? I know with cancer being so prevalent these days that I'm in good company, but I honestly can't get my head around all this alone.

So sorry for this huge burden. Please do not feel guilty; they are your family and you love them. It is not a sin or weakness to fall apart

You need support;others in your terrible situation. Can the hospital advise on this?

biomed32

I wasn't in the same situation as yourself but ARC cancer support I think would help you greatly. They helped my Godmother and her family when my Godfather was diagnosed as terminal and was there to support the family from diagnosis to the end and beyond.

http://www.arccancersupport.ie/

byhookorbycrook

Couldn't ignore the thread title, nothing much to say but that I am thinking of ye.

JP Liz V1

So sorry to hear OP stay strong and my prayers are with you and your parents

Kristopherus

Good Lord, what a hand of cards to be dealt. OP, there are a lot of support organisations around the country. If you could indicate the general area of the country you are in, I'm sure other posters will be able to point you towards a local support group. It is far better to have the help of a support group, than trying to manage on your own. Very best of good fortune to you in those very trying times.

jockeyboard

So sorry to hear of your situation. I dont have much advice except go to talk to your gp and see if they can advise of services for you. You need to mind yourself and keep strong too.