Work Colleague Problem

cruais · 02-12-2014 8:18am #1

Hi i would love any advice given on how to approach this professionally yet firmly.

Heres a bit of background first.

My colleague and I were transferred temporarily to a new section in our company to work on a new project.

All was going ok until the last month. She thinks she is my boss.

The way the desk works is an early and late shift, and obviously this causes an overlap, which is supposed to be used for a hand over. This does not happen. When i pop out to the loo for 2 mins, she goes and checks my work, nit picking stupid things to email our manager.

An example being. I requested a leave day for a Monday. I emailed my manager and requested this using the day and date. I came back in to a massive long email to my manager about How i typed the incorrect date for my leave. This was my personal email to my manager that she decided to comment on.

Our manager has left it to us to do our own roster. He is good like that. Basically once the work gets done he doesnt mind how it worked. So when my colleague and i both started here, we worked out a roster that was fair in the sense that we both got fair share of earlies and lates. She agreed that this was the set roster and she got the days off that she wanted as did i.

all of a sudden this didnt suit. She told me she was changing the roster. I said ok however one particular day i would not be able to do a late as i have college. Well i was hounded for my early. Explaining it was due to the fact i was in college in the evenings, she questioned me why i would need an early, since college doesnt start till 5.30pm. My late finishes at 9pm. She told me i would do a middle shift and go to college late in which i said under no circumstances this would be happening. She started to sneer and smirk at me in which i said what is the problem.

she informed me that she couldnt understand how it would take me two hours to get to college.

The reason is i like to get home, change out of my work clothes and grab a quick bite as i do not get home to my house until 10.30pm and back up for work at 4 30 am. I didn't tell her this. I just asked her what was with the 50 questions and i felt like i was on trial.

this morning i came into a big memo on my desk which she cc my manager. She requested my medical appointment days so she could write a roster. She brought back up Thursdays and also emailed HR on "MY Behalf" putting her signature to something that has my name printed on it. Im so annoyed.

how do i approach this and nip this in the bud. Im actually upset this morning. Thanks a million

ZiabR · 02-12-2014 8:32am

Ok then... christ OP. Why have you not reported this to anyone yet? Have you met face to face with your manager and discussed what is going on? Have you contacted HR and discussed what is going on?

Your colleague seems to have something personal against you and is hell bent on making your life miserable.

I would report this as soon as possible. Oh and stop handling this via e-mail. Meet HR and your manager face to face.

EDIT - Also "She brought back up Thursdays and also emailed HR on "MY Behalf" putting her signature to something that has my name printed on it." is illegal. She could find herself in alot of trouble signing on behalf of other people.

cruais · 02-12-2014 9:07am

Thanks a million.

im just at a loss as to why her behaviour. She would be quite a strange one in general.

I see my manager face to face everyday but i dont want to come across childish, telling tales in the school yard. I need to nip this in the bud with her directly

The problem with HR, they are a non face to face HR, who are only accessible through email and on the phone

i emailed them this morning to say that she sent this is "on my behalf" and signed it on "my behalf" but it was not with my consent.

Penny Tration · 02-12-2014 9:15am

Seriously, you're not 'telling tales,' you're reporting her for completely unprofessional behaviour (which I'd question the legality of.).

You won't nip it in the bud with her. It's already gone too far.

Go straight to your manager.

Start noting times, dates and incidents in a diary immediately.

LegacyUser · 02-12-2014 9:31am

Your manager is not actually managing and you need to tag him in properly. It seems like a good idea for you to be left to do your own roster, but really it's not, it just leaves your ass of a collegue scope to throw her weight about.

Don't justify your needs, if you need a day off, it's none of her business why, at all. With a decent colleague you might explain, with this one, anytime she asks why you need a day or particular shift, smile and ask why she wants to know, then stick to your guns and don't justify yourself to her. You may need to explain to your manager why you need certain days off or whatever, but that's a very different thing.

I don't know what the email set up is, but she shouldn't have access to your communications with your manager. If you can, shut that down. Log off or lock your PC, change your password, whatever you need to do, stop allowing her access to that. If it's some sort of shared account, stop using it for annything she shouldn't have access to.

After you've spoken to your manager about it all, consider a formal complaint about the email purported to have been sent on your behalf and at the very least contact HR and inform them the memo was not from you or on your behalf and she does not have any need or permission to contact them for you. Longer term, keep a note of every incident, somewhere private, as you may want to consider a complaint that she's bullying you.

You and our manager have allowed the boundaries to be drawn by your colleague, totally in her favour. You're going to have to redraw them, stand up for yourself a bit and get the proper support of your manager and HR.

LynnGrace · 02-12-2014 9:32am

Jingle_Balls wrote: »

Seriously, you're not 'telling tales,' you're reporting her for completely unprofessional behaviour (which I'd question the legality of.).

You won't nip it in the bud with her. It's already gone too far.

Go straight to your manager.

Start noting times, dates and incidents in a diary immediately.

Agreed.

Also, in relation to email etc, ensure that your screen is locked when you leave your desk. I'm assuming she had to go to your PC to see the email about requesting a day's leave. Completely out of order, on her part.
It's fine for a manager 'to not care how work is done, so long as it's done', but there are times when they need to do what they are paid to do, i.e manage.

From what you have said, this situation requires management intervention.

02-12-2014 9:43am

cruais wrote: »

I need to nip this in the bud with her directly

The problem with HR, they are a non face to face HR, who are only accessible through email and on the phone

i emailed them this morning to say that she sent this is "on my behalf" and signed it on "my behalf" but it was not with my consent.

Directly isn't going to get you anywhere with someone who has no interested in resolving it directly.
You need to start making a formal complaint and discussing this with your manager asap.
Lock your pc every time you walk away from it and change your password as i assume that's how she got your email.

cruais · 02-12-2014 10:09am

Thanks all.

its a generic email account for our desk thats set up for both of us to use.

So unfortunately i cant lock the computer when i leave as we have the samd sign in code.

but i am glad to see that i am not exaggerating things. I thought i was going mad.

My friend reckons she is jealous but of what i do not know.

ZiabR · 02-12-2014 10:34am

cruais wrote: »

My friend reckons she is jealous but of what i do not know.

Being jealous is one thing, but it still does not excuse the way she is behaving. If I am honest, if you let this sit, it will not get any better. You need to raise this now with your manager so that they are at least aware of the situation.

Dixie Chick · 02-12-2014 10:51am

You are definitely not going mad. She needs to be halted in her gallop and it isn't for you to do, its the manager. There are no "telling tales" in a workplace. Report the above to you manager and let him sort it.

LegacyUser · 02-12-2014 11:20am

cruais wrote: »

My friend reckons she is jealous but of what i do not know.

I doubt it's jealousy. Some people imagine the way to prove themselves as a manager is to start managing the people around them when they have no right to and, as in this case, no ability. Some people don't even think that far ahead, they just imagine the best way to kiss ass is to do harm to those around them so they look better in comparison. And some are just idiots.

Stop using that common account to send emails to HR and your manager. Even if you have to use a personal, external account, you'd be better off than letting her see what you're sending.

Neyite · 02-12-2014 12:43pm

Print off all of those emails when you are on your own, that she has either sent or had a hand in sending, file them at home with your own comments on them, as to what is really happened, because you will forget small details and what not.

Get a diary, note the issues as factual as possible every day as soon as you can so that they are fresh in your mind.

Email your manager / or phone him if possible, say that the roster was changed by your colleague and you do not agree with the changes and you both are at an impasse, can he step in to resolve this.

And don't feel for one second bad about involving management or HR. You need to and far better that they become aware of potential bullying and problems before it gets bigger.

dixiefly · 02-12-2014 1:56pm

Jingle_Balls wrote: »

Seriously, you're not 'telling tales,' you're reporting her for completely unprofessional behaviour (which I'd question the legality of.).

You won't nip it in the bud with her. It's already gone too far.

Go straight to your manager.

Start noting times, dates and incidents in a diary immediately.

I agree and I would also tell HER by email that her behaviour is unacceptable and that you are bringing it up with your manager & HR.

You need to take her on.

dixiefly · 02-12-2014 1:58pm

Neyite wrote: »

Print off all of those emails when you are on your own, that she has either sent or had a hand in sending, file them at home with your own comments on them, as to what is really happened, because you will forget small details and what not.

Get a diary, note the issues as factual as possible every day as soon as you can so that they are fresh in your mind.

Email your manager / or phone him if possible, say that the roster was changed by your colleague and you do not agree with the changes and you both are at an impasse, can he step in to resolve this.

And don't feel for one second bad about involving management or HR. You need to and far better that they become aware of potential bullying and problems before it gets bigger.

Agreed .

Note that it is part of the manager's JOB to deal with these sorts of issues. If there wasnt the potential for this sort of behaviour sure many managers would be redundant.

iusedtoknow · 02-12-2014 2:28pm

She sounds a head wrecker and like someone I managed previously

1) Email is actually your friend here - it has time stamps etc and so you should use this as a base for ANY thing you bring to your manager. Try not to have too much more dealings with her over email, but keep everything

2)Talk to your manager - try and organize a 1:1/friendly coffee with him to talk about what she is doing, do not make ANYTHING official with HR...yet. TBH it sounds like he is pretty hands off and may need to put his neck in to sort this out. If it is unusual, she may see you going off with the manager and it will set alarm bells going for her.

3) Give the manager time to observe AND talk to her. If the behavior continues...then talk to HR.

The way I dealt with it?
1)I inherited the team, and they were self discipling when it came to rostering/days off - except for one member who took it up herself to be the "boss" of the file as she knew how to "do it right". People would need to email her to get anything done. I changed this immediately and found that she had taken a lot more time off than she was due. Written warning. From then on...I implemented a two week out roster, where I first established who needed what, and what we as a team needed (we were 24/7) and then published it.

2) I watched this person like a hawk, noticed mistakes in her work/tickets and talked to her about it...at her desk - in the same way that she had been doing with others. I also spoke to her directly that the rest of her team were taking her criticism or "pointers" well and that if she noticed anything, she was to come to me directly.

Eventually she stopped trying to be the "team lead" (as she had described herself on the phone within my earshot) and settled down. Thankfully she quit before it got too nasty.

ShowMeTheCash · 02-12-2014 3:00pm

Hey OP.

One thing I am ruthless with is my career.
Where people are fair there usually is no cause for issue.

What I would do is this.

The e-mail with your name on it that she sent I would reply to all, HR and your direct manager.

Ask why is your name on this memo, you where not informed of it and did not consent to it being sent.
State that all medical appointments will be commicated to your direct manager and HR only, however you will happily discuss the roster to come to happy medium.

Lastly I would just reiterate by saying "Whoever" please refrain from sending mails on my behalf in the future as it is causing confusion.

Someone said to keep it off e-mail, I dissagree, as long as you are being reasonable e-mail will tell no lies.

On a side note, I think it has already went too far, I would maybe have a discussion with your line manager.

Also have yourself convered, she might come back with something like "She is left to do the rota because you don't" or some other reason.

cloudatlas · 02-12-2014 8:42pm

If you use email then there is a record of what action has been taken, maybe useful.

LynnGrace · 02-12-2014 8:54pm

Guessed wrote: »

I doubt it's jealousy. Some people imagine the way to prove themselves as a manager is to start managing the people around them when they have no right to and, as in this case, no ability. Some people don't even think that far ahead, they just imagine the best way to kiss ass is to do harm to those around them so they look better in comparison. And some are just idiots.

Stop using that common account to send emails to HR and your manager. Even if you have to use a personal, external account, you'd be better off than letting her see what you're sending.

Well said, and very true.

cruais · 02-12-2014 11:01pm

Tomorrow is going to be the day i end all of this utter bullying crap.

I am a strong person in general. I am very easy going with people as in i tend not to get too stressed about things, always trying to find a solution to things.

However, she just really got to me and is getting to me.

Its got to a stage that she is making personal comments to me an example being she over heard a conversation on how much i spend on my hair. Now i like to look after my appearance, but im in no ways like a dolly bird.

When she heard how much i spent, she asked was i mad and that i must be rolling in it to spend that amount. She then sneered at me. She looks me up and down and sneers and smirks.

She shouted at me last week saying "would you just stop that"! As if i was a child. I had my legs crossed and my foot was flipping up and down.

ahmeeehead · 03-12-2014 8:43am

Take her down OP. Hope that's enjoyable.

Good luck

cruais · 03-12-2014 9:34am

Well I have received another email from her basically requesting me to bow to her.

Asking me to have x y z done for her for friday morning.

I emailed back, using a professional and assertive tone and made sure that while i included the copy of her email, i also cc my manager so he gets the drift.

He is not thick and will no doubt notice my annoyance in the email, hopefully prompting him to approach me to see whats going on.

Thanks all for your kind advice! I now know i havent lost the plot!

Pawwed Rig · 03-12-2014 11:03am

cruais wrote: »

I emailed back, using a professional and assertive tone and made sure that while i included the copy of her email, i also cc my manager so he gets the drift.

Passive aggressive e-mails will not work. You need to talk to your manager and get him to sort it. He seems like he is happy with the hands off approach ie not managing which is not working.

cloudatlas · 03-12-2014 11:24am

Yes, you must remain professional and above it all. It's more satisfying to be able to say to yourself I didn't stoop to her level I handled myself with decorum and impressed my boss despite her sneers.

I wouldn't have replied to her at all. It's time to send an email with all the details to your manager and request a meeting with him or her. Don't wait for your manager to cop on to what's going on.

dixiefly · 03-12-2014 11:26am

Pawwed Rig wrote: »

Passive aggressive e-mails will not work. You need to talk to your manager and get him to sort it. He seems like he is happy with the hands off approach ie not managing which is not working.

Exactly, he is being paid to observe what is going on in his area and MANAGE.

To make sure that he gets the message, I would either email him or speak to him indicating that this latest email from her is just an example of what has been going on. I would also gently hint that, by her behaviour, that she in undermining the manager and that you will take it further if it is not dealt with.

ShowMeTheCash · 03-12-2014 12:24pm

dixiefly wrote: »

I would also gently hint that, by her behaviour, that she in undermining the manager and that you will take it further if it is not dealt with.

I would be careful of this, managers sometimes do not like being told how to do their job.

Explaining what is going on is one thing.
Telling the manger she is undermining them suggests the manager is perhaps clueless to what is going on and then telling them you will take it further is backing it up with a threat i.e. "Sort this or I will go above you to get it sorted".

I once told a manager "The squeaky wheel gets the grease" as I was making a lot of noise to get things changed, his retort was "Sometimes the squeaky wheel gets replaced".

Remember life is not fair so don't expect it to be.

dixiefly · 03-12-2014 12:45pm

ShowMeTheCash wrote: »

I would be careful of this, managers sometimes do not like being told how to do their job.

Explaining what is going on is one thing.
Telling the manger she is undermining them suggests the manager is perhaps clueless to what is going on and then telling them you will take it further is backing it up with a threat i.e. "Sort this or I will go above you to get it sorted".

I once told a manager "The squeaky wheel gets the grease" as I was making a lot of noise to get things changed, his retort was "Sometimes the squeaky wheel gets replaced".

Remember life is not fair so don't expect it to be.

Maybe horses for courses but sometimes you just have to think / act outside the box in a work situation. And you can hint to the manager without actually telling them that they are being undermined.

A number of years ago I had a situation where a colleague was consistently failing to follow up on an issue. Not a bullying situation but it meant that I was not able to do my job and I was getting flak from the outside and it was my reputation that was being effected.

After going through all the "nice" methods of dealing with it, copying the boss etc I nailed it on my colleague and the boss at the same time at a meeting and followed straight away with emails. My boss was no shrinking violet (as others learned) and he was temporarily pissed off but it did not effect our relationship inside or outside the organisation. And the problem was sorted.

My thoughts on the squeaky analogy would be a person who is constantly complaining on a variety of issues. If you consistently do your job and pick your battles rarely but when necessary then it would be very difficult for a rational boss to fire you.

Work Colleague Problem

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