I'm not mad, my boss IS evil.

LegacyUser

I'm currently out on sick leave due to stress.
My manager took against me the first day, (I suspect because I am qualified and she isn't).
I was undermined all the time, my work was sabotaged by her on a regular basis, I was unfairly
written up for not doing work even though it was done (again a regular occurrence), I had responsibilities removed until I ended up doing menial tasks and was still receiving criticism.
Eventually I was demoted and I was delighted because I (wrongly) thought that she would back off.

She had a sidekick that helped her in a lot of this. As an example, a well known criminal family that we dealt with had made threats against me, the guards told me that it was a very credible threat of rape and that it should be taken seriously. I told my manager about the threats and that I wouldn't be dealing with them again, she appeared very sympathetic, but less than 5 mins later she was in the canteen mocking me in front of other staff members (who were horrified). Her sidekick then took to giving out to me about it every time she saw me. She get quiet aggressive and shout at me for being weak and letting the criminal gang intimidate me. She berated me in front of others saying I was being stupid and pathetic for not dealing with them.


Anyways, months later, I have really vivid nightmares that I'm being physically tortured by her (the boss, not the sidekick), I grind my teeth at night and have broken 2 of them
My hands are actually shaking typing this and I can feel an anxiety attack brewing.

I'm still in touch with a few of the other staff and apparently the boss is now turning on the sidekick. The sidekick had to go around and apologise to every staff member for her behaviour because the boss told her to do so because everyone hated her and found her difficult to be around. (I think thats horrible).

The latest is that one staff member told the boss that the sidekick has to go and the boss said "don't worry about it, she'll have a nervous breakdown soon enough and she'll be out of here".

This has put me in an absolute spin since I heard it, I haven't slept for days thinking about it.
I'm furious over it, furious to know that it's deliberate. Furious because she has such disregard for peoples mental health. I'm half afraid that she's mocking me.

I feel desperately sorry for the sidekick because I know how she's probably feeling.
Then on the other hand I'm almost happy about it, because it's not just me, because it means that I'm not over sensitive and didn't imagine that I was being mistreated. And a little evil part of me is feeling that this is a bit of karma for the sidekick.

So? What do I do with this new info? Do I warn the sidekick? It would have meant the world to me if someone reached out to me when I was at my lowest and let me know that I wasn't mad. Or do I stay out of it now that I'm away from there and look after my own well being?

KCC

This seems very serious.

Firstly you do not warn the sidekick. I'm sure she is well aware. Also, what is happening there is none of your business. What you think/feel about it is irrelevant. You haven't even witnessed it. You don't even know for sure if what you are hearing is true. You need to look after your own wellbeing.

Does your workplace have an anti-bullying policy? If so there are usually very clear procedures for dealing with issues such as these. Note - if you are raising issues, be specific to your case. I hope you took notes of each and every incident. If there is no such policy, you need to raise the issues with your boss's boss. You could also ask your union for advice, if you are union member that is and/or get advice from a specialist solicitor.

Bear in mind there are always two sides to a story. Your boss's perspective may genuinely be very different to yours. The fact that your work managed to successfully demote you without any apparent grounds for doing so is concerning.

You mention you are out sick with stress - I hope you have discussed all this with your GP and that you are getting all the help you need. Also good to get other peoples' views and advice, e.g. your close family and friends.

Good luck.

Poppyella

KCC wrote: »

This seems very serious.

Firstly you do not warn the sidekick. I'm sure she is well aware. Also, what is happening there is none of your business. What you think/feel about it is irrelevant. You haven't even witnessed it. You don't even know for sure if what you are hearing is true. You need to look after your own wellbeing.

Does your workplace have an anti-bullying policy? If so there are usually very clear procedures for dealing with issues such as these. Note - if you are raising issues, be specific to your case. I hope you took notes of each and every incident. If there is no such policy, you need to raise the issues with your boss's boss.

Bear in mind there are always two sides to a story. Your boss's perspective may genuinely be very different to yours. The fact that your work managed to successfully demote you without any apparent grounds for doing so is concerning.

You mention you are out sick with stress - I hope you have discussed all this with your GP and that you are getting all the help you need. Also good to get other peoples' views and advice, e.g. your close family and friends.

Good luck.

I kept records and copies of everything. I even had to resort to taking pictures and videos of my work. I have previous threads on here about it somewhere (under another anon name)
I tried to bring it up with my boss's boss but it was ignored, I was told most of it was irrelevant and when they couldn't say that anymore, I was told that she was the manager and that her role existed so that they didn't have to be there, and that that was why they pay her more than the rest of the staff, so they would take her word over mine, because that's why she is there. (basically she's infallible). I tried to argue a bit more and recieved a warning for being disrespectful towards my manager.

I did bear in mind that there were two sides to every story and often wonder if I was at fault,
or maybe I'm really crap at my job, because I'm sure people who are bad at what they do aren't aware. I have worked with some really incompetent lazy people who though they were the bees knees, so maybe I'm one of them. But I've never had problems before, have always had excellent feedback and reviews and really good references. This was my dream job, I took a big pay cut to do it, so I'm fairly sure I gave it my all.

KCC wrote: »

The fact that your work managed to successfully demote you without any apparent grounds for doing so is concerning.

I let that happen, I didn't fight it in any way because I thought she would leave me alone afterwards. Turns out that was a very stupid play on my part.

oisinog

If your managers manager has not taken the complaint serious you need to make a complaint to your hr department.

If any of your colleagues are close and witnessed the bullying I would approach them as a witness and state in your complaint you have a witness.

Poppyella

Don't have a HR dept unfortunately or anything like it.
I have lots of witnesses because it went on for a year and there were many incidents.
I'd be reluctant to drag anyone else across her radar though, although three have told me before that they'd be willing to make statements.

oisinog

You need to raise it further up the line and find out the bullying and harassment policies. If you are a member of a trade union get them involved

Penny Tration

I wouldn't be speaking to this person's boss again.

OP, you need to go to an employment solicitor and fast.

Poppyella

oisinog wrote: »

You need to raise it further up the line and find out the bullying and harassment policies. If you are a member of a trade union get them involved

I don't think I'll get any justice really, have gone as high up as I can and got nowhere. Next option is legal route which I can't see happening to be honest. don't think I'd be able for it, I'd probably spontaneously comust with rage because she'd just lie (she has form for it).

I think I just want to rant or something. Family and friends are proably sick of me going on about it. And I suppose advice on whether or not to tell sidekick what is planned for her.

Poppyella

Jingle_Balls wrote: »

I wouldn't be speaking to this person's boss again.

OP, you need to go to an employment solicitor and fast.

Just posted about it above (kind of), also, can't afford it, I don't get paid sick pay, can't even afford to see the dentist about the 2 broken teeth.

Penny Tration

Poppyella wrote: »

Just posted about it above (kind of), also, can't afford it, I don't get paid sick pay, can't even afford to see the dentist about the 2 broken teeth.

At the very least, speak to citizens information and workplace relations (formerly nera).

They're both free.

LegacyUser

Hi Op

I can imagine what you are going through because I went through something similar a while back.

Bullies will always find somebody new to bully and it sounds like the sidekick is in line for it now that you are out of the picture. My ex boss was always turning on somebody and would make their life hell for a few months, then when they felt they had gone too far, would start on somebody new. I think it would only cause trouble if you went to this person to warn them as they could just go back to their boss with this information & make it worse for you.

You should go to Citizens advice and see what your rights are. I know I wasn't happy until I left my job and moved to another one. This is definitely the best option but it's hard to do and you should be entitled to some compensation for the bullying and having to be out of work with no pay.

Best of luck.