Don't like to socialise in the drinking culture

LegacyUser

Hi, I'm 19 in first year in college and I'm not really liking it at the moment. The people are nice but I find it hard to socialise when everything seems to revolve around alcohol. I like to drink the odd time, usually only a few beers though, but most people seem to almost live on cheap spirits and wine and since september, most in my class have gone out at least 3 times a week. My class is pretty small, so we all know each other, and like most courses, we have a 'doss class' once a week where it's easy and we don't take it seriously. Anyway the class is on wednesdays and last wednesday a few girls decided they couldn't go sober, so they went to an off licence, bought a litre of vodka between them and turned up smelling awful and totally drunk. Everyone found it hilarious, but I found it a bit sad that they'd get drunk at 3'clock on a wednesday. Anyway everyone in the class is planning to 'go on the sesh' before the class on wednesday and I feel like I'm the only one who thinks it wrong to do this. Am I wrong in thinking that when you can't turn up to a class sober that you may have a drink problem?

Anyway this is just an example of what has gone on this year and I feel that I haven't made many friends because I don't like to drink incessant amounts. I've hardly seen any society events which don't involve some sort of drinks reception or a night out. I don't want to be pushed into binge drinking but if I don't I feel like I'll be left out of the social circles. In general I don't mind my classmates, they're nice people and all, but I just hate the drink culture in university. Any advice is well appreciated. Thanks.

Rubberchikken

you can like your classmates/friends and not want to drink the same as them. tbh a lot of the drinking in college is because many think it's a thing that 'has' to be done. as i 'you're not a student unless you're off your head' all the time, and this is just nonsense.

ignore the Weds 'sesh'. i'm certain it's not acceptable to turn up for class drunk and will only result in trouble for someone eventually.

you sound like a smart person with their head screwed on so do what you think is right.

plenty of societies don't revolve around drinking so maybe look for different ones in your college.

sorry i've no better advice. you aren't the only student who doesn''t want to be drunk 24/7. people only hear about the ones who are.
take care

whiskeyman

It's v likely those who are overdoing it now may well not make it past 1st year!
It sounds like they have move an identity / attitude problem than a drink problem.
You don't have to get involved in the crazy drink culture if you dont want to, and you should be respected if you don't.
If anyone doesn't respect you for it, they're not worth having as mates.
You sound like a sensible guy / gal and you'll do well. Keep focused on your studies and you'll notice the craziness will probably tone down as other realise exams are looming!

TeamJesus

Hi OP,

I had the exact same problem as you in college and found it very tough. Actually you probably have it worse because my course was multimedia and some people had alternative interests.

Sounds like the people in your class aren't grown up enough to be individuals so they all copy each other.

In that sort of situation it's always going to be tough but there are a lot of positives too:

You will do better in your exams.
You will make friends rather than "drinking buddies".
You will learn how to live a life that doesn't revolve around alcohol.

If you go to the non-drinkers forum or similar you will see the odd post from people in their thirties who've realised that they wasted their twenties being drunken messes.

Now their bodies are ruined, their health is worse and they have to start learning new ways to socialise and meet people. You're better doing this now!

rosedream

I am similar about the whole drinking culture too, OP. I mean, I don't mind alcohol and going to the pub now and again, but I do hate how people feel the need to socialise in that environment.
I mean, there some people in my class who is all chatty (whether they are tipsy or just feel more confident) to you when you are out but
once your back in the classroom, it's back
to the very rare awkward chat now and again, because unless they are your mate, it's very unlikely that I get a chance to actually know my other classmates without the influence of alcohol.
That's why I wish in first year (and other years, in fact) colleges would set up alternative ways to get to know people and make friends without having to go out with roommates, since not everyone has that option.

So your not the only one, trust me. I know plenty of others who are not into the heavy drinking too, and there in college too.

zoobizoo

DOn't go to the doss class. You get to avoid the boozing beforehand and the nonsense that will happen in it.

LegacyUser

Hi OP, I feel your pain. I was left out and on my own a lot due to this issue. I, like you, have no problem with the odd drink. I wouldn't mind one bottle of beer every 2-3 weeks but any more than that just doesn't agree with me and I also don't get anything positive out of it. I'd much rather have a cup of tea and a bar of chocolate if I wanted to celebrate or have a treat. It's very immature to want to turn up to a class drunk. They don't realise what a wonderful opportunity they're getting being at college. You, on the other hand, are sensible and appreciate the opportunity you have. Definitely seek out clubs and socs in your college. There might even be a non-drinkers one but any of the socs would do really as they won't revolve around drink. I ended up lying and saying 'I don't drink' (I still have to do this on occasion such is Ireland) but I also have the advantage(disadvantage) of living in a rural area where I have to drive everywhere I go so tbh that means I can generally never have a social drink anyway unless I arranged for someone to drop me to the location and pick me up afterwards! If you're a driver you're sorted - just say you can't you're driving.
Be yourself, seek out other groups that don't involve drink and throw yourself into your course and getting the best grade you can (that's what you're there for really). You'll never be happy if you follow other people for the sake of it. Be true to you even if it sometimes means being alone. Honestly. You sound like the kind of strong person who can go it alone if needs be.

Lux23

I have a few friends who don't drink, that vast majority of them go out and don't pay any regard to whatever everyone else is doing. But I have one mate who is judgmental and moany about other people's drinking, he is 30 now and he sounds like a teenager whenever the topic comes up. It is beyond irritating.

Don't be that guy, do your own thing and don't pay attention to other people are doing, it is their body and will be their own downfall. It sounds like this class isn't worth going to, so why not give it a miss this week. Or go and pay attention to your own work and ignore what everyone else is doing.

sashafierce

This post has been deleted.

LegacyUser

Hi, thanks everyone for your help, at least I know now that I'm not the only one who feels this way. I don't judge people who like to do this, I just don't like to participate, that's all. I'm still going to the class, just going to stay sober for it. The people in my class are nice and seem cool with my opinion on this so I don't feel pressure at all. I would like to join a non drinkers society or something for people like me though, but there's nothing advertised like this at all where I'm going to, and it's a pretty big university. At the moment I'm feeling fine, just focusing on my course and playing music, I've no time for hangovers at all. Hopefully as I get older I won't be surrounded by as much of this but I'm feeling fine as it is. Thanks.