Im fed up with my job

maggie09

I've recently become really unhappy in my job. I work in a small office and I feel like everyone is in their own little clique and I'm on my own. I've cried 3 times in the last month, once was in the bathrooms at work. I feel really alone in there. I'm thinking of going to the doctor I'm so low, but I don't want to waste their time either if I just need to quit. I enjoy the work I do. It's just the people I have to work with. We have to attend a lot of different events throughout the year and I always head away around the 1am Mark as these things are always mid week and I don't want to be wrecked the following day. I feel like they judge me (boss included) for leaving early and not getting hammered drunk. I just don't know what to do, is it time to get out of this city, as I'm not from dublin, so don't have many friends here. I'm actually a really talkative and fun person, but I feel around them I become a complete introvert and feel like a wet blanket

Donald73

Try to talk to them a bit more if you can. Push thoughts away like that they think of you as a wet blanket etc, this is most likely not the case. It could just be that you might seem a bit standoffish to them; even though you're not, it could be how you're coming across.

I wouldn't advise you to start staying out longer at night if at an event just to try make them think differently of you, or to get hammered as this just isn't you. But when you are at the event be friendly, try to get to know more of them and maybe you'll find that you all get on brilliantly.

Don't give up on a job you love just because of this. You just need to try and make even one friend in there and take it from there. I truly hope it gets better. It can only come from you - they won't know you're feeling like this xxx

markfinn

TL/DR version:
Never be afraid to waste a doctor's time once in a while. They are working professionals too, paid for their services, and just having someone listen to your issue can help.


Long Version:
Up till quite recently I felt the same way, both in work and about doctors. Reckoned I could just tough it out, didn't want to spend money on having a doctor tell me I was being silly and/or to eat better or similar.

I finally went into the clinic two days before the date I'd decided I'd give my notice on, described my situation (which sounds very similar to your own, though with added headaches/light-headed spells) and one round of blood tests later was put on massive vitamin B12 supplements. Turns out I've not been absorbing it or something. Before the two days were up I was no longer desperate to quit, and since have been getting along a lot better both in work and day to day life.

Long story short, emotions and personal energy can have a lot more to do with medicals than people give them credit for. It may or may not be as easy a fix for you as it was for me, but it's worth trying for.

Safran

To me it seems like you have a more general problem: you are far from family and friends, you struggle to make new friends and are homesick and lonely. Changing a job will not help that, you might even get one that you dislike completely and it will only make you feel worse.

Can you bake? I would bake a cake for the office people. Do something personall and show them you are making an effort. Although you say they judge you, it is quite possible they feel exactly the same - that you leave early as you feel "above that".

Complimenting others always go a long way as well. "Where did you get that fab bag. I am new around and would love to get to know the area better" - something like that perhaps would work?

Wanderer2010

OP, I dont understand why 1. You have to socialize with them OUTSIDE of working hours, when you are entitled to do what you like with whom you like. Are social events mentioned in your contract? If not, stop going. You shouldnt have to mix with people you work with, try and maybe join a meetup group or evening course etc to meet people that way.

2. Why is the boss joining you on nights out and such? That must be extremely awkward having a boss with you when you want to cut loose.

My advice is to try and meet people outside of this environment through the meetup, clubs etc, and maybe you will feel a bit happier going to work once you have a few people outside of work to look forward to.

Maryaisling1

I am sorry you are feeling this way in a job you enjoy. Unfortunately people can be so rude and cliquey and you feeling this way is valid regarding how they are treating you. So what if you don't want to get hammered drunk with them, this is not part of your job and it seems like the boss is totally unprofessional also. I would try to keep your head up, do your job as well as you can and realise that you do not have to be besties with your work colleagues, when you try to stick to this measure just watch how things pan out, if anyone bullies you or you feel under pressure speak out and don't keep it bottled up. They sound like a pretty insensitive bunch to be fair. Best of Luck!