Too many things have gone wrong.

LegacyUser

I'm in my mid 20s. Finished my college last year, I have pretty high qualifications but I havent been able to find a job since. Constantly searching, interviewing and getting good feedback but same result every time "your CV is good, interviewed well, but someone else had more relevant experience". I've applied and interviewed for jobbridge positions also but the competition for those is even crazy. E.g. I was one of 4 shortlisted for interview out of over 70 applicants for one jobbridge position.

Lately things have gone from bad to worse as I had to move back into the family home. I have never had a good relationship with my brother, he has depression and has constantly been a source of problems for myself and my family. I can only have so much sympathy for him, I won't go into the things he has done to me but suffice to say it stresses me out to even be in the same room. He lost his job recently and also lives at home.

My parents have never had a wonderful relationship, they broke up on and off when I was a child. Recently my dad had what we think is a mental breakdown and has left the family home. He is on anti-depressants now and attending counselling but he's drinking heavily on a daily basis so I'm not sure how much progress is being made. He is not capable of talking to anyone about it. My mother is up and down. I guess because we are no longer young she is not trying to hide anything anymore and she spends most evenings drinking wine, crying and chain smoking.

I just feel completely overwhelmed. I'm not sleeping properly, I'm getting anxiety attacks. I feel like I don't even have one person in my family thats strong enough to lean on. I have a boyfriend of 2 years who tries to understand but theres only so much he can do and I feel like that relationship is suffering so much that its inevitably going to end. I feel completely trapped. I can't move, I have had zero success in finding a job. I've considered moving abroad but my boyfriend basically said if I do thats it.

To top it off I've started to have some problems with food. Like... struggling to make myself eat. Most days I get through ~800 calories. I've lost a good bit of weight and if I really think about whats behind it I think the reason is that I almost want to be sick... just so that someone notices and gives a **** about me. Which is probably really pathetic.

blatantrereg

Horrible situation. All I'll say is that the panic attacks combined with the eating issues warrant the attention of a doctor. Go to a GP who lists mental health as one of their areas of expertise. Not dismissing the other content of your post; I just don't have anything else useful to say