I have hit a brick wall and don't know what to do

BMBM123

I have been feeling horrible the past few days but tonight I have hit a wall. I feel so stressed and exhausted. I cried all the way home and sat in a room alone crying for an hour when I got home. I am a student nurse so work 4 days a week in the hospital and the rest of my days working part time to pay for the course. I am up at 5.45 every morning since I am living at home and have to travel 1 hour each way to get to both. I am all over the place with sleep and have exams and assignments that I cant focus on. I cant remember the last time I seen my friends or done anything with them, I dont even ring them because I am too tired to talk to them and have nothing good to say. I was seeing a guy who I loved spending time with but he abruptly ended things by text because he was depressed about his ex and havent really spoke to him since. I tried texting him and asking how he was feeling but got no reply which devastated me more because I miss him so much. My brother is also going through a hard time and loves spending his weekends in the pub as a result and knocks on our door at 3am waking the whole house, this stresses my mum out with worry aswell. I tried phoning my ex of 7 years to talk (we are still friends) and he told me I was being dramatic that its like and hung up. I started slurring my words I don't know why or how and he accused me of being drunk (I haven't drank in over a year) All I want to do is sleep until Christmas is over. I cant think further that 5 minutes and i feel like my brain is frozen. Am I being dramatic? I cant see any light at the end of this tunnel

P. Breathnach

Poor you!

Stress can bring on depression. I think you should see your GP as soon as possible.

Semele

You're not being dramatic! You do however sound like you're under a huge amount of sustained pressure and that you're feeling the understandable effects of it.

I think you should go and speak to your doctor about how you've been feeling. They would be able to advise you regarding some supportive counselling and/or medication. I also think that you should speak to your course about the strain you've been under. If you've got so much pressure from having to work, and from family issues, it's going to affect your ability to manage your course demands. There may be student support in place to help with grants etc that would take some of the financial pressure off and give you some breathing space. I presume you have a personal tutor or similar? They might be able to give you some extra support and check in regularly with how things are- it would be good for them to know what's going on as early as possible in case you need extensions for assignments or any time off (your doctor will be able to give you a sick note if you decide together that this is necessary for a bit to get back on track).

Don't be afraid to tell people what's going on and to ask for help. It isn't easy when your experiences are dismissed by others (like your ex) but professionals have a duty of care and (with any luck) will have a bit more cop on!

Anyway, good luck with everything and please try not to be so hard on yourself. Anyone would be having a hard time in your situation and we are always so much harder on ourselves than on someone else. Try to cultivate an attitude of sympathy and care towards yourself, in the way you would to a friend:)

Oink

Op, sorry to hear how hard things are for you at the moment.

There's some good advice here. You did the right thing in asking for help, keep at it. Find the people who will help you.

Start with your GP. Maybe the Samaritans could help. It is very, very important that you talk to someone.

Merkin

You poor old thing, you sound totally overwhelmed. I always think that when problems are all consuming like this that it's good to start small and tangible benefits occur organically as a result. So I'd say stick with your nursing hours but instead of working the entire remainder of the time, take even that half day or day for yourself to be entirely self indulgent. Even just to lounge in your pyjamas or meet your buddies or go for a bracing walk. Life shouldn't be ALL work and no play and it sounds like you've got yourself into a complete rut to the detriment of everything else. Take that weekly time out for yourself and it would be a good start xx

blatantrereg

I don't think working seven days a week is good for anyone. When you add the other stresses into the mix too it isn't surprising that you are so distressed.

I think you need to reduce your part time work to two days a week instead of four, or perhaps quit it completely. There shouldn't be much trouble getting a student loan to cover your fees - or delaying paying it back if you already have one. Nurses don't usually have a problem finding work. I don't think your current workload is maintainable.

Do contact your friends. You don't have to be entertaining all the time or feel the need to talk a lot. Basic courtesy is enough and if you mention your situation is exhausting most people will understand that. It seems clear that you need emotional support from your post, and it seems like you are looking for it in the wrong places.

Emme

blatantrereg wrote: »

I don't think working seven days a week is good for anyone. When you add the other stresses into the mix too it isn't surprising that you are so distressed.

I think you need to reduce your part time work to two days a week instead of four, or perhaps quit it completely. There shouldn't be much trouble getting a student loan to cover your fees - or delaying paying it back if you already have one. Nurses don't usually have a problem finding work. I don't think your current workload is maintainable.

OP I might get blasted for this but I think you heading into burnout if you are not already burnt out. The crying and feeling of being overwhelmed could be a sign of this. I would advise you to see your GP asap and discuss how you feel. You cannot work 7 days a week without adequate sleep and in a continually stressed state.

Does your college have a student counselling service? Perhaps they could advise you on how you could lighten your workload. Is there any way you could move out of home closer to where you work or study? Nursing is very demanding and it seems unfair that the OP is under so much pressure to get her qualification this way. My mum, like many other nurses of the time lived in a nurses' home beside the hospital where she worked while she was training. They had exams but didn't have the same academic demands as student nurses do now. They found that hard enough so I can imagine how tiring a long commute, family stress, exams and second job is on top of that. If you had to give up friends, boyfriends and all the "fun" parts of life it must be seriously draining.

You cannot go on this way. Get help now or you could end up seriously ill.

Rubberchikken

OP you're not being dramatic. you need to physically and mentally rest and to do that something has to give.

is there any way to cut back on the part time job. if you don't deal with this now you could end up being forced to stop through illness.
could you speak to your gp?

take care

sadie06

Can I ask how far into your course you are, and how many years of this you have ahead of you? The reason I ask is if this is your final year for instance, this level of stress is to be expected, and there is not one amongst us who crossed the finishing line of a degree without coming near to breaking point. If it is your final year, I think you need to seek every support available to you such as counselling provided by the college, academic support, and mature student support if you are in that category. Find out about every possible support available. Also, make your course coordinator and relevant tutors aware of your current difficulties immediately. A medical cert will serve you well in this regard.

If you have several years of this ahead of you however, I think more permanent solutions need to be found. You can't change the location of your college, but you can seek work closer to home. It is only part time as you say, so take anything, absolutely anything that allows you the get up later, get home earlier and have less responsibility.

I really don't envy you the hard slog ahead, but it will be so worth it! Keep looking forward.

LegacyUser

Hey op. Just thought I'd throw my two cents in. Look out for my fellow nurses. It's extremely easy to get stressed out as a student nurse as the sheer volume of actual practical work you're expected to do for free whilst trying to finance your education is incredible.

I once worked twenty days straight between my clinical placements and my job just to pay the bills. Had to leave my family home the in 3rd year after getting into a physical altercation with my violent father, so I was stressed out, told my lecturers that I wasn't going to do my exams as I didn't have to right mind to pass them- felt like I was gonna drop out.

Best advise he gave me was sit the exams, if you fail, so what at least you tried-- and you can always manage your time better over the summer to study for repeat assignments.

I worked two jobs my final year of student nursing and failed 3 of my finals as I didn't put enough effort into study, but I passed my exams in autumn and am relatively happy with my job at present.

You have to learn to have better coping mechanisms for stress in nursing because, believe me it is very challenging and you can burn out easily. Hopefully you can use your time as a student to manage your own time and independence better for when you graduate : )

Stick at it