Being undervalued and falsely accused of cheating....how did it make you feel?

garbyelda

Just came out of a relationship which lasted for 7 years...half way through my ex partner chose to split up with because he wanted to meet other girls, a week later he went on a date with another girl. Somehow we got back together, but a few months later he chose to split up again, for the same reason. During that time we still were seeing each other as "friends" because he didn't want a relationship. A few months later I start getting tired of our "no relationship", I really love him but I was feeling like a fool, waiting on somebody who actually was interested in everybody else except me, so I decided to give myself a chance to meet other people too. I also tried to have no contact with him, but somehow (again) we got back together.

For the last year we had so many problems because I went on those dates... also he decided, I cheated on him in different times of our relationship...It didn't matter that it was absolutely untrue; he imagine it, so it was totally real to him. So real, that he started to make up all these horrible stories about me.

For that reason, we broke up once again, he says he loves me and cares about me but he doesn't want a relationship because he doesn't trust me and he thinks everybody eventually cheats, that it is just a game. For months now, i go through the lowest time of my life...he managed to destroy me emotionally and mentally...kept insisting i have to confess when actually i haven't done anything...i offered him the chance to save our relationship...counselling , offered him the chance to check up mobile phone, check my PC...His answer was NO...because he knows better... i challenged him to bring me the evidence and he never done it or I deleted any evidence...

The last time I talked with him, he confess me he was seeing someone else, that wasn't my bussiness and that I was an hypocrit because I did the same thing to him.... that now I he was showing me how he felt when I went on those two dates.

He pulled me down with false accusations and I tried hard to hold my head high and walk past him. It's a damnable thing, but the truth always has a way of coming to the surface...

Mr. Incognito

People who are insecure are generally that way because they are unfaithful and believe the other partner is at the same.

Your mistake was staying in contact when he said he wanted to date other people. Your relationship ended then.

He sounds like manipulative scum. Cut him out of your life. He is abusing you.

LegacyUser

garbyelda wrote: »

Just came out of a relationship which lasted for 7 years...half way through my ex partner chose to split up with because he wanted to meet other girls, a week later he went on a date with another girl. Somehow we got back together, but a few months later he chose to split up again, for the same reason. During that time we still were seeing each other as "friends" because he didn't want a relationship. A few months later I start getting tired of our "no relationship", I really love him but I was feeling like a fool, waiting on somebody who actually was interested in everybody else except me, so I decided to give myself a chance to meet other people too. I also tried to have no contact with him, but somehow (again) we got back together.

For the last year we had so many problems because I went on those dates... also he decided, I cheated on him in different times of our relationship...It didn't matter that it was absolutely untrue; he imagine it, so it was totally real to him. So real, that he started to make up all these horrible stories about me.

For that reason, we broke up once again, he says he loves me and cares about me but he doesn't want a relationship because he doesn't trust me and he thinks everybody eventually cheats, that it is just a game. For months now, i go through the lowest time of my life...he managed to destroy me emotionally and mentally...kept insisting i have to confess when actually i haven't done anything...i offered him the chance to save our relationship...counselling , offered him the chance to check up mobile phone, check my PC...His answer was NO...because he knows better... i challenged him to bring me the evidence and he never done it or I deleted any evidence...

The last time I talked with him, he confess me he was seeing someone else, that wasn't my bussiness and that I was an hypocrit because I did the same thing to him.... that now I he was showing me how he felt when I went on those two dates.

He pulled me down with false accusations and I tried hard to hold my head high and walk past him. It's a damnable thing, but the truth always has a way of coming to the surface...

I'm sorry to say, but you and he do not belong together. This guy is a head wreck of the highest order. If he is seeing someone else then let it be. Good riddance to him, and God help her.

This guy wants to play the field, but he's not willing to let you be happy. He has to keep dangling you along, just enough bait to make sure you're still interested, then off he goes again. As for this cheating business, he's trying to justify his own d.ickhead behaviour towards you.

Drop this guy like a hot potato and don't buy into anymore of his shít. Find a guy that will treat you well, and for fk sake.. One that can commit to you! You deserve better than this headmelter.

pookie82

It's pretty clear to even the most casual reader that he was accusing you of cheating because he was more than likely at it himself. In an effort to side track his own guilt/behaviour he fabricated his imaginary evidence and tortured you for it instead.

Whatever about his need to play the field and cast you aside periodically, the above is far more sinister. It's emotional and mental abuse to the point where if it continued, he might eventually have had even YOU doubting you had cheated. That's how these people operate.

Stop engaging with him. Stop trying to prove your innocence. It's a waste of time and will serve no purpose other than maybe to encourage him to up his game and spread lies about you.

Fact is, he's finally gone from your life and it's the perfect opportunity for you to realise what a horrible person he is, accept that there's nothing you can (or would want to, at this stage) do to change that, and build a new life for yourself far, far away from this man.

garbyelda

Thanks guys, I appreciate your answers.

professore

He's an asshole of the highest order and only cares about you in the sense you prop up his pathetic ego by putting up with his bull. Find a real man to date.

CaraMay

You say that ye 'somehow' got back together? How did that happen? Was it the path of least resistance for him? The easy way out? I know a guy who recently got back with his girlfriend of ten years because he found the dating scene too full of drama. It's not because he couldn't live without her, it's because she was the path of least resistance, the easy road.

Tbh he is probably calling you a cheat to act as a smokescreen for his own behaviour. He is certainly doing it to control you. Time to forget counselling with him and for you to go to it alone.

Time to dust yourself down op and walk away from this selfish loser forever. Never be someone's second choice.