Boyfriend & house

LegacyUser

I will try to keep this as brief as possible, my boyfriend and I signed a lease on a flat for €900. He ran his own business and I am working with a financial brokers earning about €1200 a month. I have been paying my half of his bills, but sadly his business fell apart in a number of days last month and rent is due next week. I have paid all the bills so far and will have two thirds of the rent next week. He was offered two jobs in the past week and has fecked up both of them, I know he is very depressed so I suggested taking medical leave. His business wasn't old and he has lots of stamps.

He could cover half the rent and I could manage to pay bills and feed him. He has agreed but he keeps bringing it up that he should go home. Basically he is holding me ransom and saying he's not prepared to pay even one third of the rent that is due in less than a week. I don't drive so it wouldnt be possible for to keep the job I have if I moved home. Our landlord is actually a barrister and I don't see him being too sympathetic about us leaving.

We would only have to survive like this for a little while and we would be better off than we had been when his business was still going. He just can't see this. Or am I the blind one, does he just want to leave.

Matteroffact

First of all why do you think that you will only have to survive this for a little while longer and then be better off than ever? Does he still have the business or what? If he still has the business why is he being offered two other jobs. I don't really understand what position he is in now.

If he has no job then he probably feels he cannot afford to pay the rent and then have no money left so he would prefer to go home. Can you go home too and look for another job? You cannot stay in this apartment and be solely responsible for the rent. If he is not prepared to pay his half of the rent then you don't have a choice but to go home.

Your circumstances at the moment are not conducive to living with this guy but that doesn't mean it is the end of the relationship. You can't stay in the apartment while he is not earning so best go home and get yourself sorted in another job and don't move in with him again until things are more established with him and his job. Really sorry that your job is at stake because of all of this, is there any way that you could find accommodation for yourself and stay in the job?

Emme

Could you contact Threshold or the PRTB and explain your situation to them? You may have certain options if you have been in the apartment less than 6 months.

LegacyUser

Basically his business was a fairly new one and he lost everything but a couple of grand and he's very depressed about it. He got two bar work jobs but he got upset during his first days. I can't really move home because i don't drive so the commute would be mean having to take two buses and a train.

We have come to a solution that we will pay here until mid December and then let the landlord know we are in trouble. Hopefully he doesn't go too mental.

LegacyUser

Emme wrote: »

You may have certain options if you have been in the apartment less than 6 months.

Not when they've signed a lease. I assume OP you signed a 1 year lease. Are you both down on the lease OP? You need to sit down with your OH and discuss things. I know things are stressful for him and it sucks that his business has gone belly up but he's an adult with responsibilities he needs to face up to. If your both on the lease then he needs to pay his share.

Legally your LL can keep your deposit and come after you for the outstanding rent but if you can no longer afford the place you need to speak to the LL ASAP, don't go waiting until you have no money for rent left. I had something similar but was able to come to an agreement with the LL, I agreed to them finding someone else to take over the lease, I was flexible in allowing viewing (within reason) and left the place spotless when I moved out and he actually gave me my full deposit back. Legally your LL doesn't have to follow that example but you won't know unless you speak to them.

Why do you need to move home? Why can't you (just you) rent a room in a house share near your work?

LegacyUser

I don't have money for the deposit really, I could look for somewhere alright but I'm also wary about the landlord as he is a barrister, probably wouldn't cost him anything to chase us. He's taking no responsiblity for the money he owes for and I think whats hurting the most is that he is just walking away after everything. This morning he wanted to break up and packed his things, then he calls from the bus station saying how he can't lose me. I know it's the depression and he's not himself, but he's taking me down with him.

tinz18

Is it a one bed flat or two-bed? i.e. is there any chance you could get someone to fill the second room if there is one? It's not fair on you that he's placing on the responsibility on you while he runs home to his parents. Who's idea was it to move in together?

LegacyUser

It's a one bed and the third home we have shared together, we are only together 2 years though. I have the rent for November and il possibly get it together for December but with nothing to extra to live on. Il get a bonus in christmas. But all this aside, am I stupid for waiting around a man who runs off to his daddy when the going gets tough. We would have survived if he had taken the job, I just can't believe he is doing this to me.

Penny Tration

Ophere wrote: »

It's a one bed and the third home we have shared together, we are only together 2 years though. I have the rent for November and il possibly get it together for December but with nothing to extra to live on. Il get a bonus in christmas. But all this aside, am I stupid for waiting around a man who runs off to his daddy when the going gets tough. We would have survived if he had taken the job, I just can't believe he is doing this to me.

saw your other post in another forum, and frankly - you'd be a fool to wait around for him.

Depression or not, he has walked out on you and left you absolutely screwed financially. That's not love. Let him go.

tinz18

Personally if my fella left me in the lurch like that with rent it'd be the end of us. I always worry about my finances so it would be a burden too many. However, I've also been depressed and I know how narcissistic one becomes when down so I don't want to say throw him away either. Have you looked over all his behavior the last two years and weighed up the pros and the cons? Is this just another hit in a string of disrespectful and uncaring actions from him?

I would definitely say to your landlord about the money problems, he's less likely to be unreasonable if you give him heads up. Is there anyone that could loan you the deposit for a new room in a house-share?

Emme

OP, I saw your post in the Accommodation and Property forum. OK, your boyfriend is depressed and he has is going through a tough time. Even so managing money together is a crucial part of a relationship. You need to be able to work together through tough times.

See if you can beg borrow or steal the deposit for a houseshare and talk to your landlord.

LegacyUser

I know that, sadly he just rang to say he's going to be hospitalised, doctors have signed committal orders. I think the problem is going to be a lot bigger than a simple money issue.