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Friend problem

  • 11-11-2014 12:13pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi guys,

    Probably a small problem in the grand scheme of things.

    A friend of mine has recently become very distant & only texts back on the off occasion, any time I bring up the subject I'm told that I only text when I want something which is blatantly not the case. We would be close friends but things are only getting worse & mot sure how to bring up the topic without causing aggro.

    One part of me is telling me that I should just let it go & keep quite & things will turn around, another part of me wants to just go mad at him & let him do what he wants & not to worry about it as I already have enough on my plate to think about without a childish problem like this affecting me (which unfortunately it is).

    The guy in question is unemployed & is seems happy to remain that way, I have no issue with this but in his spare time has starting smoking hash & I'm thinking it may be down to this & when we were younger he would sometimes get caught up with the "wrong" crowd. I'd be afraid he would end up going to them & causing problems for him down the line which I would feel guilty about even though it has nothing to do with me.

    Basically just wanted to see what your opinion on it is & if anyone was in a similar position ?

    Thanks.


Comments

  • #2
    Shrap
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,163 ✭✭✭Shrap


    Unsure123 wrote: »
    A friend of mine has recently become very distant & only texts back on the off occasion, any time I bring up the subject I'm told that I only text when I want something which is blatantly not the case. We would be close friends but things are only getting worse & mot sure how to bring up the topic without causing aggro.

    Well, my opinion is that you're not responsible for who your friend hangs out with or the choices they make. I don't want to sound harsh, but I also think your friend is choosing not to be your friend any more. You say you're close, but tbh, no close friend says that you're only texting when you want something if that is clearly not the case.

    People do drift away from friendships, and hurtful as that might be, it's often for the reason that they start to have less in common and come to a point where there's little understanding left between them. I would let him go OP - and try to have no hard feelings over it. Somewhere down the line you may reforge your friendship under different circumstances.


  • #3
    Stavro Mueller
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,673 ✭✭✭Stavro Mueller


    I wonder does he feel you're judging him in some way?

    Shrap's right on the money I feel. This has all the hallmarks of a friendship that's drifting away and you'd be better off to leave things be. I can't see things ending well as it stands. It's easier to pick up a lapsed friendship than one that ended in some sort of blow-out


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