Afraid to kiss anyone - So unconfident now

musicalme

As a very social person I go out a lot with my friends and co-workers. However the past few weeks when i've been out a friend of mine keeps trying to kiss me (he did have drink on him on all occasions). I've said no all times but I have always liked him. Its like i'm too afraid to as I've just come out of a 4 year relationship a few months ago. I was so miserable with my ex that i think its made me put up a block wall with anyone else. Ill be dancing like a lunatic on the dance floor but as soon as a guy comes near me ill just walk away.

Anyway my question is to the ladies, is there any advice you can give me to knock down this brick wall I have (confidence) and should I let my friend kiss me? I do like him but not sure if its a good idea as he had drink on him!

Thanks a mill,
MM x

Shrap

In my opinion OP, your "brick wall" is actually your better judgement. A few months out of a long term relationship anyone would be feeling up and down and sideways about how they feel about getting into anything emotionally charged again, until they are steadier. People are vulnerable at that time, and prone to mistakes like one night stands that they aren't emotionally ready for, or not seeing that someone is taking advantage.

I think your "brick wall" is a sense of self preservation. Do you feel the need to get it on with someone (anyone) yet? If not, then trust your feelings. You're not ready. If this fella who keeps trying it on with you isn't also asking you for a date while he's sober (when you are ready for one), then it's possible he's not considering your recent break-up and vulnerability.

If it was a year down the road from your break-up, I'd be saying yes maybe you're putting obstacles in your way for no good reason. Now though....? Take your time. This "brick wall" may fall down by itself if you meet someone you actually feel right about.

road_high

Are you sure you are ready OP? It takes time to try over these things and into the groove with new people.

ThatFatGal

Is this the friend who has a gf and that you wished he had never met her? The guy who keeps yis hanging out secret from the gf?

I think you should defo kiss and maybe date - and let the poor gf go and find someone who actually respects her.

musicalme

ThatFatGal wrote: »

Is this the friend who has a gf and that you wished he had never met her? The guy who keeps yis hanging out secret from the gf?

I think you should defo kiss and maybe date - and let the poor gf go and find someone who actually respects her.

Nope diff person all together

Penny Tration

Doesn't sound like much of a friend to me. A friend would respect you saying no, not keep trying it on.