Bob's your uncle! Or is he?

enda1

Background: I've notice recently that many of my friends from other European countries refer to their aunt's or uncle's spouse as their uncle or aunt also.

Eg. Conor's mother's sister, Jill marries Dave. Is Dave Conor's uncle?!?

For me that person would always be the husband of Conor's aunt.

What say ye? Is the standard in Ireland that your aunts and uncles are blood relatives, or does marriage transform them to aunts and uncles?

Surely the term "in-law" could be used instead or does that get ugly? If this could divorces do you suddenly lose an uncle?

Reoil

I don't say "ye".

The Backwards Man

No!

Uncle Dave. Anything else would be very unusual around here.

Lapin

Mike. You're not a true Irish person unless you have an uncle Mike.

Although Marty Morrissey gets a pass here.

Oink

Yup. We are also going to train Junior to call some of our best friends auntie and uncle. They certainly do the work, so they might as well get the recognition.

EDIT: Except Uncle Dad. He's barred.

Matt_Trakker

No!

Your uncle or aunt-in-law would be your partner's aunts and uncles.

Pretty obvious that if your aunt marries a man he becomes your uncle.

McTigs

No!

In our family the wives/husbands of blood relatives have always enjoyed equal aunt/uncle status.

In fact i'd say i was probably 12 before i fully knew which ones were blood and which ones weren't.

Never understood the whole "aunt/uncle in law" thing

Tiddlypeeps

No!

I refer to them as aunts and uncles, even after divorce. Thats probably not be technically correct, it's just what I've always done. I've a niece and nephew that refer to my partner as their uncle even tho were not married.

enda1

Just me then

McTigs

No!

also, i do have an uncle robert who is my dads brother, so in anyones book Bob is my uncle.

stimpson

Both Wikipedia and Websters dictionary stake that Bob is indeed your Uncle. I assume aunt Roberta is also your uncle after gender reassignment surgery.

Summer wind

No!

I would always think of my uncles and aunts just as my uncles and aunts. Some of my friends do say things like "my aunts husband" alright but to me they're all the same.

Balmed Out

No!

enda1 wrote: »

Just me then

My wife is the same as you. When I refer to my nieces and nephews as ours and vice versa she looks visible uncomfortable with the idea. Her family though close knit never did that. As a previous poster mentioned I was probably into my second decade before I knew which were blood and which not with the odd exception.

Mr. CooL ICE

I was brought up to call all my aunts' and uncles' spouses aunt and uncle too. It wasn't until I was an adult that this was not necessarily the norm.

It rolls off the tongue easier to say "I am visiting my aunt and uncle" than "I am visiting my uncle and his wife".

enda1

The thing I don't get with those who see it as obvious, is that you wouldn't do it for any other relative. You wife's sister doesn't become yours, neither do her parents, grandparents, cousins etc.

So why her nieces and nephews?

Balmed Out

No!

enda1 wrote: »

So why her nieces and nephews?

Couples are usually together when meeting nephews, nieces etc?

anncoates

I always genuinely thought of the spouses of my blood uncles/aunts as my uncles/aunts when I was growing up.

I 'inherited' a sh1t load of nephews/nieces when I married my wife and I do think of them as nieces/nephews albeit secretly not perhaps as much as my blood nephews/nieces.

Also some of my favorite 'aunts/uncles' as a kid were in fact my Ma and Da's close friends, as is the case with my kids now with some of our closest fiends.

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1

No!

The dictionary definition of Uncle -
the brother of one's father or mother or the husband of one's aunt.
an unrelated older male friend, especially of a child.

Matt_Trakker

No!

enda1 wrote: »

You wife's sister doesn't become yours, neither do her parents, grandparents, cousins etc.

So why her nieces and nephews?

eh....sister-in-law, mother-in-law
And yea, they are your nieces and nephews since you're their uncle.

Although I've never ever called them uncle X or aunt Y, just first names. Titles don't get used in my family, thankfully.

RhubarbCrumble

As a child my aunt's husbands were referred to as uncles and my uncle's wives as aunts. Nowadays they're all just called by their first name, though I do know adults who still refer to their aunts and uncles as "Auntie Mary and Uncle Tom" etc.

indigo twist

No, to me they were always uncles/aunts "in law". Definitely wouldn't think of them the same as my actual aunts and uncles. I'd refer to them as a couple as the "blood relative" first - e.g. Auntie Jane and Sean, or Uncle Gary and Mary. It would feel weird calling someone my aunt or uncle if they, well, weren't! Similarly my partners nieces/nephews will always be his, not mine - and vice versa.

Agricola

No, for me it's the same as step brothers/sisters. It's not the same as a blood connection.

I have an aunt who has been married for 40 years. They never had any kids. She has always said that when the time comes, she has assets to leave to her nieces and nephews. When her husband passes away, he has willed assets to his own side of the family. If he outlives her, the house will be willed to someone on his side. Nothing wrong with that, sounds fine to me, but underlines how "in-laws" are "in-laws" in the end.