Not able to handle the pressure?

LegacyUser

I'd describe myself as an introverted person who has a good ability to read people and have a knack at identifying problems and fixing them. I have a quite cheeky sense of humor and will express my honest opinion in groups, tbh I probably even prefer to take the opposite view to see the discussion it creates and what comes from that, challenge people and prod them till they say what they really think.

I'm now in my mid twenties, and in almost every job I've had, started off near the bottom and progressed upwards fast enough, although I create disagreement among managers, some see me as trouble and a bad example, others have defended me and set me extra responsibilities/projects. In a few jobs, I've become the go to man for some management and find myself working alongside people from various departments to essentially come up with a solution to a problem. I think i'm good at that, as I like to learn and ask questions, so for example, i'll ask to go to lunch/pints after work with each team within a company and individuals when I join the company, learn about them and what they do, whats the story etc and who gets things done. Tbh, I do it because it makes my life easier and in the long term will make less work for myself.

My issue is, I end up taking too many responsibilities, too fast and whilst I enjoy fixing problems, I don't want to manage people or deal with office politics, which you have to stick your oar in if your operating across various teams. Without the authority of a senior manager, it can be very difficult to deal with some in their team silos, they have their way of doing things and who is the new person etc. I've even got into heated arguments with the managers who like me.

Eventually I burn out, I don't have great stress management skills and find clashing with people is exhausting. A good thought provoking argument is great and energizes me, a clash of personalities and when people accept mediocrity just kills me. I also tend to start to resent management as I feel like an under-appreciated middle man.

Do yous think this is a case of me having too much of an ego or not the skills to handle the responsibilities, or have I been mismanaged perhaps? Even in my 1st job where I was the youngest in a tech company, I advanced fairly rapidly and before I left, was been offered a line management position, which would have been my 2nd promotion in the space of around 8 months. I left because I wanted to attend college, but anyways by that stage, I was starting to take early days off due to tension headaches and feeling tired. This was during the start of the recession mind you.

Autonomous

Tbh...the answer is in your post, read it yourself, look at all the times you upset the work environment...you come across as arrogant, pushy, agressive.
You need to chill and fall into a passive and calm work ethic.

LegacyUser

Thanks for the reply, I appreciate it. Probably a fair call to say i'm some of the above. I find taking things in a more even stride to be difficult, I guess you could say I have a chip on the shoulder and looking to prove myself. I'm actually a pretty sensitive guy myself and take criticism/personal conflicts to heart, but in the workplace I can act in a pretty decisive manner. As my post suggests, some of this causes issues for me that I find difficult to deal with.

But on the other hand, whilst i've had some chewing up by management in a few jobs, I almost feel this is what is expected of me as I get increasing workloads and responsibilities because I take the initiative and get the job done. I'll take some risks and go beyond the scope of my current role. One day i'm getting a dressing down, the next they are giving me a promotion whilst the more chilled and consistent workers for lack of a better word stay in the same position for longer. (Although i'm gone of my own accord after burning out, longest i've stayed in one place is 18 months).

Clearly I have an issue here of self management and working with others, but even when I make a conscious effort in a new job to keep my head down and have a quieter life, I find myself falling into the same old patterns.

tenifan

I was like that. I'm 32 now and in my current job for 2 years. It's actually a chore sometimes trying to just keep the head down without criticising everything and anything, taking on a big workload and then getting bored of it.. but after years of flitting about from job to job I'm going to try to be a bit more patient in this one.

Autonomous

OP44444 wrote: »

Thanks for the reply, I appreciate it. Probably a fair call to say i'm some of the above. I find taking things in a more even stride to be difficult, I guess you could say I have a chip on the shoulder and looking to prove myself. I'm actually a pretty sensitive guy myself and take criticism/personal conflicts to heart, but in the workplace I can act in a pretty decisive manner. As my post suggests, some of this causes issues for me that I find difficult to deal with.

But on the other hand, whilst i've had some chewing up by management in a few jobs, I almost feel this is what is expected of me as I get increasing workloads and responsibilities because I take the initiative and get the job done. I'll take some risks and go beyond the scope of my current role. One day i'm getting a dressing down, the next they are giving me a promotion whilst the more chilled and consistent workers for lack of a better word stay in the same position for longer. (Although i'm gone of my own accord after burning out, longest i've stayed in one place is 18 months).

Clearly I have an issue here of self management and working with others, but even when I make a conscious effort in a new job to keep my head down and have a quieter life, I find myself falling into the same old patterns.

Maybe a bit of counselling would help...

TheBlock

OP sounds like someone who should be working for themselve in maybe a consultancey role. You'll not get far rubbing people up the wrong the way constantly hence you move around a lot.

mikemac1

You're very young OP, reading that post I would have pictured someone far older like a VP in their forties.

Some managers will accept your style and others will want nothing to do with you.

Maybe a steady PAYE job in an office isn't for you. You may have what it takes to be self employed if you wanted to go down that route, it's a big leap though but maybe do some research?

Wabbit Ears

From the OP you sound like you can talk a good game but your skills and experience dont match your ego.