Herpes issues

LegacyUser

Hey guys,

Questions and concerns, perhaps stemming from naivety on my part.

I have been seeing a girl for a little over two months now, talked for quite a bit longer. We get on quite well, same interests etc...

Before we slept together she told me she has genital herpes, obviously not easy for her to tell me and shows her care for me in telling me.

I actually am not familiar with what it fully entails, have looked it up but there is varying views on it and I am not sure what to believe or what to take from it. She takes meds to suppress breakouts so never has them but I know its still transmitted with or without protection.

We have slept together a few times using protection but I now know its getting pretty serious. We talked yesterday and I am not sure if I should keep going with it as I still have a stigma on the subject as I don't really know what to expect from the virus.

I already take meds for depression and I read a lot of herpes being associated with increased rates of depression due to the lifelong aspect of the virus.

I guess I am just not sure what to do, I know its selfish to consider breaking up with someone because of it, but at the same time I have this feeling that committing to it is like committing fully to the relationship to last a long time.

Can anyone shed any light on the area, or have any experiences similar

Neyite

Mod:

Op, I'm approving this thread so you might get others who could share their experiences but medical advice isn't allowed on this site.

lilblankdress2

Hi op, I honestly don't think you are selfish at all to consider breaking up over this issue. Herpes can be spread even with use of condoms. I think it would be a deal breaker for me so I can totally see where you are coming from.

I do think if you consider staying in the relationship then it may be well worth visiting a sexual health centre to get more information for yourself and what it may mean in your future.

Well done to her though for being honest with you

LegacyUser

Appreciate the reply

Its just such a hard decision to make, on the one hand we get on great and everything, but then there's always the chance we may break up in a few months and it'll be something that is spread....

I'm not sure what advice I am looking for I just would like experiences and opinion... Find myself unable to make a decision

Also I know medical advice is not allowed but am I allowed to ask for a good source of information with reliable information other than GP? I live abroad and the doctor I have here is very negligible

SkunkyDoodle

Hi Op,

A lot of stuff online can be a bit scary and overwhelming but the best site I found was the herpes viruses association, they have stuff for partners to read too.

LegacyUser

Hi, I don't think you're selfish. Health is extremely important. My friend has herpes. I know that she passed it to one of her partners over the years, having said that she has had a lot of partners so it's been a relatively low stat. My understanding of it is that its only contagious when it breaks out but don't take my word on that! If I was you though I would do my research and then make a decision based on that.

Neyite

NaiveNick wrote: »

Appreciate the reply

Its just such a hard decision to make, on the one hand we get on great and everything, but then there's always the chance we may break up in a few months and it'll be something that is spread....

I'm not sure what advice I am looking for I just would like experiences and opinion... Find myself unable to make a decision

Also I know medical advice is not allowed but am I allowed to ask for a good source of information with reliable information other than GP? I live abroad and the doctor I have here is very negligible

I would suggest a specialist STI clinic doctor might be more up to date than a GP. Are there good family planning or STI clinics in your area you can make an appointment with?