Did I handle this situation badly?

LegacyUser

I just started college this year and I've made 'friends' with this person who constantly mocks others and says mean things. This person slags people off and acts in a very egotistical manner. Whenever this person slags me, I joke it off and act as if I don't mind. This person can be nice when they want to be, but that's rarely. Yesterday, I was messing with my friend in class and things escalated to the point where this person started calling me retarded and an idiot, mocking my name, telling nobody to help me, dissing one of my friends who they don't even know or ever met. The person kept saying rude things to me and I kept acting as if it was okay but I was burning up and on the verge of tears. I turned back to my friend and that's when the person abruptly kicked my chair causing me to stumble over and I completly lost it. This is what I can remember saying loudly 'Nobody likes you. You are a f*cking *sshole, you are an idiot and you think you're so cool by slagging everyone off when in reality you're a pathetic little fool with no friends. You're in college, grow the f*ck up. Even my younger brother has more common sense than you, you d*ckhead.' I ended up storming out and reporting him to one of my classmates who is student rep and he said he'll talk to the person

CINCLANTFLT

Reporting him to the rep was probably a step too far... But rest sounds relatively reasonable to me...

Tokyo

While reactionary responses based purely on the emotion of the situation are never usually good, I'd be lying if I said I didn't think the guy had at least some of that coming. Could you have handled it better? Sure, no more than any of us can. Could it have been worse? Certainly. You kept your hands in your pockets where a lot of other people would probably have decked him, and you did the smart thing by letting the student rep know, and letting them take care of it from here on in.

leinsterdude

You did good feck him, well done.

Saralee4

sometimes people like that need to be told where to go or else it will just continue.

He was wrong, he almost reduced you to tears and he kicked your chair causing you to fall. Anyone would have lost it at that point so don't worry about it. What was the alternative? You could have said nothing and reported it I suppose but I think in this case, you needed to stick up for yourself.

You will either be his worst enemy or else he will steer clear of you because he will know that you wont take any crap.

What are you going to do if he apologizes?

Stavro Mueller

I think it's also a lesson for you going forward in life. Getting involved with people who behave like this has a habit of coming back to bite you at some stage. If they're capable of treating others like that, it's only a matter of time before they'll turn closer to home. You'll encounter people like this as you go through life and you've learned the hard way that you really need to keep them at arm's length and keep interaction to a polite minumum.

Yes you could argue that you could've handled it better but you're only a human being at the end of the day. You'd want to be ice-cold to withstand the barrage of personal abuse you'd faced before you flipped. You did the right thing by going to the class rep. I don't think this guy is going to do anything about it anyway because it'd just shine a spotlight on his behaviour. He's not going to do that.

All I can say to you is to try and put this behind you. It's a lesson learned and you need to ensure something like this doesn't happen again. It wouldn't surprise me if your classmates are secretly delighted that you did their dirty work for them. Just be careful not to tangle with him going into the future.

Stavro Mueller

Just to add a couple more thoughts. Don't assume that this is over. The best case scenario here is that this guy's just an obnoxious loudmouth who isn't quite so brave when he's pulled up on his behaviour. That once the class rep talks to him, he'll pull his horns in and behave himself.

On the other hand, he may turn out to be a nastier piece of work. He might not physically or verbally attack you in the open manner he did previously but resort to more subtle means. So be on your guard. I've worked in a few offices down the years where the behaviour of people would make you wonder was it a workplace or a kindergarten you were in. If you let bullies away with anything, it's a green light for them to continue what they're at. Don't let your reaction to his behaviour stop you from reporting him in the future.

Curry Addict

well done imho!
he basically assaulted you.
you stood up to him.
he will stear clear of you from now.
a good result.

Well done!!! What an ass!!!