We hit it off well

jenna1057

Hi everyone looking for a bit of perspective on this so here it goes, I've recently graduated from college and was back to celebrate for the week to celebrate with my friends. I ran into a guy from my course in a pub one of the evenings who I hadn't known that well as he had just transferred to our course but always found quite cute. Long story short we hit it off so well and spent the evening chatting and laughing and turned out we had loads in common. At the end of the night he was walking me to a taxi with my friends and said that we would love to meet up again soon and for us to hang out more and have me a kiss good night. The day after I got a text from him and when I had to travel home he said that I would have to come back and visit soon. texting went on for over a week, he sent such long messages and all of a sudden it stopped just after he had gone to the effort of adding me on Facebook. A little but confused whether I did something wrong even though I don't think I did since he seemed to be making all the moves and don't know what I should do or if the ship had sailed and leave it! Thank you :-)

Sauve

Hi OP,

I'm going to move this thread to Relationship Issues, I think you'll get good advice there

Sauve

retro:electro

First thing that jumps to my mind is there anything you have on facebook that may have put him off?

seenitall

jenna1057 wrote: »

Hi everyone looking for a bit of perspective on this so here it goes, I've recently graduated from college and was back to celebrate for the week to celebrate with my friends. I ran into a guy from my course in a pub one of the evenings who I hadn't known that well as he had just transferred to our course but always found quite cute. Long story short we hit it off so well and spent the evening chatting and laughing and turned out we had loads in common. At the end of the night he was walking me to a taxi with my friends and said that we would love to meet up again soon and for us to hang out more and have me a kiss good night. The day after I got a text from him and when I had to travel home he said that I would have to come back and visit soon. texting went on for over a week, he sent such long messages and all of a sudden it stopped just after he had gone to the effort of adding me on Facebook. A little but confused whether I did something wrong even though I don't think I did since he seemed to be making all the moves and don't know what I should do or if the ship had sailed and leave it! Thank you :-)

Other than the above FB thing, maybe the bolded is the problem, OP. In case you were being passive and just responding to messages? Have you initiated any texting/messaging with him yourself? For some people it might be a turn-off if the other person is not being about equally proactive in maintaining contact (I know it is for me).

In any case, I would text him to see what the story is, what have you got to lose? If it's still radio silence, then just move on. These things can happen (he may have met someone else on a night out, he may not be in the mood any more, he may have decided he doesn't like the idea of long distance, etc etc) and you may never know.

jenna1057

Thanks for the responses guys much appreciated! No literally not a thing on my Facebook just the regular graduation photos and that sort of thing :-), it's been a week now since I've heard anything and still thinking about the whole thing! It was all fun texting and i replied to a message of his last week but hadn't heard anything from him in a few days. I had a quick look again at my phone and it wasn't saying delivered! A few of my friends were heading away last weekend but I wasn't able to go and he had mentioned that he was thinking of going with his friends too so I was sending my friends a group message to have great Craic and all that stuff so I sent the group message to him too and it was delivered! Such a girl over thinking everything haha!

CaraMay

Call him and tell him your text didn't send. Take it from there

Typer Monkey

Have you initiated any of the contact? In other words have you texted first at all or are you just replying to his? He may be thinking you're not bothered. Why don't you contact him (preferably ring him but that's probably the just the 37 year old that I am talking ) and ask him to meet up? You've nothing to loose. Far better, I think, to take control of these things and know for sure rather than sitting about like a fair maiden waiting for a bloke to make all the moves. Equality in all things, including putting yourself out there!

DoYouEvenLift

Were you replying with equally enthusiastic/long messages?


Would really advise calling each other when you're both free also, would save a lot of time typing long texts and is also a lot more personal and about the moment


Edit: it's been a week since he texted, why not be the first to text him this time? If you're interested in the guy why wait but instead start a chat and be direct that you like him? Would more than likely help get things going. Some lads will test girls like this by the way, have done it myself. If we're the ones always sending the first texts and keeping the conversations going it can be a sign of lack of interest so sometimes the best thing to do is test that interest: if the girl contacts us within a few days then great, she seems interested, if the girl doesn't then too bad, onto the next girl. A week would still be within reason.

tara73

from my experience people who are so full on in the beginning it often ends how you describe it. the enthusiasm stops as strong as it begun.

often something is going on in that peoples lifes. could be a recent break up and he's just desperate and wanted distraction. But it's just speculation.
I got it you texted him back and didn't leave him hanging as others suspected.

but why don't you call him, talk to him in person. phone him and try to get a feeling what he's up to. tell him you would like to meet up.
all this texting and facebooking these days is just leading to confusion and second guessing and often nothing constructive is coming out of it.

LLMMML

It's long distance. Maybe not very long distance if you're in ireland but still long distance. People lose interest VERY quickly if it's a new thing and there's no face to face contact. If you're unlikely to be close enough to pursue a relationship anytime soon just let it go.

Matteroffact

It was exciting when it was happening but time has passed since with no physical contact, so in order to keep up the momentum you have to be meeting. He has already suggested meeting up with you, have you responded to that, if not why not text him and just say you will be in town on such a day and would he be interested in meeting up again as you both seemed to have enjoyed the meet up last time. You still have time to catch that ship

desbrook

Is he like this :

Hi everyone. A while back I met this really cool girl that was in my college class. I fancied her for ages but never really got the chance or nerve to talk to her until that night - after we had graduated. I even managed to suggest getting in touch again (so nervous) and texted her.

Thing is I just don't know where I stand. I fr'd her on fb and she added me but like big deal! I've messaged her and she replies but so what? Just to see was I being paranoid I decided to stop a second and she is she bothered - maybe I'm bugging her??

Anyway a whole week has gone by and nothing. She's not interested right?

Saralee4

I would agree with most people here and say its your turn to show him that you are interested by contacting him.

Also the whole long distance thing, sometimes there is only so much you can talk about without really meeting up. He probably thought by adding you on facebook that means that he wants to get to know you more but you haven't really done anything to show your really interested other than accepting and responding.

I would say he is like 'the balls in your court' now and also if you do meet up, it is going to have to be you suggesting it anyway because your either coming home or not. He cant ask you out because he's not going to assume that you will come home just to go out with him.

jenna1057

desbrook wrote: »

Is he like this :

Hi everyone. A while back I met this really cool girl that was in my college class. I fancied her for ages but never really got the chance or nerve to talk to her until that night - after we had graduated. I even managed to suggest getting in touch again (so nervous) and texted her.

Thing is I just don't know where I stand. I fr'd her on fb and she added me but like big deal! I've messaged her and she replies but so what? Just to see was I being paranoid I decided to stop a second and she is she bothered - maybe I'm bugging her??

Anyway a whole week has gone by and nothing. She's not interested right?

Haha that sounds exactly like my situation thats very strange!! Thank you so much for all the advice everyone I really appreciate it! Going to bite the bullet and get on to him tomorrow and see what the story is! Lifes too short and ive got nothing to lose!! 😊😊

kjl

I did this once too, was chatting to this girl I met on the street for a while via text, she then added me on FB and I wasn't really impressed with her pictures, so I cut contact in a similar fashion.

I don't know if this is what this guy is doing but I am just putting it out there.

diograis

kjl wrote: »

I did this once too, was chatting to this girl I met on the street for a while via text, she then added me on FB and I wasn't really impressed with her pictures, so I cut contact in a similar fashion.

I don't know if this is what this guy is doing but I am just putting it out there.

OP said she knew the guy from college, seems like he's fairly sure what she looks like... Go for it OP :P