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Worried about my brother

  • 01-11-2014 10:32pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    My younger brother suffers from mental health problems. He won't live in our home town or even go into a shop here as he seems to have some mental block about home. He moved to another town about an hour away where we have family.

    He had a wonderful girlfriend but split up with her which left him homeless. We got him help to get a flat and he gets some benefits as he is not able to work at present. He only has a few friends - a married couple who have a 2 month old baby and my cousin and her husband and they have 2 small children.

    Every so often he goes into paranoid and psychotic melt downs and panic attacks and I have to (and willingly do so) drop everything and go to him, take him to hospital or counselling and just generally be there for him. I just feel like I am worn out doing this.

    Tonight he messaged me on FB asking could I come to him coz he is bored and lonely. He said he never gets to go out coz no one will go out with him and he knows nobody. He really wants to socialise. He is not meant to drink coz of his meds but he does sometimes and this makes him more aggravated. He has been waiting for CBT but he missed out on it last time coz he moved out of the country for a while so now he is back to square one waiting for it.

    He wants to move to Scotland or somewhere now coz we have family there so he feels he will be able to make friends there and at least have some niteclubs that play his type of music.

    Anyway my problem is that I am always the one to pick up the pieces as one of my siblings doesnt live in Ireland and the other lives 2 hours away from him so because I am nearer it falls to me.

    I currently have a kidney and chest infection, am juggling being a single parent, am in college and acting in some plays so am absolutely worn out and just want to cry. I don't know how to help my brother any more than I have and need help to figure out what to do next.


Comments

  • #2
    Mark Tapley
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,193 ✭✭✭Mark Tapley


    Your brother is very lucky to have you . You help him as much as you can but should not be at his beck and call. I know this is hard with someone you love but if you don't go to him every time it might help him make changes in his life. Not working and living a solitary life can itself cause problems. He needs to find things to do (easier said than done I know) and hopefully this will improve his social life.
    I think there is only so much you can do and that he needs to help himself. Good luck.


  • #3
    Rubberchikken
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,093 ✭✭✭Rubberchikken


    i wish i had an answer for you but i don't.
    you're great to support him but you have your family and yourself to care for too.

    he seems to be taking his meds so if he feels that moving elsewhere would be good for him, then maybe he'll follow through.

    in the meantime, could you explain to him that you can't always drop everthing when he's bored or lonely?

    i know that dropping everything when he's unwell is a different thing and that can't be helped.

    take care of yourself


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