Facebook Privacy @ work

LegacyUser

I work in what is considered a community work field, and would know many people in the town where I am based. Because of the nature of the work, many of my conversations would be considered friendly and informal.
In recent days, I have received a Facebook friend request from someone whom I would consider a client ( I wouldn't usually refer to people this way, but it is the closest term I can use without going into job description)
I am clear about what I am going to do - mixing personal and professional is not a good idea and I have no intention of going there.
My question is this - how can I send a message saying this, without causing insult or upset and making it clear that this is not a personal rejection. I'm useless at this sort of thing so any advice/wording would be helpful. I'm terrified that any refusal to accept the request won't be taken well by the other person.

lifeandtimes

this ones pretty simple

just dont respond and just decline it

by not responding you are not admitting that youve seen the request and when you decline a friend request it doesn't inform that person they have been declined. So to them it may just be like you never seen it and unless they are a bit odd and this is something on top of their list of things they probably wont even notice or say it too you

Meathlass

Can you ignore it? Plenty of people don't have active FB accounts so they may just think you're one of them. It sounds like the person you're dealing with is vulnerable though. Do you think you need to give them an explanation for the refusal or can you just let it slide?

I'm in a slightly similar situation and I've dealt with it by being impossible to find online. My FB name is in Irish, my cover and profile photos are sports related icons, I've the highest security settings and I've set my account so that I can only get messages from people I know.

Tokyo

I wouldn't send a message - I would ignore it, which is something I do on a weekly basis on my own FB account. I have had clients try to add me in the past, and it's a rule of mine not to add them - last thing I want is something unsavoury inadvertently popping up on their news feed. And I've yet to meet a person who didn't implicitly understand that. IF they do kick up stink because OMGYOUDIDNTADDMEONFACEBOOK, then they probably aren't the kind of people you'd be adding as a friend anyways...

Rubberchikken

Just ignore bit.
Dont fo FB so I haven't a clue but guess you can do this.

m'lady

I know in my last job ( where I was a community worker) we were actually warned to not engage with the clients on Facebook or anything similar, and that also included swapping personal numbers, it was to protect both employee and client. Are you sure there's not the same type of policy in your workplace?

LegacyUser

You need to set look at the privacy settings you have set up on FB and maybe change them so that they are strictly private to you. I have had friend requests from people that know me through others but I don't these people and I haven't seen them in years. Just ignore the friend request or decline it.

Gyalist

Look up Facebook Help on creating Lists. I have a list called Prison that is completely locked down so that it appears to people on the list that my account is inactive.

Magicmatilda

A friedn of mine has her facebook set up under an assumed name to avoid this issue!

miamee

m'lady wrote: »

I know in my last job ( where I was a community worker) we were actually warned to not engage with the clients on Facebook or anything similar, and that also included swapping personal numbers, it was to protect both employee and client. Are you sure there's not the same type of policy in your workplace?

Even if there isn't, there is no harm in saying that there is if this person were to ask why you hadn't accepted them. I'd just ignore the friend request and say nothing about it unless asked.

The_Conductor

Just ignore it.
I've literally hundreds of requests that I've ignored over the last few years- and have recently done a major cull.......
I'd also suggest that its a good idea not to have your work colleagues in your Facebook 'friends' either.......

IlmoNT4

Ignore it and if they ever ask, tell them you dont use FB anymore...

Make sure all your privacy settings are set so the account only shows your name and profile picture..A lot of people dont have these settings correct and it can show pictures posts to FB wall or shows some photos. Theres an option under your FB account to view your page as a unfriended person so you can check your privacy settings.

LegacyUser

Thanks all for the advice. It's the first - and I'm sure not the last - time I've been faced with this.

I have fairly strong privacy settings - no profile picture, name in irish, and absolutely nothing on my public wall. So I was surprised to get the request in the first place. I'm obviously going to have to look at it again - I think there is a setting where people cannot actually friend request you at all.

The HR policy is a good idea! Will have to have a look at our responsible computer policy.

tenifan

FBquery wrote: »

Thanks all for the advice. It's the first - and I'm sure not the last - time I've been faced with this.

I have fairly strong privacy settings - no profile picture, name in irish, and absolutely nothing on my public wall. So I was surprised to get the request in the first place. I'm obviously going to have to look at it again - I think there is a setting where people cannot actually friend request you at all.

The person could have looked you up by your phone number or email address.

Personally, I'd probably accept the request but add them to the "restricted" list which shows no more info than they would see if they viewed your page as someone who isn't your friend. You can always do a cull down the line when you're no longer in contact with the person.

rainbowtrout

I'd ignore the request and if you are talking to that person again and they ask you about it, just say to them 'We have a policy at work that we can't add people on FB when we work with them in some capacity' It should do the job and at the same time make it sound like it's a regular thing you encounter and not a personal rejection of that person.

I wouldn't send them any message. If you do, you are engaging with them on FB and it will encourage them to message you back, which is not what you want.

I'm a teacher and have the same issue with students, which would open up a whole can of worms with them being underage, aside from the professionalism issue. I've had a few friend requests over the years and have said much the same to them when asked why I haven't accepted. 'We are not allowed to be friends with students on FB' and they accept it because it's not them being rejected (which they would have been anyway) but the notion of not being allowed to accept the request is much more palatable to them.

JohnMearsheimer

The nature of my girlfriend's job seems similar to yours. She works in a community field and her office offers a drop in service for the public. Most of her dealings with people would be friendly and informal. Some of people she deals with would have personal problems or mental health problems (the HSE refer people to her office sometimes). She was getting friend requests from people she was dealing with through work. She never accepted these requests but to put a stop to them she changed her name on Facebook.

She changed her name back to normal after about a year because the requests stopped and the day she did it she got a request from a girl that calls in to the office and likes to treat my girlfriend like a counsellor for her personal problems (that's not my girlfriend's job). What bothered my girlfriend (and me) about this was the speed at which this girl tried to add her as a friend on Facebook so soon after she changed her name back to normal.

My girlfriend was fretting about this because this girl calls into her office semi regularly. I told my girlfriend to tell to this girl that it was a workplace policy not to accept friend requests from people she deals with through work. She seemed to accept that when she asked my girlfriend why she didn't accept the request. My girlfriend changed her name again after all this.