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Tescos accounts may contain pork...

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  • 29-10-2014 10:15pm
    #1
    Tail Docker
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,954 ✭✭✭


    Anyone bright following the Tescos Accounts, erm, "issues"? Seems that the "horse-meat in the burgers" kerfuffle is going to be eclipsed by possibly huge levels of pork in their accounts pie. I'm vague on the details, anyone care to educate?


Comments

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    #2
    jamesbere
    Registered Users Posts: 5,022 ✭✭✭jamesbere


    There what pies


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    #3
    Tail Docker
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,954 ✭✭✭Tail Docker


    jamesbere wrote: »
    There what pies

    Accounts..pie...pork...porkie pies... ahh, shure you're no use...


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    #4
    Annasopra
    Registered Users Posts: 40,980 ✭✭✭✭Annasopra


    Theres this thing called google op. You could be educated there. Just type in "tesco accounts" and click on news.

    It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.

    Terry Pratchet



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    #5
    kowloon
    Registered Users Posts: 13,355 ✭✭✭✭kowloon


    That said, I won't ever have to eat their accounts.


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    #6
    Tail Docker
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,954 ✭✭✭Tail Docker


    Joeytheparrot wrote: »
    Theres this thing called google op. You could be educated there. Just type in "tesco accounts" and click on news.

    Sounds dull. I'd prefer my fellow intellectuals in AH to provide a bit of slant on it tbh..


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    #7
    jamesbere
    Registered Users Posts: 5,022 ✭✭✭jamesbere


    Tail Docker wrote: »
    Accounts..pie...pork...porkie pies... ahh, shure you're no use...

    Ok then moving on


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    #8
    Annasopra
    Registered Users Posts: 40,980 ✭✭✭✭Annasopra


    Tail Docker wrote: »
    Sounds dull. I'd prefer my fellow intellectuals in AH to provide a bit of slant on it tbh..

    Why did you ask for details then?

    It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.

    Terry Pratchet



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    #9
    Banjo String
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,380 ✭✭✭✭Banjo String


    Tail Docker wrote: »
    Sounds dull. I'd prefer my fellow intellectuals in AH to provide a bit of slant on it tbh..

    Seems some accountant misplaced 33 odd billion/million/grand (not entirely sure)

    My guess is, it's probably in the bagging area.


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    #10
    Tail Docker
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,954 ✭✭✭Tail Docker


    Joeytheparrot wrote: »
    Why did you ask for details then?

    By "details", I meant mad theories involving lizard people, the FBI, smart comments, people having a dig based on nothing more than personal prejudices. And mention of Aldi, Hitler and SF. Them sort of "details".


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    #11
    ytpe2r5bxkn0c1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 32,688 ✭✭✭✭ytpe2r5bxkn0c1


    It has something to do with ordering accounts online but a poorer quality substitute was delivered instead.


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    #12
    ytpe2r5bxkn0c1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 32,688 ✭✭✭✭ytpe2r5bxkn0c1


    Tail Docker wrote: »
    By "details", I meant mad theories involving lizard people, the FBI, smart comments, people having a dig based on nothing more than personal prejudices. And mention of Aldi, Hitler and SF. Them sort of "details".

    Ah OK! Some lizard people did the accounts this year as an attempt to evade the FBI who had made smart comments about last years accounts. Personally I think all FBI are left handed and shop in Aldi or Lidl for the weekly left handed tools offers. There is a suspicious link to Hitler, who was left handed and once attacked Tesco's 1938 accounts. Being lefties, SF are reportedly going to make the fraudulent accounts disappear and provide free groceries for all citizens.


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    #13
    Banjo String
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,380 ✭✭✭✭Banjo String


    Wade Worried Gemstone wrote: »
    Ah OK! Some lizard people did the accounts this year as an attempt to evade the FBI who had made smart comments about last years accounts. Personally I think all FBI are left handed and shop in Aldi or Lidl for the weekly left handed tools offers. There is a suspicious link to Hitler, who was left handed and once attacked Tesco's 1938 accounts. Being lefties, SF are reportedly going to make the fraudulent accounts disappear and provide free groceries for all citizens.

    In fairness, Lidl and Aldi don't just do offers for 'left handed tools'.

    I've seen loads of right handed folk comin out of the place with the trolleys full too.

    Everything in them from lbs of butter to snorkelling gear.


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    #14
    Deank
    Registered Users Posts: 7,238 ✭✭✭Deank


    Tail Docker wrote: »
    Anyone bright following the Tescos Accounts, erm, "issues"? Seems that the "horse-meat in the burgers" kerfuffle is going to be eclipsed by possibly huge levels of pork in their accounts pie. I'm vague on the details, anyone care to educate?

    The decimal point got lost, I believe it went to Superquinn shopping and was never seen again.


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    #15
    Cantremember
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,305 ✭✭✭Cantremember


    They gambled big time on a race between duck sized horses and horse sized ducks.


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    #16
    RobbingBandit
    Registered Users Posts: 18,098 ✭✭✭✭RobbingBandit


    Can't wait for the fire sale. With a fcuk up this large they may as well burn it all.


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    #17
    The Diabolical Monocle
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 2,618 ✭✭✭The Diabolical Monocle


    Does this compromise the availability of late night munchables ??

    please say no.


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    #18
    Cookie_Monster
    Registered Users Posts: 24,479 ✭✭✭✭Cookie_Monster


    It's just misrepresentation of income from suppliers, not the most exciting stuff tbh. Queue a long boring investigation, a bit of a fine and no real change to anything I reckon.


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    #19
    Nodster
    Registered Users Posts: 949 ✭✭✭Nodster


    I ate one of they're pie's the other week, tasted just like chicken


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    #20
    foggy_lad
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,373 ✭✭✭✭foggy_lad


    Nodster wrote: »
    I ate one of they're pie's the other week, tasted just like chicken

    But the beef pie should taste more like beefy type meat? Unless the chicken was on steeroids:-D


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    #21
    kjl
    Registered Users Posts: 3,127 ✭✭✭kjl


    Tail Docker wrote: »
    Anyone bright following the Tescos Accounts, erm, "issues"? Seems that the "horse-meat in the burgers" kerfuffle is going to be eclipsed by possibly huge levels of pork in their accounts pie. I'm vague on the details, anyone care to educate?

    Ok so basically, products can pay tesco a percentage of what they sell to be put in premium parts in the stores such as eye level, end caps or a promotional stand. Tesco included this extra revenue in it's accounting when they hadn't actually got it from the product manufacturers.


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