Stopping soother

Suucee

L is near 7 months and driving us up the wall waking at night.
Im really considering trying to stop the soother.
He only gets it at nap times and bedtime but can wake anything between 1 and 5 times a night and with a 2 and a half your old i just cant cope anymore.
So just wondering what age did you go about stopping it and how did you do it. I know most people wait until they are older though. But ive heard its easier when they are younger as not as attached.
any tips or advice.

Moonbeam

On my 1st I stopped it at 6 months and it was easy,my 2nd was an issue and only got it at bedtime and she was nearly 2 before we got her to sleep with out it,she left it out for the tooth fairy and got a packet of choc buttons in return.my 3rd had given it up by about 9 months and the 6 month old has hers.She likes it after a feed,I think it helps her reflux.
She puts it in and takes it out herself like a game!
My 1st was the only one that would spit it out and scream,I think if it is an issue and causing sleepless nights then maybe getting rid of it is the best option.

Suucee

Yea he uses it to go asleep. Then spits it out. Gets a bottle about 9/9.30 and normally gets it fo go back asleep then wakes numerous times for it. Tonight i didnt give it to him after the bottle. He gave out (eyes were closed) for a few seconds then not a peep. But what do i do if he wakes during the night?

RentDayBlues

Suucee wrote: »

Yea he uses it to go asleep. Then spits it out. Gets a bottle about 9/9.30 and normally gets it fo go back asleep then wakes numerous times for it. Tonight i didnt give it to him after the bottle. He gave out (eyes were closed) for a few seconds then not a peep. But what do i do if he wakes during the night?

Took soothers off both of mine between 7 and 9 months, first was easy, second took more work. She fell asleep fine without it but did wake, i lifted her, comforted her and put her back to bed, then it was cry it out, starting at 5 mins, 7, 10, 12 and 15. Took 3 nights.

Part of me now wishes I still had it, teething and a growth spurt mean I'm now feeding on demand at night and the sleep deprivation is horrendous

yellow hen

Not much help to you but we went through the same thing last year and in the end we decided not to stop the soother as I just couldn't face it. I started to put 5/6 soothers in his cot every night and shortly after he was able to grapple around in the dark himself and find one. He never gets it, or actually looks for it, during the day so I'm happy enough for him to have it at night.

Suucee

So as i said he never got it after bottle and slept through until 6.20. But was like a demon this morning so had to give in.
Giving him loads is pointless as he still cant put it in even if he finds it.
Im not sure what to do tbh

Hello Lady!

Suucee wrote: »

So as i said he never got it after bottle and slept through until 6.20. But was like a demon this morning so had to give in.
Giving him loads is pointless as he still cant put it in even if he finds it.
Im not sure what to do tbh

At 7 months he should be getting close now to putting it in himself. So once he can master that put it in his hand not.his mouth so that he learns to do it himself. In the meantime maybe encourage him to get the hang of putting it in his mouth himself.

My girls are 10 months and I'm not in a rush to get rid of it. I'll wait til they're at least a year as a soother is proven to reduce the incidence of sids. They only get it for naps or sleeping and the odd time for comfort if upset or unwell.

Suucee

Hello Lady! wrote: »

At 7 months he should be getting close now to putting it in himself. So once he can master that put it in his hand not.his mouth so that he learns to do it himself. In the meantime maybe encourage him to get the hang of putting it in his mouth himself.

My girls are 10 months and I'm not in a rush to get rid of it. I'll wait til they're at least a year as a soother is proven to reduce the incidence of sids. They only get it for naps or sleeping and the odd time for comfort if upset or unwell.

Yea he drives me up the wall . I dont understand why he cant get it in. He can pick it up no prob, guides it to his mouth but just cant put it in the right way. If it was food now he'd fairly manage it.
We went swimming this morning and needed it afterwards and then when going for nap. so it really is only when tired and going asleep . Hopefully though if i dont give it after dream feed he might sleep better. (i wont hold my breath)

bp

I took it away at about six months for the same reason - was exhausted, two days later the baby never looked for it again but did keep it in the press for a further two months in case it was needed back as they are definitely useful

deh983

We are dealing with something similar here. I can't deal with it any longer to be honest. I lost count of the amount of times he was up last night.
He can nearly put it back in himself but I think he's just gotten used to us getting up to him now and won't settle himself. I've just started putting him down at night fully awake so I'm hoping when he settles himself then he will do the same during the night. I sat in the side if the bed crying this morning at 5. I just don't know what to do.

Suucee

I lost count after our 6th time up last night so bye bye soother.

we've decided were going to have to try cry it out .

So OH got up around 6am with him . And about 8.30 it was nap time. I brought him up and sat in the chair with him in my arms but he was so wound up crying and squirming so i popped him in the cot a shhhhh'ed him and patted but it didnt really stop him so i walked out. Stood outside the room for 2 mins. Went back in shhhhed and patted (he calmed a bit) and i left. Went back in after 3 mins and repeat. Left again. Went in after another 3. Patted and shhhed and he was nearly asleep (eyes closed) . I walked out. He whimpered and then nothing.

So took 8 mins. I always said cry it out wouldnt be for us but i think its worth a try at this stage. We cant continue the way we have been.

yellow hen

I'm just putting it out there,.. but are you sure the soother is the problem and he's not just going through a developmental leap? Everything you're saying rings bells with me but it was short lived and it was only after that I realised it was probably the 5th developmental leap. He just wanted us to be with him all the time.

deh983

I've started doing the exact same thing at night time with him as I was always rocking him to sleep and thought that might be why he was waking during the night. It's taken about 10 mins the last 2 nights so that's fine. I'll start doing the same at nap time today even though he spits it out during naps and it doesn't bother him.

pwurple

Sounds like the developmental leap I'd guess goo. My girl is the same age and is having a few nights of waking as well. I was putting it down to a growth spurt.

deh983

My lad is nearly 6.5 months and has been like this for a while now. He slept well a few nights after starting solids which made me think he was hungry but I don't know how if that was just a coincidence.
Sorry suucee I'm taking over your thread.

Suucee

yellow hen wrote: »

I'm just putting it out there,.. but are you sure the soother is the problem and he's not just going through a developmental leap? Everything you're saying rings bells with me but it was short lived and it was only after that I realised it was probably the 5th developmental leap. He just wanted us to be with him all the time.

I have the app on my phone . Not a leap (according to it anyway) thing is he's always been like this anyway with the odd night not waking (very rare) .

indigo twist

Hello Lady! wrote: »

At 7 months he should be getting close now to putting it in himself. So once he can master that put it in his hand not.his mouth so that he learns to do it himself. In the meantime maybe encourage him to get the hang of putting it in his mouth himself.

My girls are 10 months and I'm not in a rush to get rid of it. I'll wait til they're at least a year as a soother is proven to reduce the incidence of sids. They only get it for naps or sleeping and the odd time for comfort if upset or unwell.

This is exactly what I think.

I know how a night can seem to go on forever if a baby's not sleeping well, but really he should be able to put his soother in by himself within the next couple of weeks, I'd imagine. Throw several of them into the cot with him at night, and he's bound to find one of them!

I find it so handy to have the soother as a comfort. They don't allow babies to have it in his creche except at nap times, so he's not reliant on having it during the day. But for example, the last couple of weeks he's been sick and miserable with an ear infection and chicken pox, so it's just nice to be able to give him that little bit of comfort.

And of course there's the SIDS thing too - and I can see how it works - my almost ten-month-old insists on sleeping on his tummy, he won't lie on his back at all (making nappy changes very difficult!) - but, if he's sleeping on his tummy sucking a soother, at least it forces him to hold his head to the side, rather than sleeping face-down into the mattress.

aristotle25

Has anyone else just not used a soother at all?

Our first guy used it for a few weeks (we were trying everything as he had colic) but then we just stopped using it. Our second child is now 7 weeks but we haven't used the soother at all but she is more placid.

Just wondering if you should just avoid using a soother if at all possible?

Hello Lady!

aristotle25 wrote: »

Has anyone else just not used a soother at all?

Our first guy used it for a few weeks (we were trying everything as he had colic) but then we just stopped using it. Our second child is now 7 weeks but we haven't used the soother at all but she is more placid.

Just wondering if you should just avoid using a soother if at all possible?

I used a soother on both my girls - twin one needed to be encouraged to use it and it took a few weeks, twin 2 was in NICU for a few days and was given a soother by the NICU staff. I never considered not using one. To me the benefits outweigh the negatives
- it reduces the chances of SIDS
- it helps with breastfeeding as it encourages latching and suck in young babies - esp preemie babies.
- it provides comfort
- if they are inclined to suck, they will suck their thumb if a soother isn't present. IMO it is much harder to break the habit of thumb sucking than soothers as you can't remove the temptation of the thumb!
- one of my girls has had a few ear infections due to teething - the relief of sucking on the soother has been so beneficial to her when she was in discomfort.

Suucee

I no theres benefits of a soother but tbh i think we NEED sleep.
Myself and OH are at each others throats with tiredness. I had to get my mum up to me twice last week to help as i have a 2.5yr old too so no chance of resting.

Hes always been a bad sleeper. He wasnt too bothered with soother in the begining but we perservered as he wanted a bottle every 2 hrs. Now i regret that.

He slept for 2.5hrs this morning which he NEVER does (coincidence possibly). Then settled for next nap with much less crying and i only had to go in once.

Fingers crossed for tonight though

contrary_mary

My 5 month old has had a terrible 2 weeks with night wakings. I do everything "right" - he goes down awake after his bedtime routine and has a little sing and goes to sleep by himself. The only potential issue was the soother (even though he typically doesn't keep it in until he falls asleep) so I stopped giving it to him at night - it's made absolutely no difference at all so I'm just reassigned to the fact that it's a phase. I'm knackered though - hope we get back to better sleep soon!

cobham

I had two kids and first was an anxious clingy baby that could not be detached from me, invisible umbilical cord etc... I am ever grateful for a friend suggesting a soother which at that time was frowned on. He was three weeks old at this stage. I researched same and found no issues so went for it. When it came time for school, we discussed the matter and worked out a deal with a star chart. He was so good about it, fancy toy was bought and put out of reach and soother into a clear plastic box. He wavered on day 3 and wanted just to look at it ... never took out of its box. He got his toy after a clear run of stars, not the agreed full amount but so pleased it had worked.

Second child would NOT take a soother.... despite my best efforts grrrrr Just a very independent lady!

Sligo1

Neither of my 2 ever took a soother. I tried to give them one in the early days but they just spat it out. Had no interest at all. I actually heard the opposite in regards to breastfeeding and studies have shown that for a breast fed baby it is best to only introduce a soother after bfing has already been well established as it "can" cause confusion. Both mine were breastfed. Having said that I know loads of bf babies who take a soother.

Suucee... As my 2 never took a soother I can't really give much advice to help. But what about substituting with a soft little cuddly blankie (facecloth) type thing? Would this possibly work? I have no idea. Perhaps it would give a Little comfort? I hope you get some sleep tonight.

pwurple

Just spotted a new tooth here too. Any chance it's teething suucee?

deh983

Question for ye experienced mammies. How can I tell if it's teething and not just waking coz he's used to is getting up to him?? He has his bottom two teeth through and they appeared all of a sudden with no red cheeks or temp or anything. It could be teething with my little man but I don't want to be giving medicine if it's not!!

Suucee

No dont think its teething. Has 4 teeth now. He is fine all day just at night .
The problem is we give him soother he falls asleep. Drops soother wakes up. Give soother fall asleep . Drops soother wakes up etc etc
.
He has no real problems going to sleep its staying asleep.

Sligo yes i gave him the silky from his slumber bear.

So today no soother since 6 am. Slept 2 very good naps (a bit of cry it out used to go to sleep). Went to bed at 7. Was quiet for about 4 mins (i sat outside door listening) then i got a txt grrrr. So he started to cry. I waited for 2 mins (now he wasnt roaring or anything) i went in. Reassured him. Rubbed his belly and shhhh'ed him. Made sure he had his silky and walked out.
He went straight to sleep.
So tonight will tell all anyway. But i dont think it can get much worse anyway.

deh983

Fingers crossed for you!!!

Sweet Rose

aristotle25 wrote: »

Has anyone else just not used a soother at all?

Our first guy used it for a few weeks (we were trying everything as he had colic) but then we just stopped using it. Our second child is now 7 weeks but we haven't used the soother at all but she is more placid.

Just wondering if you should just avoid using a soother if at all possible?

I made a conscious decision while I was pregnant to not give my baby a soother at all. My decision was based on some things which might be too controversial to mention on this thread. To me handing a baby a soother is parent led which isn't something the child really needs but gets too dependent on, from what I've seen. One mother told me she had to put 4 soothers in the cot for when her baby wakes up at night, that sounds a bit ridiculous to me. If I literally had a euro for every time someone said to me 'does your baby take a soother', I'd be a thousandaire now. I just don't see the obsession with them. I've only met 2 others mothers who never gave any of their children a soother and luckily they would have a similar parenting style to me which made me think I made the right decision.

I was lucky too as my child started to sleep through the night from around 2 months but I'm pretty sure if I had introduced a soother, this wouldn't have happened. Anyway, my point is you can get away with not giving your child a soother for sure.

yellow hen

Sweet Rose wrote: »

I was lucky too as my child starting to sleep through the night from around 2 months but I'm pretty sure if I had introduced a soother, this wouldn't have happened.

To be fair you don't know that.

indigo twist

And my son has slept through the night from a similar age, and he always uses a soother. He often loses it during the night, it doesn't wake him up when he loses it, we don't bother putting more than one into the cot.

Some babies are just better sleepers than others - I don't really agree with your idea of you taking the credit for it because of your parenting choices. It sounds as though, like me, you were just lucky to have a good sleeper.

Sweet Rose

aristotle25 wrote: »

Has anyone else just not used a soother at all?

Our first guy used it for a few weeks (we were trying everything as he had colic) but then we just stopped using it. Our second child is now 7 weeks but we haven't used the soother at all but she is more placid.

Just wondering if you should just avoid using a soother if at all possible?

yellow hen wrote: »

To be fair you don't know that.

Yes I do. I didn't create bad habits with her. I kept a very strict bedtime routine which was parent lead at that age, not baby led. Some parents are their own worse enemies and create bad habits too young.

fire and ice

sorry can't quote post but this is in reply to Sweet Rose.

your post comes across as condescending, as you pointed out different people have different styles of parenting. The op was looking for advice not to be questioned on her parenting skills.

Sweet Rose

fire and ice wrote: »

sorry can't quote post but this is in reply to Sweet Rose.

your post comes across as condescending, as you pointed out different people have different styles of parenting. The op was looking for advice not to be questioned on her parenting skills.

I'm just giving my experience. I answered another poster's question about can you get away with not giving a baby a soother at all and yes you can from my experience.

Like I said, I have my own opinions about soothers. Each to their own.

Ms2011

My son didn't sleep through until 6.5 months, this had nothing to do with taking a soother though. Like a previous poster said if he lost his soother at night it didn't wake him, he'd just wake for a feed.

yellow hen

Sweet Rose wrote: »

Yes I do. I didn't create bad habits with her. I kept a very strict bedtime routine which was parent lead at that age, not baby led. Some parents are their own worse enemies and create bad habits too young.

Oh honestly, you're dreaming if you really believe that 'parent-led' choices create the perfect baby routine. I did not chose to undertake a parent-led routine ergo I created bad habits for my child? Really???

RentDayBlues

Suucee wrote: »

No dont think its teething. Has 4 teeth now. He is fine all day just at night .
The problem is we give him soother he falls asleep. Drops soother wakes up. Give soother fall asleep . Drops soother wakes up etc etc
.
He has no real problems going to sleep its staying asleep.

Sligo yes i gave him the silky from his slumber bear.

So today no soother since 6 am. Slept 2 very good naps (a bit of cry it out used to go to sleep). Went to bed at 7. Was quiet for about 4 mins (i sat outside door listening) then i got a txt grrrr. So he started to cry. I waited for 2 mins (now he wasnt roaring or anything) i went in. Reassured him. Rubbed his belly and shhhh'ed him. Made sure he had his silky and walked out.
He went straight to sleep.
So tonight will tell all anyway. But i dont think it can get much worse anyway.

Suucee, this is exactly our story, all her waking was down to loosing the soother, she could put it back in but never did at night. We're down to waking once a night for a quick feed and then back to sleep

Once we had 4 weeks of no soother I threw them all out, but not before my toddler found them and offered them to my baby, who hadn't a clue what they were, that's how quickly at this age they get over it. I just thought it was much better than waiting to have an argument about it with a tantruming toddler! Hope tonight goes well

Ocean Blue

Sweet Rose wrote: »

Yes I do. I didn't create bad habits with her. I kept a very strict bedtime routine which was parent lead at that age, not baby led. Some parents are their own worse enemies and create bad habits too young.

And another parent who doesn't have a strict bedtime routine and does give a soother could also have a baby who sleeps through the night. Sometimes it's just the way the baby is!
I had major surgery 5 weeks post partum, ended up away from home because I couldn't look after my child myself, had multiple people looking after her at times, had no particular routine and yet she has slept for 9 hours each night since 8 weeks. We were just very lucky that she is a good sleeper. And I do give a soother at times.

Sligo1

Lol. My 2 never took a soother. Neither of them slept through the night from only a few weeks old. Many people tell me that is because they were breastfed.... Is that my bad parenting choice?? Lol lol

Sweet Rose

Oh I'm always getting myself into trouble!

I didn't mean creating bad habits with just the soothers. I meant other things. I was just giving my experience of not giving a soother at all. I already know I'm in the minority on that so I thought I'd give my experience.

I'm sorry original OP, I didn't mean to make you feel bad.

Suucee

Sweet Rose wrote: »

Oh I'm always getting myself into trouble!

I didn't mean creating bad habits with just the soothers. I meant other things. I was just giving my experience of not giving a soother at all. I already know I'm in the minority on that so I thought I'd give my experience.

I'm sorry original OP, I didn't mean to make you feel bad.

You didnt make me feel bad. No 1 slept through from 4 weeks. Had a soother occasionally but not bothered with it (thumb sucker). Now at 2.5 still sleeps 12 hrs a night and 1.5 during the day. I done not a thing different this time. Except he took to the soother. But even before he took the soother he was a bad sleeper but that was more to do with the fact he was always starving.

Anyway i will update in the morning. Went to bed early expecting a bad night. Nothing YET from him but toddler just woke to do "wee wee:"
typical

Suucee

So he woke once last night ONCE. Compared to over 6 times tge night before.
I went in shhhed him and he went back asleep until 6.30

Naps been good today too but for past 2 days he gets whingey approx 5 pm . Hoping this will pass.

Bed tonight no soother. Whimpered a lil but we didnt need to even go in. Wasnt crying. Asleep in less than 5 mins.

deh983

How did night 2 go??

Suucee

deh983 wrote: »

How did night 2 go??

He woke once. OH tried settle him was disaster so i got up. Back in bed half hr after he woke and slept until 7.45 (miracle)
Laat night he didnt wake. Not a peep until alarm went off this morning (oh set alarm as hadnt the night befors and was nearly late for work)

RentDayBlues

Suucee wrote: »

He woke once. OH tried settle him was disaster so i got up. Back in bed half hr after he woke and slept until 7.45 (miracle)
Laat night he didnt wake. Not a peep until alarm went off this morning (oh set alarm as hadnt the night befors and was nearly late for work)

That's fantastic, fingers crossed this is the new routine

deh983

Brilliant!!! I'm tempted to do the same even though the past 2 nights have been his best after letting him settle himself.

Fingers crossed for you that it continues!!!

Suucee

Days are hard though. He is still looking for it at times and i very nearly caved yesterday. I even sterilised and brought a soother with me today. But busy day today and alot more distracted so happier.
Nap times can be a bit tougher too but think i still need to perservere.
Ive been very very close to caving though.

deh983

We were up numerous times again last night. I can't figure this lad out at all !!!

Is he still getting long naps or is the settling taking away from the naps if you know what I mean??

deh983

Suucee how are things going for ye now?? Did u get to the bottom of it?? We are still up numerous times a night with this lad

Suucee

deh983 wrote: »

Suucee how are things going for ye now?? Did u get to the bottom of it?? We are still up numerous times a night with this lad

We gave him back the soother as naps were difficult and needed in the car
he is sleeping very well .
We moved him in with his sistee and seems to have worked.
He has been in his own room a long time as we werw disturbing him abd vice versa.
We are very regimental and seems to be paying iff.

deh983

Suucee wrote: »

We gave him back the soother as naps were difficult and needed in the car
he is sleeping very well .
We moved him in with his sistee and seems to have worked.
He has been in his own room a long time as we werw disturbing him abd vice versa.
We are very regimental and seems to be paying iff.

I think we will have to move him out of ours and see does it help. He literally just wakes only for us to soothe him and he's straight back asleep again. Sometimes doesn't even want the soother.

Thanks for the reply and glad to head you are getting some sleep

Suucee

best of luck. it gets really hard when they are waking numerous times a night . hope you find something that helps