close to despair

LegacyUser

Hi all
Going anon for this one

27 YO female, and have a disability(totally blind)
I've been this way all my life, so though it's inconvenient at times, It doesn't bother me in the slightest.
I'm just so scared i'm never going to find my purpose.
I'm interested in lots of things, which is just as well, as most of the time, when i go for interviews, it goes well apart from the bit at the end where the employers obviously decide i'd be two much hassle to higher and then i never get the job.
Now don't get me wrong, it's not a personal thing I know, Ireland's attitude to disability is particularly bad, it's just no one knows what to do with someone who can't see in particular, probably because they can't imagine themselves living as we do, therefore they don't know how we do it, and this leads to awkwardness.
Any interview i've went for has never really been in something i would have saw as a dream job, but i would just give anything to be out of the social welfare trap. It's funny, because the people that employers think are the most difficult to employ, are probably some of the most hardworking dedicated people they would ever meet, if only they'd give them, or should i say us, a chance.
I've wanted to go to university forever, so last year, i applied for psychology and didn't get in. I did apply to more than one college of course, but lack of ability to get to universities for tests etc held me back.
I'm going to apply to CAO again this year, but i don't know if I'm just wasting my time.
I know I want my career to make a difference, but am I deluding myself even thinking I can have a career?
I'm so scared that I'll never fined my purpose, and that I'll always e trapped on social welfare. All I want is to find a career, work and be successful. I've achieved independence in practically every other area of my life. I have a wonderful partner, and am independent in terms of mobility as well, so really have achieved most things i wanted to, a career is the only thing i'm missing.
I just don't want to fight to get into a degree and then get nothing from it.
Don't know what i'm looking for here, or why I wrote this out, I just feel so lost, low and sad lately.

lilydonoghue

I know a lady who is blind and she did her degree in social work and eventually someone gave her a job in a hospital and she does a great job. Please don't despair -you will find something. I wish you peace and happiness and then prosperity

Buona Fortuna

Hi Venus,

I've no pearls of wisdom I'm afraid, other than to say "Keep on, keeping on".

I just wanted to say I was touched by your post and to send you a virtual hug.

I wish you all the very best

biketard

Hi venus1987,

Like Buona Fortuna above, I have no words of wisdom, but wanted to wish you the best of luck. It's obvious from your post that you a smart, capable person and I've no doubt that there is an employer out there that would be lucky to have you. Please don't give up.

Rubberchikken

i agree that ireland's attitude to disability can be poor. but it really depends on who you're dealing with.

you want to go to college and have a better life, so keep that goal on mind and don't let anything stop you.

best of luck

Jenneke87

Hellen Keller(a pioneer I have to say) is a woman who is blind and deaf and went to university and got a degree. If she can do it, so can you! Going to college is never a waste and you'll be a rolemodel to other people with a disability who struggle with simular issues. I'd say go for it!

Lalealea

venus1987 wrote: »

Hi all
Going anon for this one

27 YO female, and have a disability(totally blind)
I've been this way all my life, so though it's inconvenient at times, It doesn't bother me in the slightest.
I'm just so scared i'm never going to find my purpose.
I'm interested in lots of things, which is just as well, as most of the time, when i go for interviews, it goes well apart from the bit at the end where the employers obviously decide i'd be two much hassle to higher and then i never get the job.
Now don't get me wrong, it's not a personal thing I know, Ireland's attitude to disability is particularly bad, it's just no one knows what to do with someone who can't see in particular, probably because they can't imagine themselves living as we do, therefore they don't know how we do it, and this leads to awkwardness.
Any interview i've went for has never really been in something i would have saw as a dream job, but i would just give anything to be out of the social welfare trap. It's funny, because the people that employers think are the most difficult to employ, are probably some of the most hardworking dedicated people they would ever meet, if only they'd give them, or should i say us, a chance.
I've wanted to go to university forever, so last year, i applied for psychology and didn't get in. I did apply to more than one college of course, but lack of ability to get to universities for tests etc held me back.
I'm going to apply to CAO again this year, but i don't know if I'm just wasting my time.
I know I want my career to make a difference, but am I deluding myself even thinking I can have a career?
I'm so scared that I'll never fined my purpose, and that I'll always e trapped on social welfare. All I want is to find a career, work and be successful. I've achieved independence in practically every other area of my life. I have a wonderful partner, and am independent in terms of mobility as well, so really have achieved most things i wanted to, a career is the only thing i'm missing.
I just don't want to fight to get into a degree and then get nothing from it.
Don't know what i'm looking for here, or why I wrote this out, I just feel so lost, low and sad lately.

I believe in you. I have faith in you.

Your partner has faith in you.

You have a right to your dreams.

Don't let what others think of you define you. You define you.

GO FOR IT!

What you have to offer this world is vital. The world NEEDS you. I need you. I NEED people like you in this world.

Please realize how needed and wanted your difference is.

And you know by doing this. The institutions will learn from you. And it might make them think differently and know how to do better for someone else in your position in future.

Ireland needs to change.

You are smart and above all you want to HELP people.

You need support and positivity around you. Go for it!

YOU are not deluded, society is deluded about disability and you are the sane one.

Lalealea

Also just to say NUI I think has a disability support service.

IUA HEAR AND DARE is an organization for disability support regarding university.

The Disability Access Route to Education (DARE) is a college and university admissions scheme which offers places on a reduced points basis to school leavers with disabilities. DARE has been set up by a number of colleges and universities as evidence shows that disability can have a negative effect on how well a student does at school and whether they go on to college.

DARE is for school leavers who have the ability to benefit from and succeed in higher education but who may not be able to meet the points for their preferred course due to the impact of their disability.

So they can help with the CAO problem maybe??

I will look for other stuff.
It's
www. iua.ie/students-graduates/widening-participation/hear-dare/

172 students or 2% of the student population registered with disabilities in Higher Education in Ireland are blind or have a vision impairment apparently.

LegacyUser

Hi all
OP here
thanks so much to everyone who responded.
I know that giving up is not an option but it's just so hard not to become disheartened and disillusioned sometimes. Everything just feels like an obstacle, but i'm also well aware that there are far bigger problems than this of course. sometimes i really do think it would have been easier if i hadn't survived the difficult start in life i had.
I really do appreciate those that took the time to read and reply, it does mean a lot.
Thanks so much
venus

Lalealea

venus1987 wrote: »

sometimes i really do think it would have been easier if i hadn't survived the difficult start in life i had.

Never think this.

Hugs Venus xx.
LOVE you name by the way.

shalalala

I don't have much to add, other then there were two blind guys on my degree. One had been since birth, the other early teens. One took all the help he could with a PA and dog etc, the other tried to do it alone until the very last year when he finally got a PA.

Both graduated with good degrees and both made friends. It can be done. Look into the organisations named above and also try and contact access. They sometimes provide help for people with disabilities too. Most larger universities have an access programme