Special needs child - no sleep

LegacyUser

It's 545 and have been awake again tonight since 315 and every night for the past month. My child has dodcusl needs and had taken to waking at 315 every night for hours and I'm struggling to cope. His dad has a huge round trip to work everyday and I'm feeling guilty as I just shouted at the child there. It's so stressful trying to keep him quiet so as not to wake the house. I'm constantly worried about his dad crashing the car through tiredness and I'm finding it so hard to function.

I luckily don't have to work but am struggling to get the energy to do all that needs to be done, including losing weight.

I'm not depressed thank god as, once I get even one nights sleep I'm fine again. We take turns at weekends but no one still gets good sleep as you can hear our child everywhere in the house.

This is more a rant than anything. I feel guilty for shouting at him tonight but I don't know how to cope anymore.

Taltos

Maybe better here OP.
For anyone who has followed this thread please read the Parenting Charter before posting.

Thanks.

ahappychappy

Is there someone in the family/ friends who would be delighted to help out. I understand if your child has particular needs they may need to have you with them the first time and then be familiar with routine.

Even if ye swap beds/ houses for a night - if it means the little one will be in familiar place.

My best friend has a little one with Special needs - in the early days she felt it was unfair to accept any help. As time has gone by she now knows I offer it from a place where I have had sleep so I can take a night or two of not sleeping. It has taken a long time but a years on we do this at least once a month or so and it is a break for all. It has also meant me and a couple of other friends could help out for overnight hospital stays. To be honest at this stage we get so much more back from her little live wire!


A night or two of sleep - of course you can be there during the day, will help greatly. Don't feel guilty for being human - you are doing the right thing looking for ways to support yourself and your little one.

Mind yourself.

Rubberchikken

i agree with above ^^^.
a good noghts sleep means you're capable of dealing with things during the day.
if there's anyway you can get this help, then please take it.

and don't beat yourself up for shouting. it's a human thing and with tiredness as well, people get shorttempered.
if you can walk away when getting annoyed instead, you'll feel better.

it has to be hard to deal with so take care

margo321

I'm not sure if this will help but my parents said my younger brother didn't sleep till he was 3&1/2 and was a terrible climber, in the end my mam took everything out of their room but the bed and locked her door and hung the key up high where my brother couldn't reach it and she'd let him play away on her bedroom floor. She said at least they got sleep and he was safe. Before this she battled with him to go to sleep but he just didn't sleep much. She said she'd often wake up and he might be playing or sometimes having a nap but she knew he was safe. Good luck, it must be very trying on ye.

wrote:

TiredinTralee;92697193"]It's 545 and have been awake again tonight since 315 and every night for the past month. My child has dodcusl needs and had taken to waking at 315 every night for hours and I'm struggling to cope. His dad has a huge round trip to work everyday and I'm feeling guilty as I just shouted at the child there. It's so stressful trying to keep him quiet so as not to wake the house. I'm constantly worried about his dad crashing the car through tiredness and I'm finding it so hard to function.

I luckily don't have to work but am struggling to get the energy to do all that needs to be done, including losing weight.

I'm not depressed thank god as, once I get even one nights sleep I'm fine again. We take turns at weekends but no one still gets good sleep as you can hear our child everywhere in the house.

This is more a rant than anything. I feel guilty for shouting at him tonight but I don't know how to cope anymore.

Knine

I have this problem too. I parent alone so don't have help. Have you talked to your consultant. My daughter takes Melatonin to help with sleep issues. It does not always work but it certainly helps.

At this stage I seem to be able to function ok on sometimes just a few hours sleep.

Mr. Muddle

Unfortunately this is very common with kids with special needs. I would agree with the above post about talking to your doctor to see if Melatonin would help.

I know someone who has a similar problem, he is now a teenager, Melatonin did not work for him (but it does work for many). His parents have moved the light switch to outside his room, like you would for a bathroom, cleared his room of everything but the bed, locks on wardrobes, wooden shutters on windows and if necessary there is a bolt on the outside of the bedroom door. If he gets up the put him straight back to bed and bolt the door(I know this sounds terrible but only lock it for a short while so they will give up trying to open the door I don't mean lock him in all night, it's for the childs safety and your sanity), after a few nights they rarely have to do this as he expects the door to be locked and does not even try it.

He still wakes some nights he never sleeps at all, it can be worse when there is a full moon (I've know idea why but loads of sn parents report this) but he mostly stays in his room and is safe so the parents get some sleep, he can be very noisy his siblings have grown up with this and will sleep through anything. He does sleep some nights. He is never tired in the daytime even if he has had no sleep.

Getting a wooden gate (like a big stair gate) that he cannot open at the top of your stairs is a help too so even if the does get up he can't go too far and of course have all windows and doors locked and the keys out of reach, for the childs safety and the parents peace of mind.

Don't be upset with yourself for shouting at him, you sound like you are doing a great job in very difficult circumstances, It's very hard for anyone to understand how difficult this situation is. Good luck I hope you get some help and sleep. Talk to the HSE about respite too.

January

I really would advise you to speak to your health care specialist about this. There are lots of things to try that could help. Depending on your child's needs a weighted blanket could help too.

Lucyfur

+1 for the weighted blanket. It has changed our lives. My son got one last year and made him much calmer and happier. For his first 5 years he only slept for one hour a night. I so wish I had known about weighted aides then!

Never went down the medication route ourselves, only as it was never offered, but I know a few that have and I've only heard positives from them

Do you have an occupational therapist? If you do, they will be able to recommend techniques to help physically and mental calm and tire your child.

Best of luck. Surviving on little sleep is hard

Knine

I also use a weighted Blanket. I got it from Adamandfriends. Your Occupational Therapist can advise the correct weight to use.

My daughter uses it rather then a duvet.

Moonbeam

Are you entitled to respite?