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Extreme Stalking Techniques

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    #2
    TheBeardedLady
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,086 ✭✭✭TheBeardedLady


    Put your hand over your face to hide it as you follow your "victim" but leave a gap between your fingers so you can see where you're going.


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    #3
    Karl Stein
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,689 ✭✭✭Karl Stein


    TheBeardedLady wrote: »
    Put your hand over your face to hide it as you follow your "victim" but leave a gap between your fingers so you can see where you're going.

    And if the victim turns around and eyes you suspiciously stop walking, stay dead still with your face hidden behind your hands, and pretend you're not really there.


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    #4
    TheBeardedLady
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,086 ✭✭✭TheBeardedLady


    If you're a woman, wrap your hair round your face to make a makeshift beard.


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    #5
    ToddyDoody
    Registered Users Posts: 4,421 ✭✭✭ToddyDoody


    Amateurs. Cinemas, restaurants, college... anywhere (s)he will be in a fixed position... be armed with a max zoom camcorder.


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    #6
    Yellowblackbird
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 603 ✭✭✭Yellowblackbird


    Which of us hasn't found themselves stuck in a chimney. With those silly, nagging self doubt plagueing your mind. "Have I overstepped the mark?", "Am I crazy?", "Where is my life going?", "Should I have played it safe and stuck with the binoculars?"


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    #7
    Johngoose
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,066 ✭✭✭Johngoose


    Facebook is a good start.People will let you know what restaurant/pub/nightclub they are in. "Fancy meeting you here..."
    :-)


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    #8
    looksee
    Registered Users Posts: 28,185 ✭✭✭✭looksee


    Then been hauled out with the help of liquid soup (I suppose dried packet soup would not have been a lot of use).

    It would never have occurred to me that a modern chimney would be wide enough to even start to get stuck in though!


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    #9
    0byme75341jo28
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,571 ✭✭✭0byme75341jo28


    Put a camera on your penis, and leave your fly open whilst following the lucky lady.


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    #10
    Miss Demeanour
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,383 ✭✭✭Miss Demeanour


    Being in a loving relationship I dont understand this stalking business at all!!


    Just once though I would like it if my oh just said "thanks" when I bring him breakfast in bed instead of screaming "how the hell did you get in my house!?"


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    #11
    Laois6556
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 624 ✭✭✭Laois6556


    Dress up as a cute dog and look in the window of the woman as she undresses. She can't get angry because you're such a gorgeous dog peeping in the window but really you're **** furiously underneath the costume.


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    #12
    Johngoose
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,066 ✭✭✭Johngoose


    Halloween night is a dream come true.Even if they have a restraining order against you you can dress up and get so close to them that you can smell their scent.Not only that they'll reward you with sweets...


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    #13
    Charlie19
    Registered Users Posts: 11,743 ✭✭✭✭Charlie19


    Johngoose wrote: »
    Facebook is a good start.People will let you know what restaurant/pub/nightclub they are in. "Fancy meeting you here..."
    :-)

    Yeah facebook seems to be the handiest option..


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    #14
    Karl Stein
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,689 ✭✭✭Karl Stein


    Disguise yourself as a fly and attach yourself to the victim's living room ceiling by means of an intricate system of cables and pulleys.


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    #15
    MysticMah
    Registered Users Posts: 61 ✭✭MysticMah


    facebook is like a big damper- not-for-use


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    #16
    Tail Docker
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,954 ✭✭✭Tail Docker


    Simply join Eircom as an engineer and then strap yourself to the pole outside their house, innocently "repairing" the line, while cunningly listening to all their phone-calls.



    No, wait, I've thought of a flaw in that, what if they use a mobile phone? Damn.


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    #17
    Fuzzytrooper
    Moderators, Arts Moderators Posts: 896 Mod ✭✭✭✭Fuzzytrooper


    Tail Docker wrote: »
    Simply join Eircom as an engineer and then strap yourself to the pole outside their house, innocently "repairing" the line, while cunningly listening to all their phone-calls.



    No, wait, I've thought of a flaw in that, what if they use a mobile phone? Damn.
    Then you strap yourself to a mobile pole obviously. Next!


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    #18
    Tail Docker
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,954 ✭✭✭Tail Docker


    Fuzzytrooper wrote: »
    Then you strap yourself to a mobile pole obviously. Next!

    See, I knew it was a deadly plan. There's always a work-around.


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