Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction

Mickey Dazzler

I have only recently discovered this phenomenon and think I may be suffering from it.

Background.

I’m a guy in my early 30s and I love sex. I have had quite an active sex life over years but have run into some problems in the last few years. Namely: not being able to get it up. I am also alcoholic and have used drugs heavily over the years. If I look back on my sexual history it’s pretty dismal performance wise. I have had a lot of sexual partners, not quite a centurion but not far off. Most of these encounters were when I was heavily under the influence of booze and/or drugs. Although penetration did occur they were far from mutually rewarding sexual experiences and more a question of just getting notches on the bedpost so I could out do my friends in the sexual stakes department, as was our infantile mind-set at the time.

About 5 years ago I came out of a relationship (3 years) and was going back into the world of hooking up. My drinking was very heavy at this stage and I knew I would be struggling to get it up with any new women I was planning to hook up with. So I hit upon and idea. I was in Spain and decided to buy some erectile dysfunction drugs. Viagra and Cialis.

Holy sh*t. It was like I was 16 again. I would get these super hard erections and be able to go all night. It was the best discovery I had ever made. Before anyone chimes in about the dangers of using prescription drugs without a doctors consultation bear in mind your are dealing with a guy who would take every pill, powder and potion he could get his hands on to get high and not give a damn about its provenance. So taking a few ED drugs was the least of my worries.

I always felt that my body was rebelling against my extreme use of booze and drugs and it was getting revenge by not allowing me to get it up. It wasn’t completely flaccid but a soft semi at best that needed to be thumbed in. Not good.

I soon found myself in another relationship. She was older than I (10 years) and the entire relationship was based around sex. We knew we weren’t going to live happily ever after and both wanted the same thing. Sex and lots of it. Our first encounter I used Viagra (secretly). She could not believe it. She kept going on about how amazing it was that I could get so hard so often and go again and again. She put it down to my youth and virility and I was not going to disabuse her of that fact.

I was under pressure now to keep this performance standard up. So I began to use small doses of ED drugs (Cialis now) to maintain the charade even when sober. The relationship carried on for about 18 months until I left town. (I am constantly on the move with my work and usually stay in one place for a just a few months and move on.) I was back on the pull.

Fast forward to today. I quit drinking and drugs nearly 18 months ago now after a stint in rehab. I am now completely sober. Alcohol was destroying my life and to be able to put that part of my life behind me now is a miracle.

But back to the sex…. I was so used to being a sexual hero with the aid of these pills I kept using them even when I got sober. I guess I developed a psychological dependence on them and wanted to maintain this new super sexual standard. I have been single now nearly two years and have had a few sexual relationships. I no longer have ONS as at this point in my life I want to make a connection with the person I am with and not just get another notch on the bedpost. I have had a few brief romances in the last two years. Usually a couple of months in duration before I have to move on with work.

3 months ago I staring seeing this incredibly hot Spanish girl 10 years my junior. She was beautiful and unbelievably fit. However I was only able to put in a mediocre sexual performance. I though it might be initial nerves but we stayed together for 6 weeks and I was never able to put in the heroic performances of my recent past. I was worried now. I am completely sober, using strong ED pills, not in the least bit nervous and with an extremely hot 23-year-old Spanish girl. What the fcuk?

The romance ended when I left town and I am now based in France. Almost immediately I started seeing a local French girl and the very first night we are together I get a semi…. I am very very worried now.

So I start to Google the sh*t of it. Why is this happening? I am completely sober 18 months now, using ED drugs, being with beautiful girls, am only in my early 30s and I feel I am back to where I was in the height of my addiction. I have researched these drugs and to see if a tolerance builds but apparently this is rare especially in an otherwise healthy young man.

Then I find this site. www.yourbrainonporn.com

I also watched on YouTube: “The great porn experiment. Gary Wilson”

I use porn a lot. From the above info it may sound like I move from city to city like a modern day Lothario but I don’t. In fact I am rarely ever near cities and am usually very isolated. Without saying what I do for a living it would be similar to working on an oilrig with not a woman in sight. I often go 6 months without sex. During these dry spells I use pron. A lot. In fact if I were to be honest with myself I would say I use porn (over my imagination) 95% of the time when sorting myself out. This has been the case since my early 20s. So that's 10 long years of beating off to porn everyday.

From reading the info on the above site and others similar sites I believe I have conditioned my brain to associate arousal first and foremost with a video on a screen. I think I have completely desensitised myself by using porn so often. We are talking at least once a day and often twice. The site makes some pretty compelling arguments. Why else would this be happening to me? I can get aroused in seconds looking at porn and yet when I am with a hot girl it’s a very lack lustre performance of late. I know there is nothing wrong with me medically (confirmed by my Doctor) as I have no issues standing to attention when using porn so it must be all in my head. I am not nervous AND am using bloody ED drugs…

This has come as a real revelation to me. It makes sense.

I have now completely stopped looking at porn. I am still seeing this French girl and have also stopped taking the ED drugs and beating off in-between encounters. I have already noticed a difference. My performance isn’t anything to write home about but it’s not bad either. I honestly think if I completely cut porn out of my life things might return to way they should be.

There is now whole communities of young men in a similar situation who are “Rebooting” and setting themselves “No Fap” challenges etc.. While I doubt I will stop fapping completely I do intend to drastically cut down and never use porn again.

I don’t think I am addicted to porn but I do think it might be the cause of my recent problems. I also don’t want to be reliant on drugs to get it up at such a young age. I really hope this works and from reading extensively on the issue I feel I could really be onto something here.

Abstaining form using porn is not really an issue at the moment as I am seeing this girl every other night but I am due to be posted in another obscure place soon where I will not be in the company of women for possibly up to six months so it will have to remain to be seen if I can stay away from porn then.

So my question is: Are there any other young otherwise healthy men on this forum who have noticed an unexplained drop off in libido who happen to use porn frequently? Is anybody concerned about their high use of porn and what effect this is having on their real life encounters with real women? Are there women here who know their partners use porn and feel this could be distracting them from the real thing?

I would be interested to know if anybody is in a similar position or can relate to my story…. the use of porn part at least…

Tl:dr.... I watch too much porn.

Jaxxy

Firstly, fair play on being so up front and honest.

Secondly, I just wanted to say that as a woman, I don't measure a man's prowess in bed by how many times he can go in one night. I don't want to be "plowed" five/six times in as many hours, tyvm, real sex ain't like porn. Don't get me wrong, penetration and stamina are important elements too, but the best partners I've ever had weren't stallions, they never gave the sexual "performance" of a lifetime, they were just attentive.

Anyway, your issue could stem from your previous issues with drink/drugs, it could be from a developed tolerance to the ED pills, it could be from porn or it could be all in your head. The mind is an extremely powerful muscle, do not underestimate it.

You don't seem to believe that porn is better than the real thing and you obviously want a meaningful relationship with a woman. You do, however, seem to associate your issues with porn addiction, and since you identified this as your problem, things have improved. So keep doing what you're doing, it's obviously working. There are also plenty of online support groups that you can visit, and if your OP is anything to go by you obviously want to discuss this with people who are going through something similar.

Take care of yourself and don't put yourself under any more pressure than you need to. Nothing kills a mood quicker than performance-related anxiety.

LegacyUser

Porn is definitely messing up men. Years of chronic masturbation as a teenager meant I was unable to cum when I did finally have sex. An actual vagina felt nothing like the iron grip of my hand. I abstained from porn for six months and cured myself. Now I very rarely watch porn, in fact I'm trying to cut it out completely.

As you know this has become very common among men. My advice would be to only masturbate one day a week and use your imagination. If possible think of real girl you want to have sex with but never have.

Its funny. I used to laugh when I read about people campaigning against the evils of pornography in the 60s and 70s. Thought they were a bunch of uptight do gooders. Now I realise they were right, they were just ahead of their time!

beks101

I dunno OP. Fairly play on the rehab and sobriety, but it does seem like you've spent years abusing your body. The drugs, the booze, the prolonged use of unprescribed ED pills. You can't do that for as long as you have and get off scot-free, even if your doctor has given you a clean bill of health. Something's gotta give.

TBH it sounds like you're addicted to these pills in the same way you perhaps were with the booze, so psychologically they don't sound healthy for you either. And maybe you've taken them enough to become desensitized?

You talk about some lads taking it upon themselves to do a 'reboot', maybe you should consider the same for yourself in terms of how you think about sex. To be completely blunt, great sex is not about having a hard c0ck and being able to go for days. Not even half. It's about being attentive to your lady's needs and figuring out what turns both of you on. And it sounds like you're done with sport-fcuking now anyway and are more keen to get to know the lady in question and have a bit more emotional intimacy. Maybe focus on that, instead of how hard you are.

And then there's the matter of you not ACTUALLY being sixteen anymore. You're 31, a recovering substance abuser and a chronic ED pill user.

Lalealea

I think you have come along a long long journey.

Don't put your hero status on being great in bed. And don't define great in bed in such narrow minded terms. Sex is so much more. And women want you to feel safe too. Sex is not a test of how masculine you are. It's a time and space of love and acceptance for who you are and exploring with another person.

I think you have low self esteem and perhaps you feel you are not worthy unless you prove it and use this crutch to cope. Women want you for you. Women who are worth it anyway. And Pleasure is not so narrow. You know porn stars don't even have sex the way it is portrayed and very often the personal lives of male and female pornstars are very lonely. I am not saying porn is not ok , it's fine with a healthy mindset and in moderation. Don't compare yourself with a world that is not real. You are a real living breathing human being. When you join someone in the bedroom they want you the real living being to be with in the moment and in the after. We women are on your side in the bedroom and getting into your head.The girl you think about for days or the guy. Getting to know them.

You are putting a lot of pressure on yourself and being very tough on yourself.

Whatever happens with consent between adults is beautiful. Don't have a set tableau all the time.FEEL the energy of the other person. You can an idea or a fantasy in your head carried out anytime. But a lot of the time its more individual.

Don't put so much of your self worth into sex. And much of a relationship and what makes it special is not about just sex. Feel relaxed.