Holiday Blues/Depressed Girlfriend

LegacyUser

Hi,

My long term girlfriend has been back from a year in Australia for a month now.
We talked every day while she was away and I even went to visit her for 3 weeks and everything feels good with our relationship.

When she came back she was pretty sad and just kept saying things like " I don't want to be in Ireland/here" and was sighing constantly and stuff like that. I don't blame her I've also done a year in Australia prior to meeting her and a lot of other travelling in general and here wouldn't exactly be my favourite place. I thought it was quite normal for her to miss being away and coming back to the cold will be hard etc.

But it's been a month now ans she's still the same just constantly sad and doesn't want to do much. When I see her she even looks sad and isn't exactly the most up for conversation in general.

Any ideas of what to do?

I have of course talked to her. You'd swear she was the only person in the country to have left and she feels sorry for us nearly missing out on what's out there or something.

We've been together for 4 years now and I love her more than anything but it's becoming straining now.

thanks

Shrap

I wonder is she feeling that she really can't live here in Ireland? It sounds like you are expecting her to settle back down and get on with it, but she is having major dilemmas with that. DO you expect her to live here? If she wants something different, maybe she's having trouble approaching you about that, as you sound quite settled into living here.

Ask her what her dream is. Where she wants to be, what she wants to do. Hopefully you'll get an answer you can live with, but she may be being pulled two ways at the moment, between you being here and if she doesn't want to stay here.

Buona Fortuna

Yes, I think expections is the key here.

What do you want and what does she want?

Are you both here for good or are you both planning your next trip away to ....

Good Luck OP

R.D. aka MR.D

Sorry OP but i was like this for 2 full years and the only thing that cured it was leaving again.

I now live and work abroad. I don't ever plan to return to Ireland full-time as I'm miserable when I'm there. I even came home recently for 2 months and it's was misery. I spent practically everyday in bed because I couldn't get up I was that sad.

As another poster asked, what's the plan? Are you happy to settle here? Is that what she wants? Would she/ does she resent you?

All you can do is talk to her.

LegacyUser

Hi,

Thanks for the replies. Should have said in my original post but she plans to do south east asia for a few months mid next year she's basically only back here to work a little bit to build her money up again.

I have absolutely no problem with this and think it's a great thing to do. I try not to get too ahead of myself in relationships but I'll hopefully also visit her again while she's gone for a month or so if the 5/6 months she wants to be gone.

She did say I was the only reason she wanted to come home from Australia. But I'm far from settled here, absolutely despise the place which is why it makes things worse I think. Because she seems to nearly think it's opposite but I have told her. And even when she said things like I don't want to be here Etc. I just say neither does anyone. I can't think of any of my friends who actually want to be here to be honest. The only reason I'm here is too finish college which will be early 2016 unfortunately.

She also wants to go do a masters in something but is trying to get her traveling experience out of the way first but now she realised she doesn't like her. But if we were still together in years to come id go anywhere in the world with her to live if that was an option.

She knows all this but the only problem is this moment in time where she doesn't talk to me properly or doesn't want to do anything.