looking for nsa in my 40's can it be done?

LegacyUser

So I'm a single 40 something year old woman.
I haven't had a relationship for a few years and there's no sign of one coming my way.

Recently I've had two one_night stands, both with people I have known for a while.
Neither were going to turn into anything, they were just good fun.
Problem is though that they have 'awakened' my sex drive.
I remember how much I loved it and now I miss it so much.

So I have become curious about just meeting people for sex, does anyone here have any experience? I don't want to pick up some drunken fool for a night. I mean meeting someone, sober, for the purposes of sex.
I've seen Craigslist but I'm not sure if the people are genuine.

I intend to stay safe, and if I meet someone &we don't hit it off, then I won't be interested in having sex with them.

tl/dr; looking for nsa sex, not a relationship, are there people out there the same?
How do I meet them?

Tokyo

Online dating sites allow for a certain amount of leeway in this. If you are upfront with what you are looking for, then you won't have any issues in finding somebody that meets your criteria.

However, at risk of sounding overbearing, safety comes first OP. Remember that at the end of the day you will be dealing with strangers off the internet, and there are plenty of horror stories out there of where things went very badly wrong. Your "I intend to stay safe, and if I meet someone &we don't hit it off, then I won't be interested in having sex with them." approach seems sensible, just be aware that the person sitting across the table from you may not see it that way, if you're not careful. Arrange for drinks or a meal somewhere public and get a feel for the person first, with the option to walk away if they don't seem like the right person for you. And take it from there.

LegacyUser

Any reason why one or both of your recent one night stands couldn't turn into a friends with benefits?

Matteroffact

You might like the idea of NSA but when it actually happens it can bring up a lot of other problems with it, so just be sure of what you are embarking on first.

Mr. Loverman

There are apps for this.

Skout, Tinder, Badoo, etc.

If you're into Chinese guys (who knows?) install WeChat and use the "Discover / People Nearby" feature. Same goes if you're into Chinese girls. (You're welcome, lads).

I know you don't need to hear this, and I'm sorry for bringing it up, but to ensure it remains relatively stress free, always use a condom. (Some people will respond saying you could still catch herpes or warts, but you know, you can't remove all risk from life; there's a risk/reward tradeoff).

Good luck.

eviltwin

I think its great that you are taking back your sexuality again and its great that you know exactly what you want. Apps are your friend, there are also plenty of dating sites that offer NSA listings so it shouldn't be too hard to find someone.

Just be careful, you have to put your safety first.

Personally I would always want to build up a relationship with someone, a friendship of sorts so that there is mutual trust there. Maybe meet for a coffee first so you can get to know each other and see how you feel. You'll need to discuss boundries, what you both expect out of it, what's allowed and not allowed.

On the date itself I would arrange to meet somewhere not connected to me so don't bring him home, hire a hotel room. Always tell someone where you are and who you are meeting. I would advise against alcohol, just for the first few meetings in case you need to make a quick getaway. Don't accept food and drink from him and of course bring condoms.

Finally always trust your gut, if something feels off then don't hesitate to cut your losses and leave.

Lux23

As a woman, I think you have loads of options out there for you when looking for NSA - plenty of younger men and men your own age will be interested so yes, it is very doable.

You just gotta be safe and be sure that it is what you want. Have fun.

Buona Fortuna

Hi OP,

As Lux said above for a female its easily doable.

At the risk of becoming a mother hen though please do take your safety seriously:

• trust your gut
• meet in a crowded place
• Skyping a few times before hand would be good.
  • The build up is one of the best bits

  • Get to know each other better

  • Get to know likes and dislikes

  • Just be very attuned to any information he does not want to give
• A friend or relative that will expect your call at X O'Clock
  
  Best of luck OP