How to be more sociable during nights out and work parties?

LegacyUser

Hopefully someone can give me some tips here.

I used to be very introverted but have turned that around recently and my confidence and social skills have improved in leaps and bounds. I have a customer facing job and I love gaining a rapport and having banter with people. I'm still a bit stiff and wooden during nights out and parties however.

It could be a holdover from when I was younger and found going out kinda scary. I don't find it scary anymore just feel I'm still a bit awkward. I tried the have a few drinks to loosen me up trick when younger but found that just made me drowsy as the night wore on and made it harder to have an intelligent conversation with people. I don't really drink much now except for wine with meals.

With that in mind is there any general tips or things I can work on to improve my "banter skills" when on nights out? I'm not really looking to pull members of the opposite sex or gain best friends but just have the ability to strike up a conversation with random people in a bar/nightclub and have them think "that person was pretty fun and interesting" .

Rubberchikken

gen up on the 'match' last night. seems to be a good opener for guys. also, music, especially whatever is playing in the background of wherever you are.
even saying hi and smiling can break down a lot of barriers. none of the above will work all the time, but you'll get the hang of it.

well done on improving your social skills and confidence.

good luck

December2012

A great tip I got before is when making small talk or conversation, ask questions that have open ended answers, eg - do not ask questions that are answered yes or no because those words stop conversation.

Ex: instead of asking "any plans for the weekend?" Ask "so, what plans have you got for the weekend?" The former has a straight yes / no answer, but won't always lead to follow on. The latter will at least get a possible chance at conversation - "none yet / saving / playing football / bringing the kids to rugby / visiting the in laws" which give follow on opportunity for further chat.

SkyBlueClouds

sligoswell wrote: »

Hopefully someone can give me some tips here.

I used to be very introverted but have turned that around recently and my confidence and social skills have improved in leaps and bounds. I have a customer facing job and I love gaining a rapport and having banter with people. I'm still a bit stiff and wooden during nights out and parties however.

It could be a holdover from when I was younger and found going out kinda scary. I don't find it scary anymore just feel I'm still a bit awkward. I tried the have a few drinks to loosen me up trick when younger but found that just made me drowsy as the night wore on and made it harder to have an intelligent conversation with people. I don't really drink much now except for wine with meals.

With that in mind is there any general tips or things I can work on to improve my "banter skills" when on nights out? I'm not really looking to pull members of the opposite sex or gain best friends but just have the ability to strike up a conversation with random people in a bar/nightclub and have them think "that person was pretty fun and interesting" .

Hi OP,

People love to talk about themselves no end. Ask plenty of open ended questions. Could be topical (eg, what do you think of X on the news?). Hone in on their awnser (Well the economy is better in france...Oh really?)...and let the conversation flow from there. I used to be absolutley awful at chit chat and small talk - however, with practise it does get easier. Keep asking the other person about themselves with plenty of open ended Q's and you'll be fluent at it in no time