Anxiety/paranoid/depression.

LegacyUser

Hi folks,
I am 24years old male and ever since I can remember I have been suffering from social anxiety and depression when I let the anxiety get on top of me.

I have made some big mistakes in my life, since I was a teenager. Mostly fuelled by drink and drugs. But every has right!! The thing is is I think that I am still beating myself up because of my past.

I am in my second year of college now, and I have not told any of my college mates about past! Thursday while on a practical day one of the mentioned jokingly. I quote " imagine getting a big loan out of the credit union and heading over to Australia, drinking all the money away then coming 3weeks later broke", which is exactly what I done as is one of my big mistakes from the past. The thing is there is another guy from my area in my course and he seemed to be sniggering, at this fella remark towards me. Now, I didn't say that u done that so I presume the guy from my area found out and told him, and I travel down with this guy and he is ment to be my friend and all that, but anyway.

I have another question and would like to hear people's view on this. I have family all of whom I was very close to at 1 point. I kind of phased them out of my life as they seemed not bothered on even helping me a little bit, or just being nice after they found out I have anxiety and depression. They would even leave sly remarks towards me when in my company, like I'm weak or remarking again I'll quote "you wouldnt be well in the head though would you". I take no notice of the remarks there and then so not to look annoyed, but it does eat me up inside anyway I'll try to keep on track. But they know I am going throw a hard time but they have never helped me in anyway shape or form, so my question really is should I disown them, because inside that's really what will make me happy I feel as every time I see them I get this awful feeling of hatred towards them. I don't show it but I don't go out of my way to help them or make them happy anymore, which I used to do all the time with them. I don't miss them I think only for my girlfriend, I would be in some mess at this stage.

Rubberchikken

Tell yourself the old saying 'sticks and stones may beak my bones, but names will mever hurt me' when anyone feels their opinion is important enough to pass remarks/name call
Focus on your life and don't let others get to you

Good luck

LegacyUser

Hi ribberchicken, thanks for your advice.I will try my best. But do I really deserve this treatment. Since I stopped visiting them they have not come to visit me. It's like if I don't make the effort, they have no interest.

I would appreciate more advice on this. Whether it be good or bad criticism I can accept it. Thanks

Edgarfrndly

Hey OP - You made some mistakes in life. You're imperfect, just like everyone else. You went back to college, and are now setting plans to make a life for yourself. Let the past be the past my friend. Accept it, and be proud of what you're now achieving. I lived a similar tale - had an adventurous teenhood to say the least. But went back to college as a mature student and got a degree.

Just put your head down, work hard and everything will be worth it in the end. The anxiety and depression can be helped. Try find someone to talk to - a friend or a professional. Try sleep better, eat better and exercise - it will help stabilize your mood.

Lalealynn

Should I disown them? wrote: »

Hi folks,
I am 24years old male and ever since I can remember I have been suffering from social anxiety and depression when I let the anxiety get on top of me.

I have made some big mistakes in my life, since I was a teenager. Mostly fuelled by drink and drugs. But every has right!! The thing is is I think that I am still beating myself up because of my past.

I am in my second year of college now, and I have not told any of my college mates about past! Thursday while on a practical day one of the mentioned jokingly. I quote " imagine getting a big loan out of the credit union and heading over to Australia, drinking all the money away then coming 3weeks later broke", which is exactly what I done as is one of my big mistakes from the past. The thing is there is another guy from my area in my course and he seemed to be sniggering, at this fella remark towards me. Now, I didn't say that u done that so I presume the guy from my area found out and told him, and I travel down with this guy and he is ment to be my friend and all that, but anyway.

I have another question and would like to hear people's view on this. I have family all of whom I was very close to at 1 point. I kind of phased them out of my life as they seemed not bothered on even helping me a little bit, or just being nice after they found out I have anxiety and depression. They would even leave sly remarks towards me when in my company, like I'm weak or remarking again I'll quote "you wouldnt be well in the head though would you". I take no notice of the remarks there and then so not to look annoyed, but it does eat me up inside anyway I'll try to keep on track. But they know I am going throw a hard time but they have never helped me in anyway shape or form, so my question really is should I disown them, because inside that's really what will make me happy I feel as every time I see them I get this awful feeling of hatred towards them. I don't show it but I don't go out of my way to help them or make them happy anymore, which I used to do all the time with them. I don't miss them I think only for my girlfriend, I would be in some mess at this stage.

People ragging on you because of those things is really nasty. But they have revealed themselves to be unworthy of respect. They sound ignorant.

People who have depression or anxiety are not weak.

I think you have a history of hasty behavior and I would not make a quick decision. Let it rest. You are very young to do something like cut your family out.

It cannot be easy for them to watch you hurt yourself and make poor decisions and know they cannot stop you. Of course they still owe you familial loyalty and love.

I think you need to let go of the past. But that also means letting go of all behavioral patterns.

Don't assume all remarks or sniggers are personal to you. And if they are let them go. They are children. Don't play their games DO YOU. You are the one getting on with life and try and have a better relationship with yourself. Learn to value yourself better than a petty remark. They will try and bring you down or get in your head. But it sounds like you have been through enough not to be bothered by that.

Think of all you have been through. And you are here. Such little things can't beat you. Ha. They don't know you or who they are up against.

Talk to a therapist or Doctor about working through this stuff and

It's like if I don't make the effort, they have no interest.

Relationships are give and take and also the investment and effort you make is a signal of what you want.

I don't know what should be done about your family. You admit you made mistakes and that must have been hard for them. But I know family should never be cut out so lightly. I mean they clothed you and fed you. They do love you.

I really think you need a professional to talk to.

You have made some poor decisions due to rashness. So maybe don't act out of negativity this time. Don't do it like a wrecking ball. Relax and try not to take things so personally.

Your family are not visiting for a while. Maybe they find it difficult too. The relationship might be hard both ways. Give it time?

I think you are being hard on yourself but also hard on everyone else.