Fancying a Shy Guy I Hardly See?

LegacyUser

I really like this guy in my course. He's very quiet but funny when we talk. Thing is, we see each other once a week and that's it. The class is three hours. I try to get there early in case I can talk to him beforehand. We've talked a few times, but those conversations were really short (class isn't just a scheduled catch-up session, haha). It's a practical class so we all use computers to work at. Our computers are assigned by this stage, so I can't sit beside him next time. We're allowed to chat as long as our work gets done. I don't know him well enough to start a random conversation specifically with him, but he doesn't join in on group conversations. He's very quiet and shy. I can't ask for help from him as I sit beside all my friends and they'd know the answer to everything. Even if they didn't, my lecturer is only too happy to help, haha!

Whenever we talk, he's always really smiley which makes me hopeful that maybe he likes me - but maybe he's just a happy person? I've thought about asking him out for coffee in a few weeks if I get to chat to him more and think he likes me. It's just hard to figure out when the extent of our interactions is seeing each other for five minutes before class, if we even get to talk! By the time I've stood up to put my coat on to leave after class, he's left. He bolts it straight away, so talking after class isn't an option.

I can't find him on Facebook, and he doesn't really have any best friends in our course. I checked his friends Facebooks (I have them added) and can't find him there either, so I'm starting to think maybe he's just not on the site. I have no reason to get his number so I'm in a real pickle here.

I know it's the age-old question, but are there any ways to figure out if he likes me with such limited contact?

Also, we've no exam so a study date isn't an option either!

Lalealynn

Hi OP :-)

He probably doesn't know himself if he likes you or not. I think in order for you to find out whether or not you like each other you need to do coffee. Could you start getting into the habit of doing things after with the rest of the class? Ask him along. Or just ask him outright if he fancies coffee after. It doesn't have to be romantic just even matey and see if you click. If you do exchange phone numbers. If he says no to a coffee then you know I guess. :-) You could ask a couple of people from the class to go?

Mr. Incognito

As a lad, if a girl i fancied asked me out I would worship her forever.

Ask him for a coffee. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

kylith

Next time you're chatting to him just ask him if he'd like to meet up for a coffee. The worst that can happen is that he says no.

dellas1979

Make it very casual and just say something like "hey Im going for a coffee after class, wanna come?"

If he says no, absolutely no harm done-its just a coffee after class. If he says yes, well, mission accomplished, and get your flirt on!

Mr. Incognito

dellas1979 wrote: »

Make it very casual and just say something like "hey Im going for a coffee after class, wanna come?"

If he says no, absolutely no harm done-its just a coffee after class. If he says yes, well, mission accomplished, and get your flirt on!

This wrecks lads heads and is NOT asking him out. We hate it. He will say no. He is shy remember. We dont get hints. We dont get flirting. Multiplied by fifty for a shy guy.

Look him in the eye and ask him for a coffee. Just him. No drama. No "flirting"

Lalealynn

Mr. Incognito wrote: »

This wrecks lads heads and is NOT asking him out. We hate it. He will say no. He is shy remember. We dont get hints. We dont get flirting. Multiplied by fifty for a shy guy.

Look him in the eye and ask him for a coffee. Just him. No drama. No "flirting"

That does not sound like very much fun. Oh well each to their own.

OP. Just ask him to go for coffee. Ask him if he would be interested in seeing if you click. Tell him no pressure and relax.

People are generally nice. He is going to realize that it took a lot for you to ask too. The worst is he can say no, and he will say it nicely. But he could say YES !

Relax he will realize that it took a lot to ask him and that you would be very nervous.

kiffer

Lalealynn wrote: »

That does not sound like very much fun. Oh well each to their own.

Fun?! The "get him to ask me out by smoke signals" thing is fun? ;-)

OP. Just ask him to go for coffee. Ask him if he would be interested in seeing if you click. Tell him no pressure and relax.

People are generally nice. He is going to realize that it took a lot for you to ask too. The worst is he can say no, and he will say it nicely. But he could say YES !

Relax he will realize that it took a lot to ask him and that you would be very nervous.

I totally second (or third... reiterate) the straight out ask him thing. The hint dropping, walk past him three times and show your wrists while you talk, until he cops on school of thought needs to take a back seat here.
Dealing with shy people you have to take a more direct role.

dellas1979

Mr. Incognito wrote: »

Look him in the eye and ask him for a coffee. Just him. No drama. No "flirting"

This made me giggle.

In my womanly way, anyways, thats actually what my post said (maybe you misread/misinterpreted it, which would be ironic in itself).

Mine is smiley, relaxed "hey do you want to grab a coffee?". Youve to remember, she doesnt know him. He could have a gf, or many other things. She also has to share a class with him. This is dipping a toe in the water. Not "be my boyfriend".

Your interpretation of it sounds just more intense. I can imagine. Him just staring at her. Like a bug. No facial expressions. Her, a few stutters. Im not sure what the "no drama" part of it is (would she be crying/screaming at him?), and the "no flirting", well thats what people who fancy each other do.