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Apart from kids

  • 10-10-2014 12:41pm
    #1
    Eircom_Sucks
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,193 ✭✭✭


    Recently split up with ex after 5 years and 2 young kids who mean everything to me

    I'm finding it very difficult not having my kids with me etc , i break down alot as i never ever saw myself in this situation and find it hear breaking being apart

    Anybody else going through this ? How do u cope


Comments

  • #2
    skallywag
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,029 ✭✭✭skallywag


    I'm very sorry to hear that OP.

    Do you at least get to see them regularly?


  • #3
    Ann84
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 303 ✭✭Ann84


    It gets easier...

    Make a written agreement of when they are with you, formally through mediation of you can and then you can start to build a life for yourself in your free time...

    In time, you may want to date again, pick up hobbies etc. it is nice to be able to have some time free to do that. The trick is getting the formal shared parenting arrangement in place as soon as possible really...

    Best of luck


  • #4
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Eircom_Sucks wrote: »
    Anybody else going through this ? How do u cope

    Alas there is no quick fix to coping with seeing your own kids much less than you are used to.

    Clearly filling your life with other things to distract you is good advice you are likely to get often.

    What I have seen other people do also is work on investing time into preparing for the next time you WILL see them. Work out what you will do with them - make the preperations. If you are going to do some "make and do" with them then set it up - maybe practice it yourself - and ensure it is ready to go when they arrive. That way you maximise your time with them instead of them arriving and you faffing about wondering what to do with them.

    Invest in learning new skills or knowledge that you can pass on to them - or thrill them with - or both. One guy I knew took up magic. And every time he got to see his kids he thrilled them with his new tricks and performances.

    So invest time into preoccupying and expanding yourself - but with the edge on it that these new things you do will transfer positively onto the time you DO have with the kids - making you love it as much as them - and making you an important part of their life and development - as well as someone they look forward endlessly to seeing again.


  • #5
    jimmycrackcorm
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,403 ✭✭✭✭jimmycrackcorm


    OP, all you can do is make sure that you make the most of the time you do with your kids when you have them.

    I often think that while I am with mine all the time, we spend very little quality time together. So I'd say you can easily make up for that when you do have access.


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