When is too early to send out invites?

br2015

Hello

Our wedding is the first week in March and I would like to send out the invites first week in Dec so 12 weeks in advance and to miss the Christmas rush with post. This has not gone down well with my MIL to be as "they must be sent no earlier than 6 weeks away".

Is there any problem with posting them earlier than that?

From a fed up bride to be!

postsnthing

Send them when you like but if you must appease the mother in law send a save the date card. I personally like as much notice as possible on stuff like that.

Joe Exotic

getting married in june

6 weeks sounds far too little notice to me id always know what events im attending by that stage so if you leave it that late you will prob get clashes

i think 12 weeks i about right

MadelineX

I think that seems way too early. They'll got lost in the whole Christmas haze.

Have you send save the date cards?
Will a lot of people be travelling for it?
Those factors would impact on your decision

Id suggest waiting till Jan, think that would still give about 8 weeks.
6 weeks used to be considered the norm but that was when weddings were local

Buona Fortuna

br2015 wrote: »

Hello

Our wedding is the first week in March and I would like to send out the invites first week in Dec so 12 weeks in advance and to miss the Christmas rush with post. This has not gone down well with my MIL to be as "they must be sent no earlier than 6 weeks away".

Is there any problem with posting them earlier than that?

From a fed up bride to be!

Are all the guests in Ireland?

Even those in the UK, it takes a little bit of forethought to get over.

We had invitations to weddings in the States 12 months in advance.

Hope it goes well for ye OP

jameshayes

tell your mother in law to p!ss off, she had her wedding - this one is yours.

Typer Monkey

I had the opposite problem. My dad was badgering me to send invites from 5 months in advance. I sent them with 3 months to go and he was saying 'you're leaving it a little late'

I'm getting married on a Thursday so I wanted to give people plenty of notice so I tbink 3 months was right.

I did find that loads of people didn't RSVP tho and I had to chase them down for an answer. I think the fact that they got the invites so far in advance probably didn't help there because they put the invite aside and forgot about it because they thought they had ages!

br2015

Thanks to both of you. Yeah I agree I like a bit of notice and we have most people travelling so I want to make sure everyone has time to book accommodation to suit various budgets etc.

I think 6 weeks is very late too for planning but some people are a stickler for tradition..which I am finding very frustrating!

br2015

Thanks to you all. Yeah I agree I like a bit of notice and we have most people travelling so I want to make sure everyone has time to book accommodation to suit various budgets etc.

I think 6 weeks is very late too for planning but some people are a stickler for tradition..which I am finding very frustrating!

Ethan.Saaris

I went for 3 months and everyone had plenty of time to get ready for the wedding.

I also think 6 weeks is way too little time.

hmmm

What "tradition"? Personally, the more notice the better. A cousin recently sent out her invites 6 months in advance, and gave us plenty of time to free up the date and book a reasonably priced hotel.

br2015

Sorry for the double post above - can you delete mod?

Most guests are in Ireland but about 80% will be travelling and will need accommodation. We didn't do save the dates but its a relatively small wedding (75 people) so we have said it to most of the guests informally however as it's small I am concerned people might expect more plus 1s than are actually invited and it's all going to turn into a disaster just before the wedding so at least if we give plenty of notice people will be aware of all the facts.

I am so over being a bride, the stress from family members is unreal. Am I the only one out there? I hope so!

br2015

This made me laugh a lot thanks!

jameshayes wrote: »

tell your mother in law to p!ss off, she had her wedding - this one is yours.

Ethan.Saaris

br2015 wrote: »

I am so over being a bride, the stress from family members is unreal. Am I the only one out there? I hope so!

Haha, you're not the only one, my wife was the same. The stress can be overwhelming, indeed, but it will pass and pleasant memories will take its place over the years.

magicmushroom

Fèck the Mother In Law! I had all that kind of crap off mine when I was getting married, and I regret not putting my foot down and telling her to back off - it's your day, do it how YOU want

Anyway - I think you are right to send them early, attending weddings can be pricey for people and involve some planning so the more notice the better!

I would prefer to receive one 12 weeks in advance instead of 6

magicmushroom

br2015 wrote: »

I am so over being a bride, the stress from family members is unreal. Am I the only one out there? I hope so!

I actually hated planning my wedding, very stressful and people sticking their noses in and telling you what you should do 'in their opinion' was just head wrecking.

And the daily 'well, how's the planning going?' from at least 5 people every day...

Oh God I'm getting stressed just thinking about it again hahahah

coats

br2015 wrote: »

I am so over being a bride, the stress from family members is unreal. Am I the only one out there? I hope so!

Oh you are not the only one. can't wait for it all to be over and done with. Similar to you, I'm getting married midweek (on Tuesday!!) I sent my invites in July and I did have to chase up rsvps. Most of my guests needing accommodation was my reason for sending so early. The stress doesn't get any easier btw, especially from other people who have opinions on how things "should" be done.

Just suit yourself, its your day. Good luck!!!

br2015

Thanks for all the support - I am feeling confident now in putting my foot down. I always dreamed planning my wedding would be fun but oh no! The funny thing is she doesn't mention the wedding to me - it's all through my fiance who is in agreement with me!

I am sorry to hear I am not the only stressed one, I hope we all have amazing wedding days!

An Bhanríon

Getting married at end of November.

We sent 'Save the Date' texts / e-mails / facebook messages in July so people would have date and name of hotel. A good few people will be travelling so I wanted them to have the chance to sort out accommodation, flights, etc.

Sent invitations in mid-September with mid-October RSVP date. This means we will hopefully have chased up our final RSVPs by beginning of November and will be able to get the table plan done soon after that.

This is working well for us.

Maybe leave yours until after Christmas, though. They might get lost in the Christmas rush. And people do love to get something nice in January, when they are in the middle of their post-Christmas blues...

As for the MIL, explain to her why you are sending the invitations more than 6 weeks in advance. Tell her all your friends did that too and that it is now normal to do that. And if that doesn't keep her quiet, best of luck to you!!! (Only joking, people do go a bit mad around weddings. Don't worry, it's perfectly normal. I even went a bit mental myself a few times and I consider myself a very calm and rational person :-) :-))

br2015

I just feel that 8 weeks to the wedding is a bit short notice to be sending them so I am afraid to do it in January, the timing with Christmas is awkward - other than that how you are doing things seems to be working well. If we post last week in Nov it should be before Christmas and would give everyone enough notice but not too much (Wedding is March 1st).

Thanks for your advise re MIL - I will try explain when I see her next week but the problem is she doesn't talk to me about the wedding - only to her son. He is fed up with her too. Her 3 daughters got married within the last 5 years and they all did the 6 weeks invitation and he has been told so should we.

I can't wait for it to be all behind me!

An Bhanríon wrote: »

Getting married at end of November.

We sent 'Save the Date' texts / e-mails / facebook messages in July so people would have date and name of hotel. A good few people will be travelling so I wanted them to have the chance to sort out accommodation, flights, etc.

Sent invitations in mid-September with mid-October RSVP date. This means we will hopefully have chased up our final RSVPs by beginning of November and will be able to get the table plan done soon after that.

This is working well for us.

Maybe leave yours until after Christmas, though. They might get lost in the Christmas rush. And people do love to get something nice in January, when they are in the middle of their post-Christmas blues...

As for the MIL, explain to her why you are sending the invitations more than 6 weeks in advance. Tell her all your friends did that too and that it is now normal to do that. And if that doesn't keep her quiet, best of luck to you!!! (Only joking, people do go a bit mad around weddings. Don't worry, it's perfectly normal. I even went a bit mental myself a few times and I consider myself a very calm and rational person :-) :-))

Buttercup78

I'd go with your idea, your Wedding is on a Sunday right? People might need to arrange days off for the Monday. We sent ours out 11 weeks beforehand.

An Bhanríon

Sorry, I see now where your mother in law is getting the 6 weeks. So my suggestion about telling her that is normal practice is no good!

Anyway, the main thing I have learned about organizing a wedding is not to tell people stuff. The minute you start telling people your plans they start questioning everything and making you doubt yourself. And especially if you want to do anything that is any bit out of the ordinary, people start going 'are you sure that's a good idea'! Go do your invitations when you think is best. And try and close your ears to those who try to interfere!

Wishing you a great wedding day,

An B.

Milly33

Defo sending out early is the way to go.. I was planning on sending ours around 4-3 months before hand just to let people plan. I hate this 3 weeks beforehand its so annoying trying to arrange stuff..

Go for it!!

stinkle

Do what you feel is right for you. We had to invite a lot of people from abroad so sent them just under 3 months beforehand, though most people knew it was in the pipeline anyway. 6 weeks would have been very unfair on anyone travelling (a few left it late to book flights and they went up a lot in price) and would have been stressful for us following up invites too - our venue had a clause for booking a min number of rooms which I was afraid we wouldnt fill. We did though, and knew that well in advance of the day so it was one less thing to stress over.

Given you're posting them around December, it might be wise to give people as much notice as possible. I know someone said earlier it's nice to get something to look forward to if you send em in Jan, but it could also backfire if people are a bit broke after Christmas.

Toots

I say send them out at the first week in December (even last week in November if you want) There is never such a thing as too much notice for a wedding, but 6 weeks notice for a wedding where a lot of people will have to book accommodation is not enough. If your mother in law doesn't talk to you about the wedding, then don't bother mentioning the invitations to her. Tell your fiance to do the same. Then just send them out when you want, and if she gets her knickers in a twist about it that's her problem. At least your guests will have plenty of time to book hotel rooms, and if you're seeing them over the christmas it'll make it easier for them to RSVP.

freshpopcorn

When you Google 'When to send out wedding invitations'
A. Traditionally, invitations go out six to eight weeks before the wedding -- that gives guests plenty of time to clear their schedules and make travel arrangements if they don't live in town. If it's a destination wedding, give guests more time and send them out three months ahead of time.

I personally would feel bad sending somebody an invitation in December because it's such an expensive month and they might get lost in the post/mixed up with peoples Christmas cards.

Tarzana

My sister cut it very fine. She posted them today, 6th weeks to the day before her wedding. Including the UK and USA invites! :eek: And she still has a few to send where she wasn't sure of the address. Very lackadaisical altogether. And many people are going to need to book accommodation too. She's usually so organised, I was a bit shocked at how all over the place they were last night trying to get things done. She's very stressed though, her hen night fell a bit flat despite the efforts of me and the other bridemaids, and so her confidence seems to be a bit knocked and she's now anticipating all the things that might go wrong.

I never want to plan a wedding...

Tarzana

An Bhanríon wrote: »

Maybe leave yours until after Christmas, though. They might get lost in the Christmas rush. And people do love to get something nice in January, when they are in the middle of their post-Christmas blues...

Either that or they'll be despairing at more expense whilst looking at their depleted bank balance. :pac:

jlm29

I'd say leave it til jan. Most people will probably put them to one side, because they'll be so busy getting ready for Xmas anyhow.
Also, I kind of think that wedding invites sent too far in advance make it look a bit like you might be gearing up for second round invites...

Robyn_14

I've only just gotten engaged and already I am thinking we should never have done it!
Who are these people? On what planet do they think it's ok to tell other people what to do with their invitations or anything for that matter?
Ugh this makes me so angry!!!
As a side note, I think the most notice possible is great, people have such busy lives now, going to weddings cost money and notice allows you to account for that.

annoyedgal

Getting married third week in feb. Aiming to send invites first week of December before the Christmas rush and to give plenty of notice. I think January is a bad month to send invites as everyone sick of drink and broke! Mid to late December not great for obvious reasons and November is a bit soon. Your only two weeks after me so thought I'd add my two cents to the mix! I'd veer on the side of too much notice over too little!

Gatica

I think we sent ours about 10 weeks out. We had a 1 month before the wedding RSVP date, so if we'd sent invites only at 6 weeks, that would've been too soon for an RSVP. We had to give hotel numbers at 3 weeks before. So between chasing up late RSVP's we just about managed.
As others suggested, do what you and OH want and don't tell anyone. Send out invites and pretend you never knew your MIL wanted anything otherwise.

pwurple

I think send them out as soon as you have the guest list decided and the invites written. I've gotten invites a year in advance, was very happy with that, able to plan better. I think save the date cards are a complete waste of time/money myself. Just send the real invitation and don't be wasting your money on those is usually what I think. What do I need a letter telling me another letter is coming for? And if your invitation spills glitter or confetti into my porridge you're in big trouble too.