dating

rcarroll

started chatting to a guy about 3mths ago on an online dating site, I was out of the country so we couldn't meet up but there was nice easy chatting and he often asked to meet in person and asked when I was back. So 3 weeks ago we met up finally and had a good chinwag, met the following night for a proper date and it all went really well. Before the date there was a slight misunderstanding where I thought he was asking me over to his house for fun times, but he hadn't intended it, but when the issue came up he asked me if I was interested, which I said no. The date though was good and we ended up kissing.

So last week between different plans Thurs was the only day we could meet, and he was going down the country to see family the weekend. So I thought he'd invite me out, and despite chatting almost every dat that week, he never did...he just asked me what my plans were, I said nothing, and that was that...This week, contact has been less, he only seems to text when also using the dating site which really bugs me.

He contacted me first today after nothing all day yday, and replies have been short and no questions, hard to keep a convo going...and no suggestion for plans for the weekend, at all yet......it has me a bit annoyed and I'm wondering whether to ask what's going on, or call it quits??

btw I've never done online dating before, and we seemed to click, but I'm getting frustrated with feeling unsure of things.....

Have you been showing interest since the date or are you waiting for him to do all the initiating? Maybe he's waiting for you to ask him out again? He is still initiating contact with you first which is good. Perhaps its you who needs to show a bit more interest.

rcarroll

I think so? I mean, while he talked about kissing me, I was the one to initiate, and when he sent sad faces on whatsapp for havign to work away this week, I joked that he was sad cos he wouldn't get to see me...he just replied with a kiss and haha....I guess I took that to mean no or avoiding answering...maybe he misunderstood that I was hinting and looking for a yes

Meauldsegosha

If you want to go on another date with him ask him.

Mr. Loverman

I'm sorry, he's just not that into you.

I suspect you're not the only girl on the go at the moment.

Tilly

Pick up the phone and ask him out. You've got nothing to lose.

CaraMay

Don't ask him out. He is seeing others. If he wanted to see you then he had plenty of chances to ask.

strobe

Sounds in my opinion, that he is unsure whether or not you are interested, much the same as you, and doesn't want to waste his time. After the mix up with you two being physical, he asked if you wanted to be, you said no. I hope it was a little more nuanced than it sounds. I think he's thinking he's wasting his time tbh. If things were reversed and there was a mix up and you said 'well... what do you think?' and he said 'yeah, not interested' what would you be thinking?

Sounds like he's trying to play it cool because in his mind you've been playing it very cool.

Tilly

CaraMay wrote: »

Don't ask him out. He is seeing others. If he wanted to see you then he had plenty of chances to ask.

They're not in a relationship and have only met 3 times. He can see who the hell he likes. As can she!

If she wants another date she should ask him out and not presume the guy is always going to take the lead.

rcarroll

Thanks lads for taking the time to reply, I know it's not a major problem bit I'm just not sure how to date after not doing it in 2yrs. ...And online dating feels so weird to me.

So in reply, caramay there might b someone else, thats what I'm getting a feeling of tho he says he hasnt seen anyone in over 1mth and is super busy..as another poster said tho we've onky had 2 dates, so I don't know if it's too soon to say anything.

As for saying no strobe- it was afted the first date which lasted only 2hrs..I told hin I wasn't going to sleep with someone r go to their house when I've only just met them which he agreed with and said good decision. I hadnt even imagined he might feel rejected I thought it was obviously no...

I know you say ask him, but I also don't want to waste my time with someone who's half hearted....I feel after dropping hints and moving to kiss him first he knows I like him...if he doesn't ask me out and lets it slide then there's my answer...if he does then I know he's interested...

Meauldsegosha

rcarroll wrote: »

I know you say ask him, but I also don't want to waste my time with someone who's half hearted....I feel after dropping hints and moving to kiss him first he knows I like him...if he doesn't ask me out and lets it slide then there's my answer...if he does then I know he's interested...

I don't think he is being half hearted. He is initiating texts, asked what your plans are. When he asked what you were doing on Thursday instead of saying "nothing" you should have said "meeting you ". He probably feels you are being half hearted. Stop dropping hints, you are an adult not a teenager. Dating, whether on line or off, is only difficult if you make it difficult by over-thinking the whole thing. He has been talking to you for three months before meeting. If he wasn't interested he would have stopped talking to you after a week.

keane2097

People don't have to be 100% certain of how much they like you in the first ten minutes of a relationship.

The snap-default to "ditch him he's not that into you" is bizarre. If he's feeling a bit half-hearted where's the harm in that? He hardly knows you! Maybe he will become more interested the more he gets to know you.

Why not just ask him out?

gaynorvader

Just throwing my 2c in. Maybe instead of simply responding "nothing", you should try engage a bit more and say something along the lines of "Nothing, you want to do something?". It can seem like you're not interested if you just say "nothing"

rcarroll

took your advice, asked him if he wanted to meet up sat as neither of us are busy..no reply...guess there's my answer at least

Lalealynn

CaraMay wrote: »

Don't ask him out. He is seeing others. If he wanted to see you then he had plenty of chances to ask.

Basically this.

took your advice, asked him if he wanted to meet up sat as neither of us are busy..no reply...guess there's my answer at least

Hugs OPxx

Have a girlie week then get back on the horse and get out there and start dating! Mr Right is out there and he will be totally into you!