A comment of an adult; what do you think?

LeakingLava

My girlfriend and I celebrated our 5th year anniversary yesterday. She posted a picture on a social media account with a caption including the sentence 'Couldn't ask for more'. An adult that we know(not very close to) had commented 'Why don't you want more?' on the picture.

What do you think about this comment or this person and what does this person think of us?

CaraMay

What is your issue with the comment?

anncoates

I think they're vainly appealing to a sense of humour or perspective that you might not have

LeakingLava

CaraMay wrote: »

What is your issue with the comment?

Knowing this person, this comment HAS meaning and it's not meant for humor. This person was not ever close to us and has never made a joke or whatever whenever we see each other. This person is usually serious.

anncoates wrote: »

I think they're vainly appealing to a sense of humor or perspective that you might not have

If it was for humor, I really don't mind. To be honest, even if the comment was serious, I don't really care what this person thinks of us but my girlfriend is a bit disturbed as she knows as much as I do that this comment was made to mean something and not for humor. Then with that in mind, I kinda want to know what you guys really think this person meant with the comment.

ManOfMystery

Context is everything. What relationship do you have with this person? Friendly? Friction? etc? That may help define if it was just a poor attempt at humour or if they're having a dig at your relationship.

** edit, just saw your reply after I posted. Sounds like they're having a dig at you alright. But it's really impossible for us to say any more than that, we don't know this person or what their motivation is.

cactusgal

I think they were passing comment about ye being together for five years, but not being engaged or married, ie, what they would consider "more."

I could be wrong, but that's my take.

That's one of the many reasons why I never put up anything about my relationship on social media - you open yourself up to all sorts of commentary and judgement by others, whether you like it or not.

LeakingLava

ManOfMystery wrote: »

Context is everything. What relationship do you have with this person? Friendly? Friction? etc? That may help define if it was just a poor attempt at humor or if they're having a dig at your relationship.

We really have not much connection. We see each other around once a week in church. I have not heard anything from this person that is against us but knowing this person, this person is usually against young relationships.

LeakingLava

cactusgal wrote: »

I think they were passing comment about ye being together for five years, but not being engaged or married, ie, what they would consider "more."

I could be wrong, but that's my take.

That's one of the many reasons why I never put up anything about my relationship on social media - you open yourself up to all sorts of commentary and judgement by others, whether you like it or not.

This is definitely a great input. Thank you very much.

Rubberchikken

People who put their private lives on social media are open to every spiteful person's comments., that's the problem.

If you're not anyway closr to them just ignore it and put it down to jealousy and pettiness.

indigo twist

They were probably being a little bit sardonic.

No one "couldn't ask for more"; in an ideal world, surely you'd be happier with an extra fiver in your pocket, or an extra/less five pounds to your weight, for example? No matter how happy you were with everything else in your life?

It was a throwaway comment. Ignore it and move on.

pc7

Just delete or block then from FB if they aren't a good friend or you don't like their post. Even delete their post, I'm not really part of generation FB so I can know it's the b all and end all for some. But if someone is bringing you down just get rid.

santana75

The issue isnt the comment OP its your reaction and interpretation of the comment. Who cares if this person was joking/being serious, it really is their problem not yours. Dont let comments like that get to you, even for a second. If youre not happy with the comment or the person than dont give them the time of day, they'll go away soon enough trust me. Theres always gonna be people who say nasty things to you, thats life, but you have a choice in how you react. You can sit and worry and over think about what they actually meant or you can just dismiss them and their comments and not let them put a dent in your happiness.

sashafierce

This post has been deleted.

LeakingLava

sashafierce wrote: »

This post has been deleted.

Hmm. I am currently 21 and so is my girlfriend. I believe that this person is just against 'young adults' in a relationship as this person has had talks regarding not indulging into relationships too early. Even if this person was against our relationship because we are 'too young', this reason doesn't really explain the comment. This person is indeed very religious and a bit strict regarding relationships in church especially with young people in the church.

This person definitely doesn't have interest in my girlfriend.

sashafierce

This post has been deleted.

CaraMay

Maybe they mean why do you not want more than a boyfriend eg job, traveling, study. The implication being there is more to life than a relationship.

Why do you care so much?

bee06

CaraMay wrote: »

Maybe they mean why do you not want more than a boyfriend eg job, traveling, study. The implication being there is more to life than a relationship.

Why do you care so much?

I'd agree that they are pointing out that you are young with lots of living ahead of you so you should want more than what you have now.

LegacyUser

Quite why your GF feels the need to post such a comment is for you both to decide ( I cannot see why anyone would post something so personal) but if such a comment is made then you have to accept all viewers' possible responses.

If it's someone as distant as you say then just ignore it.

LeakingLava

Thanks a lot everyone for all the inputs. Definitely clearing things up for my girlfriend.

CaraMay wrote: »

Maybe they mean why do you not want more than a boyfriend eg job, traveling, study. The implication being there is more to life than a relationship.

Why do you care so much?

LeakingLava wrote: »

I don't really care what this person thinks of us but my girlfriend is a bit disturbed as she knows as much as I do that this comment was made to mean something and not for humor. Then with that in mind, I kinda want to know what you guys really think this person meant with the comment.

Lalealynn

I would wager that they are trying to be clever and interesting. Waxing lyrical and philosophical is an art :-P, some people screw it up and it becomes offensive.

I think that's what happened here.

kylith

Write it off as a spiteful comment by a sad little man/woman. Block them if you can, life is too short for people's negativity.

Big Bag of Chips

LeakingLava wrote: »

my girlfriend is a bit disturbed as she knows as much as I do that this comment was made to mean something and not for humor.

Why does your gf just not reply "What do you mean?".

Then when they answer you'll know what they meant.

Lalealynn

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

Why does your gf just not reply "What do you mean?".

Then when they answer you'll know what they meant.

It could just escalate if you are going to inquire or raise it with them pm it.

LegacyUser

LeakingLava wrote: »

My girlfriend and I celebrated our 5th year anniversary yesterday. She posted a picture on a social media account with a caption including the sentence 'Couldn't ask for more'. An adult that we know(not very close to) had commented 'Why don't you want more?' on the picture.

What do you think about this comment or this person and what does this person think of us?

To me, my first assumption was actually perhaps it was her attempt at a nudge to perhaps a more long term idea i.e. a nudge to buy a ring or maybe the pitter patter of tiny feet, people are rarely openly mean for no reason, on a public website where they can be identified/others can be seen. It was probably her attempt at being nice which backfired/didn't come off the way she thought it would.

Big Bag of Chips

I think it has been proven somewhere that the default tone we read text in is aggressive (I'm paraphrasing). So you automatically read that as a negative dig at you - "Why would she not want more than you?"

There's an excellent chance that that is definitely not what they meant. As others said it could have meant - things are obviously great between you, why don't you want more together?

The only way to know is to ask them or to assume that they meant it in a nice way. Even if they didn't mean it nicely, so what? Is your relationship dependent on their blessing? Are you likely to break up because this person disapproves of your relationship?

If your gf is going to be sensitive about how many "likes" she gets or how many comments of congratulations she gets then she might be better off not posting such personal feelings.

kiffer

I would suspect that this individual just wasn't getting the comment that your partner made.
You say they are very serious? Could it be that they just missed that she meant it as a romantic gesture and defaulted to commenting on it as if it was an unconnected thing?
Like when someone calls work the zoo or circus and some goes off on one about circuses and zoos being cruel... or just thinks your at an actual zoo and says something that doesn't fit.


Any which way, it sounds like this person isn't really the sort you want too much contact with.
Ignore the comment.
Facebook lets you sort people into groups, and allows you to set it so only some can see things you post.
Move her to acquaintance, move your close friends to close friends and then adjust your settings so she doesn't see any thing.
Do this for anyother annoying people and facebook will get more friendly.

LegacyUser

its possible that this person took the phrase 'couldnt ask for more' in a LITERAL way instead of as an expression, as it was intended. It could read that your girlfriend meant 'well, I wanted more, but I couldn't ask', and this person is just saying 'why couldnt you ask?'.

skallywag

I think you are reading far too much into this OP. My take is that this chap was just trying to be witty etc. I know a few people who would post exactly the same type of thing.

neemish

I have one or two friends on FB who ALWAYS have something funny/sarky/ironic to say (or it is in their minds anyway). And it can turn an innocent post into an awkward moment.
There are two ways of dealing with it
1. Close friends - say to yourself, there they go again. Always so pass commentable. It's their issue not mine. And make up your mind not to be like that yourself.
2. Not so close friend/acquaintance - unfriend, and say good riddance, I have more to be doing with my time than reading that kind of sh1t.