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Crush on friend

  • 07-10-2014 9:22pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I've had a crush on my friend for about five months, I thought it would come and go but it doesn't seem to be shifting at all. The problem is I really like this girl as a friend, we're very close and I would never do anything to ruin our friendhship so I'm just asking is there anything I can do to go back to just seeing her as a friend?

    I don't really have any interest in other girls anymore. It's also hard to hear her talk about other lads. I feel like I'm snapping at her, then upsetting her or pretending to be delighted for her but upsetting myself when she confides in me about those things. To be honest, I'm just really annoyed that I've developed feelings for a mate.

    Any advice or experience is appreciated.


Comments

  • #2
    Virgil°
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,466 ✭✭✭Virgil°


    I think you've really only got 2 choices OP.

    Either you lay it out your feelings for her and see if she returns interest. If that's what you want. If you try and she knocks you back then you tone down contact until your feelings subside.

    Or you skip straight to the toning down contact. She will probably notice this pretty quickly and ask why at which stage you can tell the truth or lie and ignore her further.

    Its an unfortunate thing OP but from experience attempting to stay close intimate friends with a person you have strong romantic feelings for just never works. Chances are you may already have overlooked some great girls who would be perfect for you but you cant see them through this girls shadow.
    If you decide not to go for it my advice would be not to sit about pining as you have been and get your head space ASAP.

    best of luck.


  • #3
    Buona Fortuna
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,507 ✭✭✭Buona Fortuna


    Good advice above.

    This happened to me once.

    Had a really good female friend at work. Laid cards on the table. Have to say the build up was fantastic. Did the deed, was OK, but things were never the same after.

    Then I left and we never kept in touch. Now whether we would have, if we hadn't got all hot and sticky for a while is one of life's great unanswerables.

    I wish you well OP ;)


  • #4
    Wompa1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,193 ✭✭✭Wompa1


    I say roll the dice. When you get older odds are she won't be a close friend any more anyways. People have a tendency to move in different directions which makes keep close friends difficult. Nothing risked, nothing gained.


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